I had been hanging out with 2 friends yesterday, John and Ben. We all were at Ben's house smoking cigars and drinking, ended up playing some shot pong and I got pretty drunk. Chill night, i'm in bed at around 2am and Ben comes into the room and tells me that one of his friends invited him over to her house, she has 2 friends there. John and I were invited, so we went.

We all took one car. That really fucked up logistics for later on. Ben drove because John sucks at driving and I was too drunk at the time. We got there and the girl who invited us, Hannah, came out and brought us in. Walking in I made sure I had a smile and shook the girls' hands. There was Lauren and Megan, Hannah had a thing for Ben even though he was in a relationship. I focused on Lauren since she seemed the most attractive. Keep in mind it was 2:30am at this time, so everyone was pretty tired. Because of this I tried to focus on my energy, but not being too energetic. I just tried to walk in with a smile, giving off a vibe that I was excited to meet them and I was exciting, while still remaining pretty chill. Because of the low amount of people Ben and Hannah were talking and catching up. Megan was on her phone and John wasn't really interested in her so he was doing the same. I sat down next to Lauren and started to talk to her.

My main goal was to raise her energy up a little bit, so I negged her phone font and challenged her. Here's how I did that. I sat down next to her and after having some small talk saw she had an Galaxy S5 Active, I had the S5. Connected with her on that, still pretty weak connection though. She had one of those Cursive custom fonts that come with the phone, and I told her that was terrible. She wasn't too offended with her response, she was smiling actually because it was ridiculous, but then I kept this going back in forth with smiling and laughing about her terrible decision of that font and how I was judging her. I told her she needed to change it, she said she wouldn't I said I would. This gave me something to come back on later when the conversation died down, and it gave me an excuse to be physical with her later, which I ended up using.

Keep talking to her, I considered running the Cube but in that situation I thought it would be a bad idea, my friends would have come in and asked what I was doing when they heard something interesting going on. Maybe I should have though. She was drinking Seagram wine cooler things which were like 3% Alcohol, I took it out of her hand to taste a few times and then told her "I'm taking this from you" which worked pretty well. She would reach over for it and then I would reach over her for it back, I didn't really keep up with it though because I didn't want to get any more drunk, even if those drinks were weak as fuck. So I just kind of killed the energy and stopped fighting with her over the drink. Maybe I should I been pouring it in her mouth when she wanted some or just keep control over it. Sounds weird but that entire night was weird and she probably wouldn't be weirded out, she'd take it as a joke. I dont know though hahaha. Anyway I tell her I have some vodka in the car and ask her to walk out with me to it. This was the ONLY time I took control and moved her around. I was passive every other time and that's what fucked up my game near the end. She complained she wasn't wearing shoes so I told her I would carry her. She said she was really heavy and I said "Challenge accepted" and picked her up, ran her across the lawn and at one point she let go of my neck and said "What if I fell" and she was laughing. I dropped her for a second and then picked her up in the air, and we laughed over that. I got the vodka and considered kissing her. I should have man, the time was right, stars were out. I just didn't think I had built up enough rapport and was afraid of her rejecting me. What I learned from that was that I NEED to always go for the kiss as soon as I can isolate, if we are that physical. Would it be a bad idea to have as a rule of thumb "If she's in your arms and loving it, then she'll kiss you and love it"?

We walked back inside and I would say this is when I fucked up. Because I questioned myself at the car I questioned every other part of the night and just kind of fell apart. Didn't want to drink any because of my condition but I was good to have another later that night, that would have convinced her to have some, since it was my alcohol and I was opening it. Maybe not though. John, Ben, Hannah and I ended up playing Uno.

When I wanted to smoke a cigarette I fucked up because after the UNO game I needed to rebuild a connection with Lauren, who was playing around with Megan on the floor, they were like messing with this rug thing and rollign themselves up in it. Now that I think about it maybe she was pretty drunk.. Anyway I just said "Wanna go outside for a cig?" She didn't smoke and I was going to kiss her out there. But I didn't push it, and because of that I never kissed her that night. I should have just taken her hand and taken her outside, I could have said I wanted to see the stars with her or something. I would have done it as soon as the energy died down. But I didn't.

Good thing though, I brought back the font thing and wrestled with her to get her phone. We sat down together on a couch and I changed the font, we agreed on one and then everyone started going to bed. She told me "You're not getting under these covers with me" I said "Oh really" and went under them. We had clothes on, we were all in the living room. We just spooned for like 3 hours. I kept on wanting to kiss her but figured she had fallen asleep and didn't want to because that would be weird. All I did was rub her arm and play with her fingers and breath into her ear (It was right next to my nose) and at one point I tried to initiate something. I started kissing her ear lobe and I was waiting for a response. There was none at all, so I stopped. I wanted to go somewhere else but she was really tired and I didn't think she would. I kept on moving around because it was hot as fuck in my long sleeve shirt and that kept waking her up. It was really uncomfortable. Eventually she left without saying anything and layed down in Ben and Hannah's room. Which was good for Ben because Hannah was coming on to him and he didn't want to cheat on his girlfriend.

I don't know why she left, probably because I was keeping her up moving around. Or I was just being weird. Really embarrassing night, would have done so many things differently... There was a time before Ben adn Hannah were in that room where Lauren and I could have gone into it. I just need to be more controlling of the night and don't let things just take place.

I didn't have control over a lot though. It was 4 in the morning when we first layed down. She had work at 8 in the morning, and we didn't get there until 2:30, so I should cut myself some slack. Next time though.