Alright seddit, I've been suffering from oneitis for months over a girl that some people have called toxic. I let my brain justify stupid behavior and repeatedly responding to her call and going to her apartment after she went out all night, failed to get plugged by other guys, and found herself lonely and feeling needy. She wouldn't have sex with me, she barely kissed me most nights, but she used my company and the fact that i liked her to escalate her low selfesteem. I would get really confused, think about her constantly, think about what I could've done differently and even let these thoughts and anxieties interfere in my personal life. Despite the fact that all of her friends told me it would never happen, that she was using me like she used all the guys she sees and that everyone hated her, my brain would rationalize her shitty treatment of me, my shitty treatment of myself and delude itself into thinking that this time it would be different. It never was, and it never will be, every time i go to her apartment I'm going to afc out and she's gonna toy with me. So all I can do is ignore her calls, find something else to occupy my time and talk to my therapist about it.

So last night, her roommate (under 21) asked me to buy wine for her and I said no because i didn't even want the possibility to see my oneitis girl to arise nor did I want to think I would see her and not. So I said no, and made a date with another girl.

This other girl kept telling me (on facebook chat) how she wanted to go out last night with someone because a bar near her house had free drinks for an hour. I told her I wasn't trying to go out there, but that we could come out for a drink at a bar across the street from my apartment. She more than obliged and drove over immediately.

She texted me that she was at my place, but wouldn't get out of her car until she saw me. I saw the texted, headed downstairs, and was sure to respond to the text while I was definitely in her eye view even though I couldn't see her. First thing I noticed was how nice she looked, way too dressed up for a wednesday night and wearing an unnecessary necklace (signs she likes me). We hugged and proceed into the bar. Couple key points: hug off the bat is mandatory, create kino early; and notice things like lots of jewelery or nicer clothes than necessary, definite IOIs.

We sat and had a few drinks that were surprisingly strong for two dollars a piece. I told her to get the drinks, even though we alternated who paid each round. We had about four rounds over the course of an hour, about 20 min before we left I suggested we got pizza (there's a place half a block away from the bar) and go back to my place to watch a movie, she was receptive to this. In conversation, she would say things to raise her perceived value, every time she attempt to do that, I would half ignore it and just state the contrary. (she said something about how she always wins and I said "nobody bats 1.000, she said something about how she had a certain color straw in her drink i pretended to ignore her and then snatched the straw out of her drink when she wasn't looking). Point is, I had a dominant frame and dominated her frame. I was mostly leading the conversation, but still receptive to what she said. I responded to her attempts to impress me by acting unimpressed and keeping a controlling frame, but rewarded her by engaging and acknowledging her attempts.

We went to get the pizza, and ate it there. I saw several girls I knew because a lot of greek people were partying last night. Eating there gave the opportunity for DHVs bc I know the area and a lot of people who go in to that restaurant. On the walk to the pizza place, she mentioned something about how guys grabbed her ass a lot and how she was used to it. Immediately after she said that, I grabbed her ass about as firmly as I could, she laughed and brushed into me as we kept walking. When we got back to my place, we watched tv for a few minutes, and I kept my distance so she could get close to me, she obliged. After a few minutes, I turned the TV off, stood up and pulled her up by her hand, then dragged her into my room and k-closed as soon as we entered my dark room. Note that the kino was unforced once we got into my apartment, but I rewarded her initiation of it by escalating, I kept the dominant frame by helping her up and pulling her into my room.

When we got in bed she gave some lmr, saying she didn't want to give it up on the first night. This was silly, she was moaning at my touch, and in her bra and panties in my bed. I was naked and had my erect cock against her leg. She told me I had to work for it, and go out with her again, I pulled back a bit and told her I knew she wanted it. She didn't respond and there was about a half a minute of silence before she asked if I was mad. I said no, and repeatedly went in to kiss her without going all the way. I teased the hell out of her and took her bra off. She opened up to it as our kissing got more intimate and I firmly grabbed her ass, and did some finger stuff. I teased a lot, it got to the point where she was ready to have sex and I made her wait and kept teasing. Eventually I asked if i should put a condom on and she said, "yeah... for safety." Obviously for safety. Anyway, we had sex despite the fact that I never even implied I wanted to see her again, and she spent the night.

Just woke up to find she left her necklace here, gonna let her contact me about that one. Point is, one way to deal with LMR is to make her want it more than you do and then deny her. No need to lie about your intentions, girl definitely knows I'd never be exclusive with her. However, I will definitely see her again. Point is, have an abundance mentality and be open about what you expect and what they shouldn't expect from you. Hone your skills and practice them on girls who already show interest in you. Don't be deceptive; make yourself vulnerable, and don't mess with a girl because she likes you. If you make it clear what's going on instead of trying to trick a girl into fucking you by making them think there's more there, you might be successful but that's really shitty. Make your intentions clear and act on them, but also don't take things to seriously.