A little background: I'm a hardcase newbie living in India who has never gone on a date before in my life. These days, I try to approach whenever there's a remote possibility even if I'm having bitch butterflies. So in a way, I've learned to live with approach anxiety. A couple of months ago, I'd approached (spoke and got myself introduced with) an HB9 who works nearby my office, and ever since we just keep exchanging smiles and hi.

I've been trying to ask her out or get her number from a very long time, but I never made it happen by stopping her while she's going somewhere, or doing something to start a conversation. Yesterday, she was having her lunch all by herself near the canteen, so I decided to go for it. My targets: get her number, escalate, and get a date.

Like I mentioned, she was all alone in a table that had 4 chairs. What I would have normally done if it wasn't for r/Seduction is ask for permission to sit down in the table, but I thought that would be more awkward even though it feels like it would be less awkward, so I just pulled the chair that is opposite to hers and sat down asking her this question:

"Hi, you're eating alone?"

"Yeah, I normally eat a bit late so I don't have any company.

She just said this and looked down at her food and continued eating. In fact, I don't think she was even looking at me while answering. Mind you, my heart was beating so fast because of the bitch butterfiles, and her reaction only made me feel worse, like I'm violating her personal space. I was just feeling horrible at that moment, and nothing was coming to my mind that could break the ice except for these thoughts. So not knowing what to say, I was sitting there drinking the fruit juice in my hand and feeling like shit.

"My job isn't exactly 9 to 6, so I eat at these odd hours. Do you guys have fixed timings like 9 to 6?"

Holy balls, she broke the ice and bailed me out. Now I'm not sure if she was herself thinking of what to say to me to avoid the awkward silence by looking down at her food or if she was really creeped out and caught off guard because of me just taking that seat out of the blue. I'll never know, but I still think I did the right thing by just taking that seat. In retrospect, I think I would have exited if the awkard silence went on for another 10 seconds and I couldn't come up with anything. I'd have probably exited by pretending like I got some call or something that I need to attend urgently.

"No, we're very flexible too. Nobody cares as long as we do our jobs. Of course, if there's a team meeting or something, then you'll have to attend, but no one bothers about in and out times."

"We had a management change recently, and you know when it happens people need to work a lot at odd timings, etc..."

"Yeah, I know, so what do you guys do?"

"Oh we supply materials to our defense department. You know these capacitors..... cables.... missiles....."

I completely missed what she was saying because I was too much in my head thinking of what to say next, and by the time I came back to reality, I had no idea what she was talking about, so I just decided to tell the same thing to her.

"I've no idea what you're talking about."

"Ha ha, yeah, you guys in software wouldn't understand, it's mostly mechanical engineering. I was an engineer before I took this job. I was working in Mumbai before this, I studied at blah blah."

At this point I realize that she was talking a lot. I've not included some other things that we spoke about to keep this FR shorter, but I noticed her cutting me off in mid-sentence more than a couple of times. I was thinking of asking her where she worked, where she studied, what she majored in, but she told me everything without even me asking her. I'm not complaining, though :)

"Ha ha, yeah. We know only about functions and classes."

"Oh, I learned C++ but programming was never a thing I could do well."

"Well, I guess you know how to launch a missile."

"Ha ha, no...."

And then she went on about why she doesn't know how to launch a missile.

I changed the topic about me going on an extended vacation. She then told me about her love for cold places, mountains and shit, and suggested that I go visit those places in North India. We talked about a lot of other things, and bam, she got up and said:

"Ok, I've work to do. I'm leaving."

And she left. I didn't know if she left right after she finished eating or if she had finished eating long back and was just talking with me after that. I didn't notice at all. I was actually thinking of escalating the conversation by telling her that I find her interesting and would like to take her out on a date at some high point, but this completely threw me off my plans, so I just kept sitting there like an idiot sipping my fruit juice. The reason why I'm disappointed with me sitting at the table after she left was because: 1) I wanted to initiate the closing. 2) I didn't act cool when she said "I'm leaving." Yes, stupid me. 3) I didn't want to sit there like an idiot feeling disappointed, which I did and that which she actually noticed.

The good point is that I got to spend some time with her and had an actual conversation instead of the smalltalks that we were having in the elevator once a month. The bad point is I didn't get her number, I didn't escalate, and I didn't ask her out on a date. It's still on with this girl, but thankfully, I'm not having a oneitis with this girl.

It's funny how I was super happy about a few months ago when a girl returned my smile, and now I'm disappointed at things like not getting dates and numbers. I guess it's a good sign, all thanks to you folks here. I'll keep you guys posted on my future adventures. Thanks for reading, and like always, any advice is appreciated.