Background: It's an ex. Who has a boyfriend... I think. What I'm trying to do is just reconnect as a friend. And yes, I've had long thoughts about doing this, yes, I do/did/might still do suffer from oneitis and, yes, I've thought about the other side but I do not steal girls who have boyfriends.

I'm using seddit techniques not to seduce but just to give me a guideline and able to convince her I wasn't who I was, so I'll be able to hang out with her in person and there won't be long awkward pauses when I finally get to hang out with her (which seems to be a long shot from now).

Field Report:

So, it started on an social site. After a very long period of no contact, I received a message asking how I was. I replied back and got no reply for almost three days. I then messaged her back along the lines of "this must be record breaking of conversation silence!" A joke in reference to our period of silence. It worked, we started talking. I started to thread. It lead me to getting her phone number.

I got her number and on the social site, she told me to send a message. Instead I called her. (Breaking up predictability and structure). Success. She was tired but excited to talk to me. It was a good conversation.

Conversation above was a few days ago. Skipping to today. I initiated contact and asked her if she felt like a, for example, a goat and sent her a picture in relation of a goat and the emotion she attached it with (say "excited" or "lazy"). A reference to what she said in our previous conversation. She laughed and our conversation continued, which leads to her saying that she's having her days off soon. (Previously, I asked her if she'd like to go have lunch or something. She said "i'll think about it" with laughter.) Now, I used her "days off" comment and segued into asking her if she had any plans. After this question, there was a pause and I didn't leave it alone and quickly reverted to the previous topic before waiting for an answer if she had plans. I kept talking and pretty much... failed.

This resulted in being overwhelming, almost needy like, trying to force a conversation and what I think, also resulted in her blocking me (on whatsapp) because I can't see the online status or her photo anymore. God... I feel so defeated and just trying to meditate to calm down. (Apologies for this part being "diary-like").

After Thoughts:

What I'm planning to do, is either text her or call her, after a period of time, and apologize but I feel this isn't the right thing to do. The other thing to do is just leave it and move on but we are/were friends at one point and just wanted to get things straight, then most likely leave and move on.

I was also talking to few friends, which might have given me a bit of conversation confidence but strayed into over confidence and panicky and I became overwhelmingly chatty and panicked. I stopped all conversations right now.

Any thoughts?