Hi folks, I posted a few months ago about a failed SNL goal. I'm writing today to tell of a field report of an SNL success.

This story starts with 3 nights of frustrated unsuccess. I flew to Chicago for work and had 4 nights to burn, which was great. I hit the town and failed for 3 nights. The first three nights were spent in clubby areas with clubby chicks. I love to dance, but I'm not good dancing with others. Dancing solo, I can gain the attention of all the girls around me, I'm above averagely fly on my feet. However, I get anxious and can't hold a prolonged dance with another. So, I did not get lucky the first three nights I feel because I was outside of my natural habitat.

Queue 4th night and final night in Chicago. I had decided that I would spend it in a neighborhood and bars more akin to what I would visit back home. I get dinner at one bar and it's dead. I finish up and move on.

The second bar is causally listed as a dive bar on Google Maps but when I get there, it's apparent that, although loaded with women, it's 90% lesbians. Not two sips into my first beer I lock eyes with one woman who is with a larger group of women. Queue eye game and she does not let up, not do I. So I smile, go over to her and start talking. She immediately asks if I'm gay (read past posts, this is a common question I get). I'm not, she say she is, not ideal but she gets real handsy real quick so I stay and keep chatting. Most other women in the bar are clearly lesbians by way of style, or are much older (and lesbians). She is conveniently the one woman in the bar I would even attempt to hit up and she's giving me all green social queues. Oh yeah, and she's Brazilian.

She suggests we hit up another gay bar, just her and I, so I agree and we hit the road. I drive so we took my car. I asked her if she's ever kissed a man, and yes she has. She's dated, had sex, etc with men but she prefers women. This is a good sign, she's not militant lesbian.

We drive the 12 minutes to the other bar. We were hoping for dancing but it's not very active. I suggest we stay for one drink though. So we do. She goes to the restroom and I strike up a conversation with the gay guys next to me. We talk about my home city and how I'm with a woman (they just assumed I was gay, I did not correct). My date comes back and she asks if I liked those guys. I said "meh" and causally played that I might be, but I prefer her. Queue going in for the kiss and I get it but I pull away immediately. I say "I don't want to be responsible for changing you're sexual orientation", she brushes it off and we go in for full makeout at the bar of the gay bar.

After the drink we hit the road and go back to my place. It comes out that she's in a relationship with a woman back in her home town who has decided to be "poly". She's very upset by this but understand that she cannot and should change her lover. She's on text the entire time at the bar, btw, an on the car ride to my airbnb, then, while we're stripping and I'm going down on her, she's talking to her girlfriend. She finally puts the phone down and we go at it and animals.

She had to work in the morning so she left the same night. She made the comment, "I find it hard to make sex with men because they treat women like objects". I don't really know, I wasn't listening. However, she was sexy and beautiful and I let her know it.

To summarize key points, for what it's worth, here is what I think. First of all, eye contact tells you everything. EVERYTHING. In the hookups I have had the eyes give away intention. And not in a subtle way, but in a hard, long, staring way that says "you better come here and talk to me" way. I'm not saying that prolonged eye contact = sex, but it conveys important details of interest and what you're allowed to do right off the start. This was a big deal for me because until I was about 29 I could not hold eye contact with people, I was shy and generally socially unaware. The second thought is that people are people, they are horny, they have trouble, and they want to feel listened to and feel comfortable. Sometimes a causal listening session can get a girl wet (I'm thinking back to a girl I hooked up with a year ago who just let the beans spill on her frustration with her family, 15 minutes later it was bunnies in the backseat). This girl was having relationship issues. She was actively texting her girlfriend in Portuguese, and although I don't speak Portuguese I do speak French and I could decipher most of her texts (which she assumed I couldn't). Her girlfriend, who is poly, encouraged her to pursue her heart and what makes her happy. God bless her girlfriend.

I've read most of the material on the sidebar and am a student of Seddit and other masculine positive blogs and sites. I can honestly say that I connected with this woman and she was beautiful. By having sex with her I did not diminish her, but together we become great for awhile. It is not a net zero game.

Peace, love, and happiness.