I've been working on improving my social and dating skills lately, and things have been difficult. But I've got a frame I use that I'm wondering if others have something similar.

If I succeed, as in I get a number, have sex, get a makeout session, etc. it feels really good. Great even.

Success nourishes the soul.

But if I text a girl that I thought we had hit it off and I get no reply, or I approach a girl and she responds with "that's really the best you got?", or have a result of any sort of "failure", I realize I actually learn a LOT more from the fuck ups then the successes.

Failure stimulates the mind.

And this growth can hurt, like a workout, but it's still good for me.

So this frame has helped me in the fact that I either succeed and it feels good, or fail and grow from it. I win either way. And this had helped me a lot with attaining outcome independence.