"I'm supposed to have a Ph.D. on the subject of women. But the truth is I've flunked more often than not. I'm very fond of women; I admire them. But, like all men, I don't understand them."

"For years I've nursed a secret desire to spend the Fourth of July in a double hammock with a swingin' redheaded broad ... but I could never find me a double hammock."

"You can be the most artistically perfect performer in the world, but an audience is like a broad--if you're indifferent, Endsville."

"Fear is the enemy of logic."

"The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything."

"Cock your hat - angles are attitudes."

"Throughout my career, if I have done anything, I have paid attention to every note and every word I sing - if I respect the song. If I cannot project this to a listener, I fail."

"You treat a lady like a dame, and a dame like a lady."

"People often remark that I'm pretty lucky. Luck is only important in so far as getting the chance to sell yourself at the right moment. After that, you've got to have talent and know how to use it."

(from Pal Joey)

WOMAN: ...I'm too much of a lady to say what for. My sister worked with you in Fresno. She told me all about you.

FRANK: Which one was she?

WOMAN: The one you didn't get to first base with.

FRANK: Oh, she was the ugly one. Must be twins.