http://www.hookingupsmart.com/2015/01/07/relationshipstrategies/we-are-all-settling

Tries to refute Rudder's adage "Don’t believe anything people say, watch what they do."

Hooking Up Smart says that "Don’t believe anything people say, watch what they do" implies either that people are liars or that they don’t know what they want (well, it may imply that people are lying to themselves.)

I disagree. I think this adage explains that people's partnering choices don't correlate with their self-assessment of what they want in a partner nearly as well as just assessing their behavior yourself and displaying the stimuli that correlates with their partnering behavior.

People can report the features they want in a partner, but what are the features correlated with their former partners? It seems unnecessarily abstract to develop features people report that they want in a partner filtered through their self-perception, when instead I can display the features that correlate with their actual partnering behavior.