hey reddit ! im new here but i’ve been lurking for a while now.

anyways, i’ll get into my current dilemma. i find that i care wayyy too much when it comes to relationships. in my middle school years, i was incredibly unattractive and stuck on this one girl (meaning i had a crush on her and didn’t want anyone but her, hence, no experience gained) so i didn’t date anyone due to how caught up on her i was. that’s another example of what i’m referring to, i think i care too much. i mean we weren’t even dating and i wanted to be exclusive for her.

it’s not about her though. a couple months back, i started talking to this girl. everything was going very well. instant chemistry, first it was just teasing then flirting and then eventually mutual interest. since a girl has never expressed genuine interest in me, i fell pretty hard for her. so we talked for a month and dated for about four months. things between us didn’t work out though.

we still talk to this day and still have feelings but unfortunately, we can’t be together. this is where i need advice. i feel like i care way too much. as soon as i hit the talking stage with this girl, there was no one else but her. i couldn’t find anyone else attractive and al i wanted was her.

i’m a sophomore in high school and whenever i talk to friends (usually upperclassmen) they talk about sex and relationships so casually like it comes and goes and it makes me feel weird because for some reason, it feels like i can’t do that casual shit they do.

but i do want to. i want to experience my high school years to the fullest instead. i just feel like i care too much. i see that my friends talk to multiple people at once and i wonder how they do it. how do they not get attached ?

i got incredibly attached to that girl i was with but she’s already moving on and it’s so hard for me to just notice other people. i’m a hopeless romantic kinda, i wrote love letters, love poems, and dedicated playlists alongside so many other things that make me feel like a fool now.

i’m a sixteen year old virgin. people find me attractive now and it’s still rather odd to me.

so how can i stop caring so much if that makes any sense ?