How do you escalate things while cuddling?

ShyDatingftw · 2020-12-13T11:18:25+00:00

Accidentally leave the whips and chains in the bed like “oops! Forgot about these! Teehee!”

J/K

Well, I have the same sort of “strategy” regardless of situation, if you can call it that. I don’t think that’s the right word but whatever.

If I’m with a girl, and I’m wanting that first kiss, I’ll take her by the hand and “pull” her closer to me. Except really, I’m not pulling her at all. My hand is closed over her hand, but when I pull I’m not forcing her. It’s like a very gentle pull, and if she wants to come close to me, she will. If not, well, I’m not forcing her so she won’t.

And if she comes close, I’ll put my hand behind her neck, and again, same thing, I’m “pulling” her to kiss me, but really, I’m not doing that at all. I’m not forcing her, and if she wants to kiss me, she will kiss me, and if not, she isn’t being forced at all.

And so the same goes with cuddling. I’ll slide my hands where I want to go, and if she doesn’t like it she can say no or stop me. If I want to take her shirt off, I’ll tug on her shirt but she has to take it off if she wants to. I’ll tug on her pants buttons, but I don’t undo them unless she does it. Or like, sometimes you will feel it. Some will say “reading her/reading her body” which to me sounds weird. If I tug on her pants buttons, and she like, moves her hips towards me in a “humping” fashion, like that’s pretty damn clear lol. You can feel transfer of sexual desire it’s all in the body and you’ll definitely know it.

So yea, and that’s how I go personally. I don’t really go straight for the sex either which I think is a terrible mistake. You should play with her. Guys get a hard dick and we can fuck instantly. Most girls can’t. Girls need to activate a fantasy in their mind, whereas guys all we need is a wet hole and we’re ready to go.

The way I think of a woman’s fantasy is like this. She wants to be an object. Not in the sense that you pick her up off the shelf, use her once and throw her away. As in, wham bam thank you ma’am.

She wants to be the object of your desire. She wants you to feel her up, she wants you to enjoy her flesh, she wants you to smell her and kiss her and touch her all over. She wants you to use her body for your own pleasure. And in my head, that takes time. Personally I don’t want to strip her clothes off and fuck her for 1 minute and bounce. And she doesn’t want that either. In her mind, sex is more than just a 1 minute fuck. And many many guys really think that’s what sex is, and how sad that is. They really are screening themselves lol.

So yea, just push things slowly. Turn her on. Raise the heat slowly. Explore her body and enjoy her. Don’t rush to sex and cum in 1 minute. It’ll be better if you take it slow.

Sorry for the rant. I can’t help but type too much. I always do.

elizabethellens · 2020-12-13T17:03:18+00:00

So in my opinion (21 F) the best way for a guy to initiate sex while we’re cuddling is to heat things up with a makeout session, putting his hands all over me, etc. then when it’s getting heated to kiss a trail down my body to my lower stomach and stop and look up and ask if it’s okay if he continues. Once had an ex bf do this and he said “May I?” It was the hotttest thing ever. Good luck man, just remember to communicate clearly with your partner, because consent is sexy, and the only way to go

brabus4 · 2020-12-13T11:18:30+00:00

Gently Stroke their hair/face. Maybe pull them in a little towards you so they snuggle on your chest. At this point you can just go in for the kiss.

VanillaGnomes · 2020-12-14T04:59:22+00:00

I feel like the lack of advice around consent is an issue. Just ask dude! Think about specifically what you would LIKE to do, such as go down on her, suck on her melons, fingering or rubbing etc. Then once kissing and touching, escalate it a bit more with removal of clothes or as mentioned above, but ask. Ive been with several guys who aren't too sure what the go is, and that's okay. If you're unsure, just ask, "hey goddess, can I worship your melons?"

Maybe with different words but you get my drift

rickmackdaddy · 2020-12-13T11:36:45+00:00

Escalating touch. Hand on her. Hand moving a little, rubbing gently and slowly, fingertips only. Hand moving more. Hands exploring new places while coming to the start...

STD_Tyler · 2020-12-13T12:20:08+00:00

Cuddling then kissing...duh?

brabus4 · 2020-12-13T12:38:39+00:00

You still kind of have to make the moves. They won't just initiate sex most of the time. You will do it and they can reciprocate. Simple. Just keep going forward, and if they don't stop you or don't say no they're into it as much as you are

2020-12-13T19:40:01+00:00

SO as some else said you need to start taking clothes off in a calibrated way.

Title	How do you escalate things while cuddling?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	13
Comments	35
Date	December 13, 2020 10:55 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/kc8piz/how_do_you_escalate_things_while_cuddling/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-escalate-things-while-cuddling.1507039 https://theredarchive.com/post/1507039

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