How do you handle being set up?

Typeowl · 2011-04-17T04:28:06+00:00

Ran into this situation today. I was invited to go out to see movies with my friend, his girlfriend and her friend. It sounded like a setup from the beginning, making me uneasy about going - but he kept denying and insisting until I decided to join. I figured I'd probably get some fun out of it either way. Pretty soon into the night, as we sat around the mall, in the theater, etc., it was obvious I was expected to mingle a bit and get friendly with her (received messages from friend's gf to initiate conversation). I'm a sociable guy, and planned to talk to her regardless, but the pressure threw me off a bit and I delayed initiating anything.

At this particular point, we're sitting in the theater waiting for the movie to begin - but we have at least 30 minutes to burn. We naturally divided up into couples sitting side by side, with my friend and his girlfriend paying a lot of attention to each other. I've got three messages from friend's girlfriend telling me to say something to her. Again, this was making a little feel a little awkward and frankly a bit annoyed - but I eventually came around and dropped my opener . .

I took my phone, leaned in close to her and briefly showed her the message as I whispered "They're dying to get me to talk to you," comfortable and smiling, " - Though I'm not quite sure what to say. But we're cool okay?" Finishing with a smile and an easy laugh. Nothing great, but I sold it by being cool and upbeat about it. She smiled, laughed, and whispered back, "Okay!" So I put some tension at ease, good.

As things went on, she quickly began speaking to me now that the lane was clear. We talked a lot during the movie, commenting on it and bugging each other in a flirty way. Good vibes. By the end of the movie we were pretty comfortable and a handful of times she tried scaring me while I was distracted by the movie (we were watching Scream 4), so I could tell she was feeling at a good enough level to get in my space a bit. As a group we ended up going to a second movie and this time around me and her were had a bit more flirting going on and there was great deal of kino floating around too.

I kept it at a simple level most of the night, not going much further than the flirting and kino. She was really into me, but I made it known the feeling was pretty mutual. In retrospect I'm amazed how far I got without even trying that hard. Closed the night with a hug and that was that. Next meet-up I'll probably take it further.

........................................................................

My advice is just to be relaxed and open, not really acknowledging too much that there's a setup. I don't what else to say, I suppose you just need to treat it like a normal confrontation. Be friendly, create an opening for the two of you to be comfortable - once you do you have your options in front of you. I chose to keep it simple and friendly for the next meetup, keeping myself from any obligation to phone her, meetup with her etc.

Shit, that was long. But I hope it helps or at least entertained.

etherspirit · 2011-04-19T08:52:01+00:00

I just got setup on a blind date a couple months ago.... I say, go with it! There's nothing to lose, just make it fun for yourself and the girl. She's a friend of a friend, so treat her nice, and remember, she also has to treat you nice. It's awkward for both of you, so make fun of the awkwardness as a start, and it'll be fine. The most likely outcome is that you'll both have fun, but nothing more. Most unlikely is that you'll end up loving or hating each other, but you never know. In the end it's probably going to be more entertaining for your friends than the parties involved.

Title	How do you handle being set up?
Author	geenomike
Upvotes	3
Comments	5
Date	April 16, 2011 11:10 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/grqaw/how_do_you_handle_being_set_up/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-handle-being-set-up.1317448 https://theredarchive.com/post/1317448

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