Theorem #2 We’re all dorks at heart When you get to know somebody, you’ll find out that we’re all dorks at heart. When you allow yourselves to act like two dorks before you’re even in a relationship with her, it relaxes her and makes her feel like you’re already together.

Seasons 2 and 3 with Jim & Pam from the show “the office” (American version) will show you how you can create a fun you two vs. the world feeling. Create missions where you two are plotting different pranks against others, or missions where you want to get that gum back in style (Twin Peaks reference). Missions are probably the best, if you can get her on a mission, you can make a girl do anything. Anything. As long as you two already connect on it. The missions doesn’t have to be real, of course

Teach the woman the “help me brother” signs. If for example she’s talking to a drunk and she wants you to save her, all she has to do is cross her arms and you can come to the rescue. You can talk about what her nemesis is. Someone or something she really hates and you can help her get the revenge. Maybe you hate the Jersey show and you can talk shit about it. Use honesty: “Don’t worry, I’m only gonna call you like ten times a day”, it will let her know that you’ll call her, but she’ll figure out it’s not going to really be ten times a day.

Stereotyping: You can stereotype girls that go to soccer practice. “Are you guys lesbians?” Go back to that joke later on. Exaggerating things, for example that Italians are always talking with their hands (there’s even a joke somewhere on the internet about it). If the girl is from a certain part of a country where hillbillies are…you have a lot of material right there. Imitating her accent is something girls will love. If it’s good natured and fun you can get away with imitating her, so be careful with that one. All the girls will be like “You’re so bad” and you’re doing all of this just because of this post…oh wait  You can create your own catchphrases that you two can accustom yourselves to. Mine is “Aaaah, I don’t know” , because I’m dumb…awkward silence………

You’re talking to a girl and she mentions that she has a girlfriend. Misinterpret this by asking her “Do you have more girlfriends? Don’t they get jealous on one another?”

If she says she needs a drink…tell her the most crazy story you can think of how she’s the worse drunkard in the world. This is absurdity at its’ finest. The best is when you can actually continue it and make the absurdity last. Test their gullibility. “I have to be honest with her. I’m actually a voice-over for porn movies.” The more shocked she is, the more interested she is in you. Girls really like to be bullshitted by guys lol.

Complete her own sentences. This if you’re a fast thinker, it’s a great way to make the conversation engaging. Act like you missed the whole point of her story. If she’s talking about something, ask her to explain what it means, play dumb (I don’t have to play dumb, I am….stop it with the deprecating humor, JJ!)

Verbal escalation. There was one time I didn’t want to meet one of my friends that day so the plan was to postpone it until the next 3 years. I would do it gradually though. A conversation like this would be. “Hey JJ, can I call you at 12?” “I’m eating at 12” “Ok, how about after an hour?” “I’m busy today” “OK.” “Maybe next week, I’ll be freer.” ”Next week??” “Sorry, I wanted to say next year” etc.

Talk to yourself: “Note to self, be careful when talking to blond blue-eyed girls”. The girl you’re talking to is blond and blue-eyed.