How To Do Your First Approach

There are 2 parts to every approach: having something to say to start the conversation and getting yourself in front of the girl/girls.

Conversation starters are what we call "openers". What you say to open will vary based on the context of the approach.

There are 4 types of openers to use:

1) Indirect: asking for advice, direction, opinions, or help figuring something out. Ex. "Do you know a good pizzeria around here?"

2) Situational: pointing out something in the environment that both of you witness or experience, including something she is doing or has on. Ex. You and her are in a subway tunnel where a drunk guy is dancing. You make bewildered eye contact with her, she laughs, you make a joke about it, "Did happy hour start already? Why didn't anyone tell us??" and start talking.

3) Direct: telling her you like her or something about her upfront. Ex. "You're easily the most radiant woman I've seen all day..."

4) Neutral/Intrigue: also can be directed at her, but is more ambiguous and murky in meaning. Ex. "You have an interesting look..."

Put Yourself In Front of Her

Take a look and reflect on the situations where you see the most women you would like to approach, and devise a opener and a method that gives you a chance to use it. By experience, most guys see girls either walking around or sitting down somewhere, so that's what we'll use as a template.

If she's walking, you can stop her in front of you (a slow, gradual stop, getting her attention AS SOON as you see you'd like to meet her, she should be 2 to 3 feet in front of you), you can side stop her (2 options here: either Justin Wayne style where you're walking nearly shoulder to shoulder with her, tap her nearest shoulder with your far hand, point in the opposite direction of where she's walking with your other hand and talk as usual, OR walk slightly ahead of her when you open and start talking, as she engages then you slow your walk and eventually stop with her doing the same). You can just walk and talk with her but that can feel intrusive if done at the wrong time, so beginners should stick to those two.

If she's sitting somewhere, you can either walk straight up to her or play it off like you're walking past and then double back.

A rule for opening is that you want to seem as natural and un-contrived as possible, so it's best to choose your opener and method of approach to aid this.

Social VS Non-Social Environments

It's best to take a friendly, "assuming familiarity" approach in social places, because socializing is the norm there, Neutral-intrigue or situational openers work best under these conditions. In non-social places, you'll need to ease into socializing more because people are not there to talk to or meet other people. Indirect is very useful for doing exactly that ;however, you can also make neutral-intrigue or situational openers work here too.