Now before you say in a terrible person for wanting to do this, read the whole post.

We were in band together, which starts a month before school, and that’s when I started to like her. She had a boyfriend at the time so I wasn’t going to try to act on my feelings, but a few days before band camp ended I heard her tell someone that she broke up with him.  Homecoming was the second week and I decided I liked her enough to ask her (never asked anyone before). The same day I was planning on asking her, a freshman asked her first. She had told me before that she doesn’t like him, not even as a person, and she had even run to me multiple times to get me to help her get away from him. But she doesn’t like to hurt people’s feelings so she said yes. Meanwhile, her ex didn’t take the break up well and tried to kidnap her. Literally. During the first football game no one was sure where he was so she asked me to stay near her on our way back to the buses just in case he showed up.  I guess she felt safe when she was near me.  Her homecoming date was there too, but she kind of tried to stay away from him also.  They dated for a few weeks and during that time she invited me to the movies with some of her friends. It ended up being me, her, her best friend, and her best friend’s boyfriend. Anyway, her date ended up cheating on her and she dumped him.

Later that day (it was at a band competition) she asked me if I liked anyone and of course I liked her, more than I had liked anyone else before. But there were other people around and I had never told anybody I liked them before so I avoided the question. She and others kept pestering me though, and she left the contest with her mom instead of riding the buses so we texted most of the way back to DFW from Austin.  I told her that the answer to her question was yes and I would answer yes or no questions about who she is.  She narrowed it down to someone in high brass (we both played French horn) before I got too nervous and stopped answering, even though she already knew it was her. About a month later I finally got the courage to tell her I liked her. That same day I found out that she liked someone else, but I decided that if I didn’t tell her now then I never would, so I told her anyway. She said stuff like “Awwww! You’re so sweet! You’re my sweetest friend!” Then avoided me for a week until I texted her to say sorry and that I wasn’t going to try to steal her from her crush. A few weeks later a bunch of us went to a haunted house, including her and her new boyfriend. She tried to get near me in some of the areas because she felt safe near me. He ended up not being a good guy either and she dumped him too.

We kept talking all this time and stayed close. Over Christmas and Thanksgiving we saw each other, and I was invited to her birthday party (for just her family) and I met her whole extended family. Her parents are divorced so she had a party with her whole family (family only plus her best friend who is basically a part of her family), with her mom and her friends and their kids who she’s friends with, and with her dad and some friends from school. I was the only one invited to all three parties; her boyfriend wasn't. We also went to another haunted house around November or December, just the two of us and her dad and stepmom. We went into the haunted house by ourselves and she kept getting scared so I reached out my hand to hold hers but she never took it. The week after Christmas she latched onto a guy she had never met before and they’ve now been dating a year. In the middle of that though was a band trip and we got closer than ever (nothing physical). Every time we saw each other we had a smile on our faces.  I had to go to Illinois right after the trip and she constantly texted me saying that she missed me and couldn’t wait until I got back. She later told me that she thought about leaving him for me but didn’t think that was fair to him. I was surprised by this and thought about telling her that if she wanted I would wait for her because she was honestly one of the best things to ever happen to me, if not the best: I would always feel so happy when I even heard her name, and she could always cheer me up and make me smile. What makes it worse is that he is a terrible person: he’s one of the biggest assholes I’ve ever met (he openly admits that to everyone) and he looks like a giant, fat mouse with acne.

She deserves much better than him. I'm not saying that's me necessarily, I'm just saying that he has done nothing to have earned her. (Earned is the wrong word but I can't think of the right one.)