I read everything on here(inner game, etc.)

Sometimes I am totally on. I have been doing a wonderful job these past two weeks. Kclose and 2nd base 2 weeks ago, # close the day after(a different girl), kiss close and # close last friday(another girl), and 3rd base with a girl this past monday. I have another date with this girl tomorrow(Fclose hopefully but I dont know..)

This is the best I did my whole life. Everything I learned is internalizing. I felt on top of the world. I go out this friday. I crash and burn. I revert back to my old self. I can't even recognize who i was this past 2 weeks. Where did that guy go?

I am back in my head. Worried about my height and race despite disproving my beliefs these past two weeks. What happened?

I can't let go. In the midst of the fire and chaos of all the beautiful woman around me I collapsed internally. My friend talked to me for about 10 minutes that he expects better and that he knows I can do so much better. The WORST part is even I KNOW that I can do better and that whatever I was feeling was fake. But I couldn't let go despite knowing the ridiculousness of my state. I close in more.

WTF?

How do I let go? How do I go with the flow? Carefree and with nature..