You know what you want to do, it has been running through your head for days now. You can't do it. Well truth be told you won't do it, despite the fact that you want to do it so much it is torturing you. Desire turns to frustration, frustration turns to anger and from the outside no one could tell - because all that anger is turned inwards. You hate yourself. The self loathing there wasn't at first but as you have fought with your own mind endlessly slowly you have twisted and realised that if you weren't such a insert choice adjective here you'd be able to do it, but you won't do it, therefore that proves you are whatever negative thoughts swirl in your mind.

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Here is how you change that. Don't think about how much you want to do it, you already know that. Cut off negative thoughts as soon as you recognise them, worst case scenario you really are what your negative thoughts tell, you already know that. What should you be doing instead? You need to be decisive - but me saying that is me telling you where to go without telling you how to get there, and you already know where you want to go.

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So when the battle in your mind begins, as you see whatever it is you are chasing - think through how you will get there, how will you do what you have to do, imagine every step of the scenario as vividly as possible. Everything from the smell of her hair, to the colour of her nail polish, to the type of shoes she is wearing. Go ahead do that now, trust me. But where have you met her, in this case it is just you two in an elevator. She is a perfect 10 and you know how much you will hate yourself and those evil twisted thoughts of regret will rip you apart if you don't do it. In the brushed metallic surface of the elevator walls you can make out a rough reflection and her eyes dart to yours, maybe, it is rough and fuck she just looked at you you're 90% sure. Slowly the elevator is heading to it's destination the clock is definitely ticking, but what if you mess up? You're locked in a box with her nowhere to run. It'd be safer to not say anything at all. Yes. With a ping the doors open and she gets out and it is just you in the box with your thoughts. What are you thinking?

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Let's go back to when you two first stepped in at the ground floor, like groundhog day you know how much you will regret it if you say nothing. In fact that isn't imaginary at all, you see girls you want to talk to all the time, say nothing and end up kicking yourself. You turn just your upper body towards her but with your nerves the movement comes out robotic she glances towards you and as a knot ties itself in your stomach and you feel you will puke, you turn the other way and do a bad job of pretending you were just stretching your back. Ping.

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You step into the elevator again. This time you know that you have to say something. Watching the rough reflection you see she is trying to look busy on her phone. Fuck it you turn and say "uh hi I just wanted to say you're cute" she looks at you and shuffles on her feet a bit. You can feel your cheeks burning with embarrassment and sweat breaking out on the back of your neck. "Thanks. I have a boyfriend." Then she presses the button for the next floor to get out early. Rough. Ping.

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This time you step in and think. Okay, what would some cool say? The process repeats itself and you say "hey I have a question for you." She looks at you and says "I have a boyfriend." But you have run through this in your head before, you have done this before "That's awesome and I have a question." The conversation actually goes well but as it turns out she really does have a boyfriend. Ping. She leaves but for the rest of the day you aren't tortured by thoughts, instead you're glad you did it.

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Believe it or not just imagining a scenario that causes you anxiety has been shown to reduce your physical fear response and your fear of the situation that triggers those fears. That isn't broscience by the way that is real science. The key is to imagine the scenario in detail and try to trigger and imagine the physical response you have e.g. blushing or sick in the stomach. Another redditor in the thread "side effects of seduction" said "just imagining approaching makes being social easier" and he was right, that is a thing. Obviously actually approaching will reduce that fear quicker, but if you hit a wall on the approach, or going for the kiss or whatever, you will have to try eventually but running yourself through it mentally can help you to take the first leap.