How to stop being a "Nice Guy" (5 easy steps)

ClassyMuthaFucker · 2017-10-02T23:37:04+00:00

Alright, so I started watching this out of curiosity, but I was already not enjoying the video before he mentioned the first point, so let me summarize with my own take on it.

1: Ask for what you want. The example he gives is with a girl, instead of buying flowers or doing nice things to get her attention, directly ask "Do you want to hang out with me?"

Any true Sedditer knows you wouldn't ask because Alphas don't ask. They command. "Let's hang out." I don't ask my friends if they want to hang out, I tell them we are and at this time and then we figure out the time and place. Overall, I can see where he was going with this and I'll agree doing this makes you less of a nice guy than someone that doesn't do this and buys the flowers for the girl hoping to get her attention. But the execution, which is vital, got glossed over in the vid.

2: Put yourself first. Be less selfish. Claim your time as yours to do what you want and get what you want and not to do what you don't. I agree with this point and it's something I think nice guys (and former nice guys such as myself) can relate to. Having a hard time saying no to other people isn't necessarily limited to Seddit because it doesn't necessarily deal with women. If it's something that you don't want to do and don't need to do, don't do it. I was one of the last people left at a party recently and then a guy who lives in the house, a girl that lives there and her 2 orbiters start cleaning up. Normally, helping other people is not a bother to me, but I just told them “Hey, I'm gonna leave because I know I'm not gonna be productive”. Everyone found the honesty refreshing and they laughed, I said my goodbyes and I left. I had no reason to make an effort to help these people that I'm never going to see again (other than Dharma), but I can guarantee I left more of an impression on everyone there (including the girl) by being the only guy that said ‘No, I'm not gonna help you’ than the'just friends' who gave up an hour or two of their lives to pick up a house that isn't even theirs.

3: Stop relying on people's approval. I would expand this to stop seeking external validation in general and learn to be self-confident, because when you're not confident within yourself is when you would rely on the approval of others the most. I can break this down by mentioning (as I have in the past) that there are 2 different types of confidence: the type that comes from having a big dick, a big bank account, a fast car and an expensive outfit, and the type that comes when you learn to truly love yourself inspite of your flaws. I consider the latter to be the true form of confidence because once you learn to love yourself inspite of everything, nothing anyone says to you can phase you. When your confidence comes from having the nicest car in the parking lot and the biggest dick in the building, what happens when you go outside and see a guy piping a Victoria's Secret model with a metre stick inside his Bentley? The reliance of material forms of success/ comfort/ approval/ whatever is flawed because you rely on materials and materials get lost, stolen, spent, taken, broken etc. If you had everything taken from you and had to start a new life in a different country, who would you be without your possessions? The guy with nothing, or the guy that has himself and knows that's all he needs?

4: Face your fears. This times infinity. Guy from video makes a “joke" [just a misdirection] in front of a lot of people because he admits it scares him. We are socially programmed to be afraid of making ‘fools’ out ourselves as situations like this would. In the context of general seduction, it would be approach in spite of approach anxiety. Put your arm around her when you're not 100% sure she's ready for it yet. Test her limits and expand yours. But I believe this is just a good piece of advice for anyone and any number of circumstances; it's not just limited to seduction. I was afraid of rollercoasters because I had a traumatic experience on the Woody Woodpecker rollercoaster when I was very little. Last year, I went to Disney and rode every motherfucking ride. Does that mean I'm not still afraid of rollercoasters? No, I still have that fear (though in a diminished capacity). But the bravest man is not the man who fears nothing, but rather the man who can face his fears.

5: Be brutally honest. I don't know what can be said about this because it seems so straightforward. Be honest even when it's hard to be honest. In the context of life and seduction, I tried this and have found that it is simply impossible for me to be brutally honest 100% of the time. What happens when your boss wants your honest opinion about himself and your honest opinion is “You're a dickhead that can't grasp basic concepts and it's a shame I have to work for someone I consider inferior to me in every way”. What if you're doing your buddy a solid and you're taking the grenade and she says something controversial you disagree with on every level and your two options are agree with her, keep the peace and let your buddy mac the hot one or state your honest opinion, have her throw a shit show, grab her friend and walk away. You could choose to lose your job and be a bad wingman, but lies are convenient and that's why they're so prevalent. I'm not telling you to lie, I'm just reminding you not to beat yourself up if you're not 100% brutally honest all the time, because it's fucking hard.

As always, take these points not as absolutes, but as advice for 99% of the situations you'll be in. You'll probably be a more happy individual by letting these 5 principles guide you rather than by not following them.

Sweenard · 2017-10-02T22:41:29+00:00

Basically don’t be a bitch

Wheysteve · 2017-10-03T04:02:54+00:00

Love Davids videos (how to beast) I highly recommend to check them out.

Title	How to stop being a "Nice Guy" (5 easy steps)
Author	delasjefe
Upvotes	76
Comments	5
Date	October 2, 2017 2:40 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/73t5ro/how_to_stop_being_a_nice_guy_5_easy_steps/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-stop-being-a-nice-guy-5-easy-steps.1434656 https://theredarchive.com/post/1434656

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