Time to take my frustration to reddit! I'm just trying to get some opinions or recommendations on my current dilemma. (Also posted this on r/sex but maybe y'all are better experts on this subject)

I have never had the greatest luck having sex. I didn't lose my virginity until a month after I turned 21, and I only had my first kiss a month before that (both events happened with the same girl). I had a relationship with that girl for about 10 months, and then she dumped me on the first day of my senior year of college. I felt on top of the world when I was with her, but I foolishly never told her that I loved her even though, in hindsight, I think I did. Aside from that, we never fought and got along well together. I then spent a few months depressed about the break up.

Since the break-up, I've only had a few hookups every few months. In total I've slept with 6 women. I don't particularly enjoy the hookups, and I didn't find some of my hookups to be attractive. Right now I'm on a four month dry spell, which is almost as long as my longest dry spell of 5 months. I've had a decent number of dates since the breakup, but they weren't great (one was with a Mormon girl from tinder, who never mentioned on tinder that she was Mormon/looking for marriage/celibate).

I just want to have enjoyable sex again, preferably with a nice girl and on a regular basis. I haven't had a blowjob in over a year and I don't enjoy masturbating anymore. I almost feel like a virgin again. I'd like to have a girlfriend and intimacy again (and experience romantic love for once), but I'm also afraid of it. I never felt so worthless and unattractive than when my ex dumped me. I don't want to invest my time and energy building a relationship with another woman just to get dumped and feel like crap again.

So put yourself out there!? I'm trying. I don't get many matches on the typical dating apps (Tinder, bumble, okcupid) and that's how I've met almost all of my sexual partners. I'm a little shy at the bars and have never brought any girls home from them. I'm living and working in NYC, and I thought I'd have much better luck finding a compatible woman here.

Appearance-wise I'm okay. I think I'm handsome, but I have just a little bit of fat on my chin/face that gives me a baby face look, and a little beer belly that's hides well. I'm almost 6 feet tall and I'm clean cut (can't grow a beard). I don't have much muscle though and my arms are undefined. But I've been working out, losing weight, and gaining muscle since I graduated from college earlier this year. I'm a respectable guy, did well in school (maybe a little on the nerdy side), and now I'm making a great salary with a great job.

Reddit, what should I do? I feel too jaded by my past bad experiences to date again. I don't want to waste my time on girls who don't care about me. Although I don't have many women too interested in me to begin with. But I want a girlfriend, intimacy, and good sex again. Any advice?