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I cant beat oneitis...

KingOfBongoz · 2014-10-10T01:33:42+00:00

i just cant... i try to talk with girls and for some reason, if i think shes someone who i can establish a relationship i fail!, i just dont know what happen...

KingOfBongoz

October 10, 2014

4 upvotes

/r/seduction

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Post Information

Title	I cant beat oneitis...
Author	KingOfBongoz
Upvotes	4
Comments	11
Date	October 10, 2014 1:33 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2ite6s/i_cant_beat_oneitis/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-cant-beat-oneitis.1377783 https://theredarchive.com/post/1377783

Comments

[–]Lead ModeratorThrowawayPUA 3 points4 points5 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]KingOfBongoz[S] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]TriedToFixCrazy 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]KingOfBongoz[S] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]TriedToFixCrazy 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]KingOfBongoz[S] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]TriedToFixCrazy 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

you don't have anything except a self fulfilling prophecy

turn into another person is what actors do. Why you gotta act?

"at the moment that i start having feelings for the girl" is WHEN you start acting, BUT WHY DO YOU CHANGE?

The person she liked was "normal" you, but as soon as you start having feelings you start trying to "look for clues" about how to manipulate her into liking you.Then you gotta "act" a certain way to fool her into thinking you know about her "clues" when you don't. It's like trying to fake being a car mechanic just because you carry a wrench in your pocket.

Seems like you can't keep your "almost lies" straight, your cool story straight and your "look" is not sending the signals you think SHE is looking for.

I blame those stupid "how to be a player" videos here. You are so busy with the notion of you liking her, you stop seeing her as a human. How do you talk to an objectified doll? You don't, that's what you make them.

By the way, how are your feelings that intense anyway? Try calming your whole life down a notch.

[–]KingOfBongoz[S] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]TriedToFixCrazy 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

what happens is you project onto her, the whole darn romance fairytale. Who can live up to that crushing weight?

If you think she is a princess and you are only pretending to be a prince, how would you know what a real prince would say / do? You don't, therefore you shut down amid little half lies and not quite true stuff you make up in order to maintain the illusion you are a prince.

Well, you ARE a prince, in that you are a unique human, therefore soveregin in your own body. But guess what? Give a girl the power to tell you if you are a prince or not gives her power over your body, which fails because she isn't giving you the "signal" you are looking for. Surely, if you were a prince, she would treat you like one, right? But she doesn't, so you crash and burn in your false personality, sad she never saw the real you.

Who is the real you, by the way? Are you more interested in having fun than in a long term relationship? Maybe you self sabotage because you realize having fun is more important to you, though you don't realize it.

[–]KingOfBongoz[S] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]TriedToFixCrazy 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

ah,

what you want is to not have to come back here to post about what to do in a shitty relationship

lots of pressure there. Immediate expectations of her perfection and you knowing all your flaws, assuming she knows too. Damn the media and Hollywood too for all their stories about how "real" love is supposed to be.

Only practical advice I can give, when you get "feelings" for a girl, try to see her from the other side of 20 years from now. Try to see yourself as the older you who is not "OMG!!!!!!!!!!She might think I am better than other human beings whom she has a choice to be around! Being with me gives her pleasure! Her pleasure pleases me! I have just been pleasured in my mind, so maybe I can get her to touch my pee pee one day! How can I force her to like me without EVER revealing ANY of my flaws? It doesn't matter if she has flaws because I'll just be soooo understanding and such a good boyfriend!"

People fool themselves all the time. Again, go outside your "Comfort" zone for attractiveness. Some humble chicks clean up real good.