OK so first of all its really hard for me to write this (its my 5th attempt to put to words what i'm feeling). I think that success has spoiled me. I'm interesting, rather good looking and pretty rich. But i wish i was not... i want something to fight for in my life! I already have almost everything i wanted. I'm only 20 still go to school but i have 2 sound engineering diplomas and recently finished my bachelor, I am drummer in 6 bands, have my own apartment, a nice car and i have sex regularly. But its just the same shit every fucking day... i came to hate all this useless one night stands! i dont even know the name of some of the girls i slept with the last 3 months and im sick of it. i want a serious relationship, but i have a small drinking problem, and when i drink i tend to spend the night with some dumb chick again instead of getting to know someone nice. my other problem is that i have a problem when it comes down to talking about love, the future and stuff like that. i just cant talk about it. Hell i cant even say i love you to my own mother. My theory is that i want a different goal in my life to achieve instead of facing the drinking and the talking problem. I hope you get what i mean its quite hard for me to describe that feeling...