I need outside opinon.

TheXXL · 2016-03-16T13:54:57+00:00

I know I'm good looking (honestly not trying to be stuck up, I've just heard it from everyone my whole life)

That might turn out to be a problem, since people who hear that all their lives, tend to get really arrogant, which of course no one really likes.

They're hit or miss, and I mean extremes here, either they are practically drooling or don't even see me,

You mean when you approach? Or do you sit on your hands waiting for them to come?

Why do I over analyse everything?

Probably low confidence.

I end up judging girls right off the bat,

Well, there we have a no go for women. No woman wants to be judged, and this way you become a "no go" for them.

I have a high sense of self worth and with what I've gone through the past 4 years I want a girl that is worthy of that. Am I bad for thinking that way?

Not exactly bad, it is the best to look for the best partner you can get, but the problem starts when you believe you have more worth than you actually have.

But I see these kids who I graduated with and have done nothing with their lives, I mean not even started college getting these girls,

There it is again, judgment.

I don't even have my own place yet. It's such a bad feeling working up the ladder in the military, earning your own place, just to leave and be right back to where I was in HS. It's just killed my self confidence, and I don't want to go into college still living at home.

Think of it this way: Do you have the persistence to get somewhere? Work your way up to what you desire? If you say yes to both of my questions you only need some patience, and of course the hard work that comes with it.

The first thing you should work on is your personal well being, like getting your own place. Only then, you should actively pursue women, or at least not put too much energy into that. This way you will get confident, you will know what you have achieved and this makes you sexy to women. Also, stop being judgmental. no one likes to be judged, for instance i could tell you what i think about the military (especially military personnel), and it would imply that i judge you for being one of them, but the truth is, i have no idea who you are, no idea why you went to the military not even what you have experienced, and if i would meet you, i would keep an open mind and hear your story before i get to conclusions. This is what you should do, always keep an open mind, never judge, since who are you to judge anyways?

And of course, reevaluate your worth system, what is it you look for in a partner? What do you bring to the table, except for something very very very common: "looking good"? Just a hint, i have heard that from so many women in my life, that good looks are only good for the initial attention, and even if your looks are the best, and you stick out like a clown at a funeral, women expect more than just that. They look for things like confidence, being well spoken, humor, life experience, strength (mentally and physical), intelligence etc. Those are just a few things that i personally have learned from different women, and of course you don't need all of it, but if you only got one thing, it might be not enough for most women.

Last but not least: read the sidebar, there is some really nice material to get started.

Big_TX · 2016-03-16T19:08:58+00:00

Can't you use the GI bill? And don't you have money saved up? Or did you have to pay rent with your salary? That should help you move out. Also if imagen there are a lot of military scholarships. Additionally you can go to community college. Get good grades, become an officer in phi theta kappa (it's an honor society not a frat) you will save money going to community college and you should get a good schooler ship form phi theta kappa if you are an officer. (If I could do it over again that's what I'd do)

I have no idea where you stand in this continuum. Nothing I say will be directed at you:

No offense but if you really are at square one I don't see how you you are better than everyone els. Your just for years behind.

Here are some potential easy fixes you sound like you are pretty good you just might be shooting yourself in the foot:

You sound like a broken record only thinking about one thing.
you build no emotional connection.
you expect too much of girls and this intimidating/not fun/not how they are willing to live there life.

Now This is assuming you just aren't that good at relationships/pickup:

You going to have to lower your standards to below the cream of the crop. you put in a lot of work, but in a totally different field so you can't just transfer that and expect the best women. It's like Mark Wahlberg in the movie Pain and Gain when he is looking at how jacks he is and think Ingrid of how much work he put in and is really frustrated that he isn't rich. But the work he did and the sacrifeses he made weren't for getting rich. It's like running a Marathon And being bummed you don't have software written. If you wanted to make software you should have made it instead of running the Marathon.

If you are starting form an early stage in game (I relay don't know how you are) you will have to work on it before you can get the cream of the crop. You aren't on the level of her options. dating you will be at the expense of dating someone els.

So you will have to be able to have a fun time and form a connection and just be good at dating.

There is a saying "you have to slay s few Dragons before you can save the princess" that is absolutely an exaggeration. But the principle is accurate.

If a noobie got an amazing 10/10 girl with was funny and a kind sole with a strong integrity and who is positive, he would not know that to to do, and would be insecure and what not.

It sounds like you have a very big ego and that all of your confidence is based off your ego. Your confidence has lowered now because you were pridefull of being in the military, being independent, and I feel like you were good at the military too. And now you feel like you are at square one so that is a blow to your pride. Additionally most people want to believe they are good at having a girlfriends. Most people don't what to let that part of their self image be compromised. Biased off your comment, it sounds like you are scared of success because it is new waters. And you don't want to lower your self image. You don't want to land a girl then it fall apart in the dating process. You ego is holding your back. You have to push through it and learn. You may rise to the occasion the first time, or it may take A few tries but you will get there eventually. And let me tell you! Once you get the dating process down, talking to girls initially is SOOO much easer. Because you KNOW what you have to offer, instead of wanting the girl wile fearing the new waters and paraying everything goes well. AND once you have that, you can approach with booth feet into the gass inserted of one foot in the gas and one on the break (like most people)

mad-n-fla · 2016-03-16T16:33:22+00:00

Get new friends first, or go solo for a while.

Go grocery shopping, and to libraries to meet women.

Asking for the woman's help or her opinion on something trivial to start a conversation is my go to.

sorcererbro · 2016-03-17T08:21:25+00:00

You don't sound confident to me. You sound arrogant and likely dickish.

A boulder is confident. It doesn't resist when you push it; it doesn't need to. It doesn't judge you for trying, it doesn't rub it in your face if you fail, and it doesn't care if you succeed. You can't move it.

Title	I need outside opinon.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	9
Comments	7
Date	March 16, 2016 1:27 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4ans2r/i_need_outside_opinon/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-need-outside-opinon.1404091 https://theredarchive.com/post/1404091

Comments