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[–]apathetichearts 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I’m not a big texting person and I’m super busy. I tend to date people who are the same or who at least get it. I prefer to just see someone in person. You don’t have to text her a bunch if she’s not responding but I wouldn’t resort to being petty and getting into that tit for tat crap, it’s immature. Have you actually had a conversation in person about what you both want in a relationship? Sounds like she may just want to casually see you for now. I think you two need to get on the same page that way if she’s not ready for a relationship and you’re not willing to wait then you can move on.
[–]MindlessSomewhere3 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
The first week I got her number she actually ghosted me when I asked her out on a date. Saw her unexpectedly a week later and she came up to me and apologized saying that it was bad timing but she wants to give it a go with me cause she likes me. So we texted and hung out numerous more times after that. The texting was pretty consistent, light, and flirty. I avoided ever having the relationship talk with her though because I got the vibe that she wanted to take things slow and I didn’t want to scare her off. However after we slept together and cuddled and had a great night, she suddenly pulls away and randomly texts me less and bailed on our plans without any text rescheduling. Like I said she also took forever reply to my last 2 texts which pissed me off so that’s why it’s been 3 days and I still haven’t responded to her last text. Idk if I will. What are your thoughts with this context?
[–]apathetichearts 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, you two need to get on the same page. Because you haven’t had that talk you’re wanting something that could be completely different from her and then feeling resentful because those expectations aren’t met. I’ve had serious long term relationships end myself and was in no position to jump back into another and kept things casual for a long time. If one of the people I had been seeing had really wanted a relationship I would also have pulled back because it would only have hurt them to enter into a relationship I wasn’t ready for. Thankfully though we were on the same page and it was fine. I’m sure too that sleeping with someone else after a serious relationship ending could bring up a lot of feelings for her and thus her pulling away. It doesn’t have to be a scary relationship talk. It can be as simple as hey so where do you see things headed with us? Does she just need time or does she just want to keep it casual, are you guys exclusive, etc. Keep it light, don’t pressure her, and then once you have the info you can decide if you’re okay with that or if you want to move on.
[–]SlyderKmK 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Seems as if she knows you are more interested in her than she is you. I really wouldnt be texted her too much, and if she is interested, then she will contact you. When she does that, make plans to go out. If she doesnt agree, or says that she cant...then just tell her to contact you when shes can go out.
Man, if someone stood me up like that, I wouldnt be texting them anymore...or even attempt to text them.
I would really just stop trying with this one....and, seems like you're wanting to be in a relationship after only 1 month.
I personally think you scared her away.
[–]MindlessSomewhere3 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I agree with the first part of what you said, but I do carry myself as a high value guy. I’m not needy or clingy at all and I usually just reciprocate the interest levels given to me. I’m an attractive guy who can get girls—so trust me it’s not one of those situations where I’ve been a whipped bitch.
The thing that confuses me is that when she’s with me she’s ALL over me. Making out with me and telling me all this sweet shit but it’s like the next morning she turns into some girl who isn’t interested at all and it frustrates me. I figured after finally getting laid with her that it would bring us closer, but she actually seemed to distance herself after we fucked. Very confusing. The sex was fine, wasn’t awkward at all.
So she was the last one to reply but she took forever and went to bed ignoring my previous text which obviously irritated me. You think I should reply in a couple days or ghost her completely until/if she reaches out again?
[–]SlyderKmK 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I just dont think I'd be texting her. Let her try, and get in touch with you when she is ready, and continue trying to date others, too.
She may be telling you in a round a bout way to give her space. I actually wouldnt even confront her about it.
Let her come to you when/if she is ready.
I know you're asking for advice, but what is your gut telling you to do??
[–]MindlessSomewhere3 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah I like this advice, and I am still dating other girls.
My gut is telling me to reply sometime tomorrow (I haven’t replied in 2 days) just because I’m worried ghosting her completely is going to make me look like 1. I’m petty and mad at her or 2. I was only interested in sleeping with her
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[–]apathetichearts 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]MindlessSomewhere3 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]apathetichearts 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SlyderKmK 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]MindlessSomewhere3 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]SlyderKmK 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]MindlessSomewhere3 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link