Hey guys

Background

First a brief background so you know where I am coming from. I am male, 34 and about 3 months ago I got out of a 6 year relationship to a woman I was engaged to (she left).

Don't want to bore you with all the details as to why it happened, but will mention 2 of my own behavourial mistakes I made during our relationship that were part of the equation that resulted in our separation (things which I knew years ago but apparently had forgotten):

  1. Putting her own needs before my own.

  2. Not disagreeing enough with her.

I hope that those already in or on their way to establish a relationship keep this in mind better than I did.

Inner Game

Now, onward. Although this breakup not only devastated but also completely killed me, I decided early on to make the best of it, and try to improve my character and personality traits, so as not fall into a deep depression either.

To do this, I discovered the ideas of Carl Jung on the Shadow Self through Jordan Peterson, and highly recommend that every person tries to incorporate their shadow self into their personality, as a way to mature and live as a more real reflection of who you really are.

Although a short time has passed since the breakup, I feel more alive, confident and optimistic about life as a result of just trying to change some of my attitudes. For example, I get angry but tend not to show it. I know recognise that anger is a part of me, and I let it out when necessary. Same goes for every other emotion I used to reject, fear or hide.

I think this is an important part of developing your inner game, in that it has given me the confidence to try put different things in life, not only in seduction.

If you need more on the topic of personality, I would suggest taking a personality test (the big 5), and there you can clearly see your strengths and weaknesses as a character, so you know what you need to work on. But you have to work on it seriously, with "right effort" (Buddhism).

The Beach

I had a few days off from work, and would chill at the beach all day, and decided that I would approach only women that blew my mind (keep in mind I have not approached a girl in many years).

I approached 7 women (of various ages; 19-45) in 2 days, got a couple of numbers and went on one date as a result. I need to make it clear that none of the women rejected my approach and they were all fun interactions. 3 of them were married/engaged, one "wanted to be alone" and another could not speak any English.

The Approach

Before I approach a woman I like, I get anxious, like we all do I assume. As soon as this happens I tell myself: "Stop thinking and just go for it".

I then begin walking straight up to the woman and keep looking at her, while keeping the voice in my head silent. Focusing on your body and external environment helps a lot at this stage.

It does not matter if we make eye contact or not while I am going towards her. I right in front of her and say the most dreadful and difficult opener you can imagine: "Hello". My heart might be racing, but I gaze at the woman and think hers probably is too, and as a man I have to maintain control of myself, and therefore the situation I put us both in.

Then I say something like "I saw you and wanted to come talk to you." I was amazed by how positively they all responded when I went to speak to them. I could feel the older women being more "challenging". But they were all flattered, smiley and accepted the interaction without insulting me or doing any of the dreadful ways we imagine women might do as a result of our approach. And even if they did, who cares? There are SO many beautiful women out there, and we can match with SO many of them as well, if only we took the opportunity.

When I was younger, although I did a fair share of approaches, the inner game was much different for me back then. I feel like because I am actively trying to incorporate my shadow, I now have a more "mature" approach in this field.

The Question

I do not know everything nor do I make the claim to, so would appreciate anyone who can offer useful assistance: the one girl I met is 19 (and one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen), and I know it is a different game, but I still want to know how to play it well:)

I approached, we spoke for a good 15-20 minutes in the sea, got her number, met her the next day randomly at the same spot for a while, and then she left the country (she was on holidays). Did not manage to meet since she was tied up with family but she gave me validation in person and via text that she liked me and would like to spend some time with me when she returns.

I contacted her a few days after she left (probably too early) but the interaction did not progress a lot. She wanted a photo of me and I eventually complied. Not sure if necessary to go into details.

So, my question is, what kind of action should I take at long to keep the girl interested (despite her young age) and, especially, attracted? How much time is enough before reaching out again?

Any advice would be extremely appreciated!