Hey Seddit! I had a moment yesterday that helped me put into words my thoughts on a few things.

Just so you know where I'm at, I haven't been doing a lot of approaches recently. Truth be told, I'm coming off of a period of being depressed. Getting my life in order, etc.

A story: I was a contestant at a speech competition yesterday. I'm happy with how I did, but this other guy just KILLED. He was hilarious, compassionate, everything you expect a great speaker to be. So I was thinking, "This guy should obviously win." Later, they called him up to take 1st place. He got the trophy, shook hands, and headed back to his seat. The entire time, the whole room was roaring with applause, myself included.

Now, here's the key part. I was sitting right on the outside aisle. Right as he was passing by me, I gave him the nod. You know, you're clapping, you make eye contact, and dip your head a little bit, as if to say "special kudos to you, sir!" As a fellow contestant, I wanted him to know I was happy with him winning and had no resentment. Guy grinned at me, and right as he walked by, he touched me on the shoulder.

I was thinking about that moment. I had never spoken a word to the guy. I didn't know him at all. What made him kino me on the shoulder was that he felt awesome. He had just won 1st place, I gave him some love, and he gave me some love right back.

That's all kino is! You feel good, and you spread it. It can be sexual. But if you're doing it from the right place, most of the time it's not sexual. It's just friendly.

Let me be clear, the Dicarlo Escalation Ladder is definitely one of the greatest things ever. Seeing it was a huge a-ha moment for me, and gave me the confidence and the game-plan to get my kino in order.

But, in my opinion, kino shouldn't come from your head. You shouldn't "calculate" kino. You should just feel good and want to touch people.

Mammals release oxytocin into their systems when touched. This chemical feels fucking great! That's all we're doing... running around dosing each other with good emotions.

If you don't feel good in your body, make that a priority. Exercising, meditation, and being social are the most effective things I've found to feel good.

Pickup in a nutshell: you feel good, try to make others feel good, and escalate. Everything else -- every little tactic -- are just tricks to improve your conversion rate.