Hey everyone. I feel like getting this off my chest, with so much going on in last few days and not really a lot of people to talk to. So please give me your comments, even if you don't have any tip or anything, I'll still really appreciate it.

You probably won't learn a lot from this post, but still it will be interesting read if you have nothing better to do.

Oh and, my brain is hot right now and I'm full of mixed feelings, so this post might looks chaotic or disorganized at moments, but bear with me..

So, about me; I'm an 18 year old guy from a small town in a country in Europe, still in high school, tall and skinny, not really the best looking guy but not the worst either. I do have a lot of hobbies (all the way from reading books to riding dirt bike) and a relatively active life. However, I don't go out too much (nightclubs and such), started changing it recently. I also do freelance programming online. That allows me to have enough cash without asking my parents, dress nicely, fund my hobbies etc. However, I don't talk about that or show it off, and only my friends know about it.

Now, about my history with girls. I'm a virgin, never had a girlfriend, I've had few kisses, and few months ago I got really close to f-close, but bailed out, partly for being a BIG PUSSY, partly for not having any sort of feelings for that girl (I wanted it to be "special" atm, but I guess that was just another excuse from my loser beta brain). If anyone wants more detailed story, let me know.

I've also never "opened" a girl I didn't knew in real life, only online.

Let's get to the first date thing. I've met this girl trough mutual friends, we spent some time hanging out with friends and got to know eachother a little bit. She is also same age as me, good looking and really smart girl. She seemed interested in me, we had some common hobbies and interests etc, so I decided to ask her out (before her, I've asked two girls out, both refusing). I asked her out somewhere in january, school was off at that time. She said she'll go, but doesn't really have time right now. In the mean time my stupid fucking beta brain develops some kind of feelings for her, even though we barely knew eachother. I waited for 2 weeks before asking her again. She said the same thing again, so I conclude she's not interested and move on with my life. But, recently, a friend said she asked about me few times, and I've noticed she started liking a lot of my crap on facebook and gave me few "looks" in real life. So fuck it, I ask her out again, this time in an more determined, alpha way (if it's possible to be alpha on facebook). She finally accepts.

We went out last wednesday. The date was beta from the start, even though I've studied this subreddit for a while before it. When we met, I was fucking nervous, but she was kinda nervous too. I said that we'll go to cafe 1, she said let's go to cafe 2 it's cooler. So, ofcourse, my fucking beta brain agrees, even though it's against everything I've learned here. The date went by both of us talking about life, books, movies, school, college and whatever other dumb things. Only good thing is, there was no "silent moments" as we're both talkative persons. I didn't tease her, I've smiled for entire fucking time, I didn't build any attraction. Beta as shit. Ofcourse, her female friends I don't even know came in later, so any chance of getting more private after the date was gone. When I had to go, she said she'll return home with them, so we just said bye to eachother and I left. Fuck it.

I haven't seen her after that (we don't go to school at same times), only did a quick follow up on fb when I got home from the date, making sure she's ok etc. I've asked her to go out this wednesday again. She replied just few mins ago, saying that she thinks it's better not to, she thinks I'm a cool and smart guy, but currently she likes someone else (!?). I wanted to ask her why the fuck she went out on first date at all if she wants someone else, but ofcourse haven't. She said we can go out as friends, but I politely declined, wishing her good luck and that's about it.

Right now I feel like shit because of all of it, but I also feel fucking great for even getting a date at the first place. It's a progress!

Now, what next... I don't plan on trying anything with this girl anymore, but we'll definietly see eachother, and I'm not sure how to react as I don't have any experience with such things?

Also, any confidence or hight school/college seducing reading material will help. I'm in high school for 2 more months, and I want to make most out of them.

EDIT: Just realized this. This thing I've done feels really great. Not sure how to call it, but I hope you'll understand. This girl said that we can go out more if I really wanted to (after saying she likes another guy), I politely declined her. After that she said that she knows how I feel, and that she is sorry for it. I said "oh don't worry, it was just a coffee, I haven't expected anything special from it anyway". She seemed a bit stunned by those two, but I felt good :D.