love attachment quality vs quantity ??``

TheMinistryOfAwesome · 2015-12-11T16:10:28+00:00

People want quality the more investment they have.

I suspect this is less of an issue for men, or at least it works in a different way. I hate to bring this all basically down to evolution and the old skool tribalism of mammals but from this perspective it's like this:

Girls want investment, because they want providers, security and are attracted to qualities that will help them succeed in society and their offspring to also succeed. Strength, authority, status, intelligence.
Guys want to secure their own mate so that they have exclusivity and ensure that its their seed to make it along the path.

I don't mean to reduce all people to their primal instincts, it merely plays a part - there are all kinds of reasons - but fundamentally the more invested in a person you are the higher quality you need/want from a relationship.

If you want to pump and dump then really the requirement is that she's hot. If you want the mother of your kids then you probably want a well-adjusted affectionate woman who is capable of making good decisions - who might be socialble, empathic, caring and yet still provide you with what you need.

Similarly, if girls just want to go out for a bit of fun then - attractiveness matters, they are attracted to more of a degree to other things than just 'appearance' but that's about it. If the girl wants kids, then she wants the father to be a quality man.

Oneitis is really a phenomenon that results of an imbalance between investment and reality - it's a kind of weltschmerz. One is essentially filling in gaps to amplify positive traits, or simply attribte non-existing ones in order to match a person's ideal of attractiveness. The disparity between reality and idealism comes in two forms:

1) when she's not the girl they imagine, 2) When she's not really reciprocal.

Everybody (bar few) likes to be loved. Everybody likes to be loved by more valuable people. In human relationships quality is better, without a doubt, but these aren't mutually exclusive.

The question itself is kind of misrepresentation in a way. If you say a person goes for quantity and is less concerned with quality then in fact perhaps that guy is just not persuing the same goal exactly. Enjoying the seduction of multiple girls irrelevent of their SMV might help validate him, feel better, or just help with an incessant need to get his dick wet. While most people would agree that this isn't really a good way to live, it is quality of a sorts - he's doing it to give his own life more quality.

I think though that everyone here would be on a sliding scale. The emphasis shifts from quantity towards quality as you learn more about a girl and realise you're more and more compatible with her.

Oneitis is essentially delusion. Get over it.

Title	love attachment quality vs quantity ??``
Author	loverfluber
Upvotes	2
Comments	1
Date	December 11, 2015 3:10 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3wbkyk/love_attachment_quality_vs_quantity/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/love-attachment-quality-vs-quantity.1290764 https://theredarchive.com/post/1290764

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