Married pickup [2 mini FR]

Anyone here have experience with pickup as a married guy. I'm in an open marriage, and wonder how the ring should play (or not) into any approaches. My schedule pretty much only permits daygame.

Mini FR 1: On a commuter train. Standing, chilling, good vibe going on, listening to my ipod. Doors open across from me and HB7 is standing there. I give her a big smile, she returns a big smile. Hold ... hold. I look away for a split second (damn it!) I look back. Her face is all scrunched up. I give her a "what's the prob?!" look. She mouths while pointing to my hand "you're married ...". Haha. Doors close. Out.

Mini FR 2: In post office with a friend. He goes to his line and I go to mine cuz I'm getting some packing materials. Usual wait in my line, but an HB7 in front of me having a slight bit of trouble getting her package sorted. I lean in during a lull and offer that she should head over to the UPS store, much faster process and all that. She is sending the package for like 10 minutes and I lean in a couple more times with cute comments about her problems with the dude behind the counter. She's got a french accent so a lot of the trouble is between her accent and the thick accent of the guy behind the counter. Finally she gets her shit done and I step up to the window to conduct my business. I notice she's moved to a table nearby to deal with her package. After I'm done, I turn and assess my pal won't be over for a minute or so more. I approach her. "you work nearby?" HB7:"yes I work at Some Hotel". Me: "We should have lunch sometime, then yea?" HB7: "oh no, my fiancee would kill me" (I never confirmed her hand had a ring, but no matter) she continues "actually he would kill you and then me" ... sounds worse written out, but she was pleasant. Just then my buddy comes by, I smile and say, "have a nice day". Eject.

Lessons: Never drop eye contact French HB7 should have been, "so Thursday would be good for lunch then, what's your number?" or the like.

[–]OpenMarriagePUA 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]OpenMarriagePUA 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Okay, here we go.

In general, women do not respond positively to married men hitting on them. Often, when I am out in public I take my wedding ring off. But, since I am very discrete about my relationship status, I keep it somewhere where I can easily put it back on. I have almost never had a woman respond positively to my open marriage. Some have dealt with it, rather grudgingly, but that is all. If I am out with a friend and I want to hit on a woman, I usually just keep my left hand out of view (in my pocket or something). It's a hassle, but it's the best thing I've been able to come up with so far. Otoh, some women have been okay with it--but these are usually women that I already knew (through school or something), so they already knew I was married. I host a weekly drinking/politics meeting, and one girl from school has been showing up a lot lately and sitting next to me. Putting her hand on my thigh and shit. So, some girls are okay with it, but these are more the girls that already know you and like you, as opposed to the girls who you are randomly chatting with and have never met. In terms of girls from school, many of them I am playing "long game" with. I'll usually set up meetings with them to have a few drinks at their place or something. I can think of at least 7 girls from school who know I'm married, but still hit on me, and understand (though are certainly not sure) that I might fuck them.
So, in FR1, you should have kept your ring hidden. IMHO
In FR2, I would have taken a far different approach. You might have come on a little too strong. This is not to say that this woman would have been interested either way. Generally, I will not just ask a married woman out on a date, though. A better approach would be to talk to her more and then use something else as a pretense for getting her number (Example: "oh, you like X? We should get together and discuss X! Let's exchange contact information.")

Anyway, couple questions for you. One, are you in America or somewhere else? Two, could you tell us a bit more about your open marriage--the circumstances surrounding it, how it works, how long it's been going on, how much success you've had finding women to hang out with outside your marriage?

[–]marriedpickup[S] 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I hear what you are saying about "long game" I have one girl who I hang with once in a while who knows my deal and I will probably close that. I suppose pickup for married guys will have to center more on the general idea that pickup is about meeting people. And then from the larger pool of friends, girls who are DTF married guys will emerge.

As for FR1. Agree. I want even trying before I realized she was standing there.

FR 2. Interesting take. It felt good to go in bold. I'm very new to this and need to get some approaches out of the way. Good or bad.

The open marriage thing came about after a long time together. I called for it and we're still in the nascent "don't ask don't tell stage" which I imagine will last for a while. We're poly/mono. She's verrrry cool and I'm grateful for it.

Getting out to meet women is tough with my work/life schedule. So I will be relying on OKC and such more than I'd like. I am in America in a major city.

[–]OpenMarriagePUA 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Title	Married pickup [2 mini FR]
Author	marriedpickup
Upvotes	5
Comments	4
Date	May 1, 2012 9:16 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/t24go/married_pickup_2_mini_fr/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/married-pickup-2-mini-fr.1291311 https://theredarchive.com/post/1291311

Comments