Over the last couple of days I rented a AirBnB with some friends. Two of them are girls I hadn't met before, my buddy invited them. One of the girls instantly stood out to me and I wanted to get to know her better.

In the weeks before the AirBnB I had been trying a more 'devil may care' attitude to seduction, and started teasing girls trying to build attraction, when I did that it was almost always only about getting laid.

But this girl in the AirBnB instantly stood out to me as sweet, kind hearted and soft and I didn't necessarily only want to get laid (obviously that as well) but I felt really drawn to her personality (and she is extremely beautiful). I started to feel anxious, and lost some of my confidence I had when I was only trying to get laid.

I figured rather than trying hard to tease her and using the same style as before, I was going to engage in honest conversations and find out more about her, and try to make her laugh. At first I felt like she also was in to me, but it was really hard to keep the flame going. We would talk a lot but the conversations were somewhat dry, I wasn't making her laugh as much as I wanted and she was triggering neediness inside of me. I tried to fight the neediness by not paying to much attention to her from time to time, and then sparking up another convo, but I don't know if that made me seem uninterested.

But I also don't know if I am not forward enough. Maybe I should use lots of escalation and have try hard to make her laugh and build rappor.

All of this seems so stressful, I'm so anxious all the time now when I'm around her and don't know where I stand with her or what to do next. In group conversations I sometimes end up just being completely quiet to ease the anxiety and chill out for a while. And the disappointment of not being able to keep the flame alive really kills me.

I feel like everything I had built for myself up until now is crumbling because this girl is triggering my neediness. I just feel like opting out of it all now, but I don't want to give up either on this really sweet girl. I don't know where my main problem with girls lie. Maybe I should focus on my inner game again for a while. Maybe we aren't a good fit after all.