My confidence keeps fluctuating depending on my external surroundings. How can I change this?

iuliua · 2013-10-08T04:48:20+00:00

Realize that you cannot control the outer influences that surround you.

Ill quote some Epictetus here: "Happiness and freedom begin with a clear understanding of one principle: Some things are within our control , and some things are not. It is only after you have face up to this fundamental rule and learned to distinguish between what you can and can't control that inner tranquility and outer effectiveness become possible.

Within our control are our own opinions, aspirations, desires and the things that repel us. These areas are quite rightly our concern, because they are directly subject to our influence. We always have a choice about the contents and character of our inner lives.

Outside control, however, are such things as what kind of body we have, whether we're born into wealth or strike it rich, how we are regarded by others, and our status in society. We must remember that those things are externals and are therefore not our concern. Trying to control or to change what we can't only results in torment.

Remember: the thing within our power are naturally at our disposal, free from any restraint or hindrance; but those things outside our power are weak, dependent, or determined by the whims and actions of others. Remember, too, that if you think that you have free rein over things that are naturally beyond you control, or if you attempt to adopt the affairs of others as you own, your pursuits will be thwarted and you will become a frustrated, anxious, and fault-finding person. "

DreadMe · 2013-10-08T03:57:55+00:00

Realize that if somebody is negative towards you it is not because you have a problem, it is because they have a problem.

CervixCrusher · 2013-10-08T03:01:30+00:00

I believe it's the same for everyone, with varying degrees. If it helps, make sure you get a good look at yourself in the motor before you leave the house, checking hair etc.

Most the time, people are too concerned with what they are doing and look like to care about anyone else.

xxnnddrr · 2013-10-08T16:06:10+00:00

There outside and inside. And there are things that are part of the outside, and there are things that are part of the inside. Reaching and trying to change the outside things is a never ending struggle that will result in getting depressed and nothing giving a fuck about yourself.

What helps with me, and i recently found this out, is telling yourself, i'm not the only one who is insecure, i'm not the only one who might have a lack of confidence. As a matter of fact, many people are insecure, especially girls. When you realize that, you stop comparing your own back stage with the spotlight moments of other people.

So try to put yourself in a position where you are in control of your inside (thought, the way you act, the way you dress, talk,...) and don't care about the outside things, you feel in peace with yourself and will get your confidence back because you are in control.

Title	My confidence keeps fluctuating depending on my external surroundings. How can I change this?
Author	ti95
Upvotes	11
Comments	8
Date	October 8, 2013 2:50 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1nyh1a/my_confidence_keeps_fluctuating_depending_on_my/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/my-confidence-keeps-fluctuating-depending-on-my.1359613 https://theredarchive.com/post/1359613

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