First, thanks to anyone who's decided to read through this and offer feedback. My story is this--

When I was 18 (32 now), I was a black solider with the sole mission of losing my virginity. Through sheer toil across the base I was in at the time, I managed to pull that off even if it wasn't with the most ideal of partners. I went to another base and my success with women seemingly picked up; I sloughed through roughly 25 women in a two-year span. Part of that was being in a place where black men were looked upon fondly by women, so I was able to get better quality women for sex and relationships. In fact, I haven't experienced that success since then. I owe part that to the above-stated reason and the confidence that came from that situation. But then, I moved to another base and my success with women plummeted. When I realized things were taking a turn for the worse, I turned to the pickup community as it existed back then even though to be honest, it hasn't changed much since I was 20.

For the past 12 years, I have toiled and I've toiled with everything from learning conversational game to self-hypnosis, affirmations, exercise...anything and everything to improve my situation. Unfortunately, none of it is getting me the results that I desire. As a person very big on the concept of goal setting, my recurrent yearly goal since the age of 28 was to find myself in a long-term relationship leading to marriage.

And every year since then, I've failed in that goal. In fact, I haven't even come close. That's not poor self-esteem talking; I have a fine opinion of myself. Reality is what it is, and failure has become my reality. All the affirmations or positive thinking in the world isn't going to alter that reality...at least it is right now. Most human beings have the ability to know when things are working out and when they aren't.

I've read all the books. I've done all the weird exercises that drone into you courtship techniques and I've spent thousands of dollars over the years looking good and going out to clubs. I've sought and even gained enlightenment in regards to my life, courtship, and dating to a varying extents. I've made changes to my life within the past few years, and I love the man that I am...even if no one else does. I go out all the time, I find some fine hobbies, and I've made some good friends along the way. I've even learned how to be a leader.

And none of that can change the reality that's always been there: I am lonely, and I an dissatisfied with my love life. Rejections are all-too common with the exception of girls I'm only but so interested in, and I find myself settling for these less-than-ideal relationships because I'm at that point where I can take what I can get rather than what I want. That's ok for the short term I guess, but not for the long-term. I wouldn't really marry any of the women I've dated within the past year.

From hobbies to career, I have many things to keep myself occupied outside of women, but all the same I suffer through most of my days and most of my nights just wondering 'what do I do now? what is the solution? what I have not done, what must I do?' In the end, I've narrowed it down to three real options:

  1. Relocate to any city or maybe another country where my dating options could be better. The downside to this is that point-blank, I don't have the desire or resources to do so.

  2. Play the hand I'm dealt. Which is to do nothing, live my life as it is while trying to improve and hope I can eventually either get something decent or something good comes along.

  3. Hire a dating coach. I have to stretch my resources to do this, but it'll be worth it for a long-term solution. Only problem is that for the expenditures I'll make, a long-term solution is not guaranteed. It could be an outright waste of time.

Thoughts?