In today’s post I’m going to show you how to get yourself into the right state for socializing and talking to women. If you can nail this, it’s going to dramatically improve the results of your conversations without even needing to change what you say.

A lot of guys skip this step, and by doing this they are making life harder for themselves. And this is such an easy thing to implement and yet it produces very big difference in your daygame results.

Why Is Your State So Important?

Most guys think, “Well, I’ll just go out after work or my daily routine and start talking to some women.” But here’s the thing - if you look at any performer, whether it’s an athlete, actor, or musician, they all prepare themselves before performing.

Actors do vocal warm-ups. Athletes visualize success and listen to music to hype themselves up. This preparation isn’t about faking anything; it’s about showing up as your best self.

Daygame and talking to women are no different. You’re not “performing” in the sense of pretending to be someone else, but you are trying to show up as the best version of yourself. If you’re not in the right state, you’re not bringing your A-game, and you’re missing out on opportunities to connect.

If you’re serious about improving your dating life - and you should be - then you need to treat this like any other skill. Preparation is key.

Step 1: Change Your Physiology

The first step to getting into a good state is to change your physiology. Personally, I always make sure I’ve had a solid workout before going out.

Here’s why:

  • Physical activity puts you in a better mood and gives you more energy.
  • It helps you feel good in your body which translates into confidence.

Interestingly, the biggest benefit of working out for dating isn’t building huge muscles - it’s the mental and emotional boost you get. When you feel strong and energized, it’s so much easier to bring positive vibes to your interactions.

I also meditate, even if just for a few minutes. Meditation helps me separate from my day-to-day problems and clear my mind, so I’m not carrying unnecessary baggage into my conversations.

Step 2: Redirect Your Focus

The second step is to redirect your focus. This is where a lot of guys mess up.

Most guys focus on what could go wrong:

  • “What if I get rejected?”
  • “It’s too cold today.”
  • “I don’t feel like doing this.”

This kind of thinking sets you up to fail before you even start. Instead, you need to focus on what you want to achieve and why you’re doing this.

I have a pre-going-out checklist that I use to shift my mindset. It includes questions like:

  • What am I trying to improve today?
  • What am I going to work on in my conversations?
  • Why am I doing this in the first place?
  • What kind of person have I become through this process?
  • What kind of person do I want to become by continuing this?

By answering these questions, I remind myself of my goals and focus on the positives. This shift in focus helps me show up with the right mindset.

Step 3: Warm Up Socially

This is a big one, and most guys skip it. They go out, try to talk to the most attractive woman they see, and then freeze up because they’re not socially warmed up.

You can’t skip steps, especially when you’re starting out. Warming up is essential for building social momentum.

Here’s what I recommend: Start by talking to anyone, not just women you’re attracted to. It could be a grandma or a guy walking his dog. And then gradually work your way up to approaching women you find attractive.

This approach helps you ease into the social environment, so by the time you’re ready for a proper approach, you’re in the right state.

And no, warming up doesn’t mean you’re wasting time. Think of it as priming your social muscles. Without this, you risk spending an hour hesitating or only doing one approach - and that’s not going to get you anywhere.