I've been thinking and reading a lot about the information that is being put forth in the community.

Some of it, I think, is very valuable. Some of it feels like bullshit. Let's be honest with ourselves: the material posted in this subreddit is about the farthest thing you can get from a peer-reviewed, scientific paper.

I think that there are three awesome ideas being taught that coincide with the more successful pickup artists in the community and individuals that are successful outside of the pickup community. They are: positive mindset, being process oriented (rather than outcome oriented,) and being honest. This can be rephrased as: believing in yourself, living in the moment, and speaking your mind.

There are a lot of problems diagnosed by the community that these ideas cure, for example: one-itis and approach anxiety.

What is one-itis? It's being attached to someone that you may have no good reason to be attached to. There are times where this is a legitimate diagnosis: Meet girl at bar. She has the same haircut as you and laughs at your jokes. You try to get her number. She denies you. You spend the next three weeks thinking about her. One-itis.

However worrying about one-itis can also border on sociopathic. The opposite end of the spectrum is just naming any kind of attachment "one-itis." Applying one-itis to girls you actually like and have a legitimate attraction to (even if they don't like you back,) is essentially cutting yourself off from emotional attachment and emotional development. Some of the greatest lessons I've learned about myself have been from (failed) relationships. If you accept your emotions for what they are, you can learn from them.

Why are you here? Why are you on this site? To get laid? Sure that's obvious. But when was the moment where you decided that getting laid was something that you were going to research. I'm not guilt tripping you. I'm here. I've read a bunch of shit about pickup too.

I think it pays to be aware of the reasons you chose and the values you held when you decided to go down a certain path.

Some of the pickup techniques shown are destructive, in the sense that they make you look like an asshole and you've essentially destroyed the relationship you have with that girl (or guy or non-girl/guy.) This means you won't hook up with their friends and if you do this enough, you will build up a reputation and you will be the kind of person people tell stories about. A lot of destructive and manipulative techniques taught are taught by people who live in major metropolitan cities, or are travelling the world on a pretty consistent basis. The outcomes of their failures are rarely something they have to deal with, so their focus on technique doesn't include fostering a positive community (other than the pickup community that pays for their seminars and drives their internet traffic.)

Some techniques shown may appear to work, but again aren't scientifically proven. Correlation doesn't mean causality. This means: just because your mom puts mayo on every sandwich doesn't mean that every sandwich ever made will have mayo on it. But you may think that if all you ever eat is your mom's sandwiches. In another light, if you only embrace the techniques you see here, but you never try not using them to see if you get laid anyways, you will never know if they are bullshit.

It rare to see an uncut field reel. Yes they are boring. Yes most people will not actually watch them, but someone will. And those people will be able to actually look at the results and say oh this technique only works 10% of the time, or this technique seems to be the one that is working, but the guy who uses it always uses it in conjunction with this other technique which is actually the effective one.

Simply put, I think this subreddit kind of treats women like objects (even though it says it doesn't,) which means that we are in turn objectifying ourselves and our own lives in an indirect way. I also think that the sheer volume of women that some people approach makes them and some of their techniques look more successful than they actually are.

I think the key here is to remember to be honest (yes I'm just here to fuck you,) to have a positive mind (I am great, this person is great, the world is great, we can do it!) and to be process oriented (wow this conversation is fun, this person is cool, I like staring at your boobs.)

If you can take these three tenets and apply them to every part of your life, you'll see significant improvement. If you just read what every "expert" says to do and sacrifice your own opinions for theirs, you will become disconnected and in turn become a disconnected asshole. If you treat people like people, rather than objects, you'll be able to establish your own moral baseline for what techniques you like to use, and in general what kind of person you want to be when you are lying in your bed (alone) at night.