Hello, this is my first post and I got into the self improvement community 2 years ago. Like most I started with the Game and MM.

A little about me, I was a well liked social guy and had a lot of friends in school and college, had a few girls around me too but I was never "The Guy". My first Girl, who left me for a better version of me used to always say "Why do you always give yourself less credit, It's frustrating" - I realize now, the only reason I never was "the guy" was because I never gave myself permission to be. I was the best friend to all guys who considered themselves "The Guy" in school, and well into college all these cool guys became one clique. Yes, I created that group, but guess what, I was the only guy without a girlfriend in the group. It frustrated me and instead of going out, taking risks and giving myself permission to fail, learn and solving my problem. I isolated myself and when I turned 21 I moved away to a bigger city. I became a self learned computer programmer and worked at startups spending the next 5 years not going out and being busy in my work. I assumed I was bad with women and social status, so why try. I am 28 now and at 26 I found this community basically out of frustration. I was at a point where, forget getting a date, I did not know how to be cool and have cool friends anymore. I was growing backwards and the work I used to enjoy, well, I started resenting it and quit. Long story short, I made a decision to be "The Guy" two years ago and I am renewing that decision today.

I made significant change and stopped worrying so much about status, money, women and started taking more action. I've had several inner game wins and a few wonderful women in my life in that last 2 years, however with some areas I fall back into older non-social, isolated, unhealthy behavior.

I discovered a pattern about stuff that works with me - When I read something, then try it, then reread it, it gives a better insight about what I read and gets internalized step by step. The cycle of read - try - reread - try really helps. An example of a good habit getting internalized - My parents, close friends and family say I am more open now. I used to be a very angry intellectual know it all kid. But about a year ago I decided never to condemn people for being not like me or of no value to me or being wrong. I also convinced myself that the world would not function if everyone was like me. Fast forward to today, I automatically look for how I can positively deal with everyone work wise, seduction wise, friend wise, acquaintance wise, HUMAN wise. I no longer have to remind myself to "not to be mean/bad/asshole" - I am naturally emphatic now and it's winning me a lot of friends and social invitations with no effort. - This is the biggest win in my life so far.

I feel there is an Information overload problem and not knowing what to try out, I've read lot of material but tried very little and very randomly. I want to take it to the next level. So I decided I needed a fixed but flexible "syllabus" for life, depending on my learning style and lifestyle. So I made myself a course.

Module 1 : Mind I realized at a base level, when something happens we react to that something based on our automatic habits. Some of those habits are bad and destructive. But from trying new stuff I keep reading in the community, I realized we can control our responses and develop a new habit, if done with consistency.

Now, This module is 2 Part, First I wanted to understand why we have automatic behavior, Daniel Goleman - Emotional Intelligence comes to mind, just that I never really re-read or made notes. Even when I read I skimmed through it, This time I read it again and it gave me the understanding I was looking for.

I recently attended an NLP seminar, I used to always link NLP to Speed Seduction, which is completely wrong, the seminar was basically about using NLP to become a better presenter. The speaker also recommended Anthony Robbins - Unlimited Power for self development. I finished it over a week and I am re-reading it again. I think It's a good book on getting a framework about our minds.

So Part 1 consists of two full books to help me understand how my logic and emotions works, and guess what understanding yourself leads to understanding someone else, this is called empathy which I believe is what 90s kids who got the Internet as their first love forgot.

  • Daniel Goleman - Emotional Intelligence

  • Anthony Robbins - Unlimited Power

I ordered them from Amazon, Along with a highlighter.

Part 2 of Module 1 is about developing new habits, beliefs and behaviors and keeping them. I concluded that I got most of my inner game set in place by reading posts on forums, reddit, quora and trying the stuff I read, rather than full books.

So I decided to look for detailed summaries of "self-help" books regularly recommended. My common reinforcements are from the following books.

Then there are my 3 favorite inner-game posts I refer to constantly

I don't have any affiliation with any of the sites/links/post authors mentioned. Material is selected from an array of books and posts I have read and archived over two years. All of the advice seems like common sense to the logical brain but we rarely practice and make them second nature.

Module 2 : Passion Modern world survival = potential to earn money + doing what you are passionate about.

Module 2 is related to my field of work and/or passion, I am an aspiring entrepreneur and have loads of practical experience with startups. I've started my own startup 4 months ago. I do not feel an information overload in this area but my immediate to read list is

  • The Art of Start by Guy Kawasaki

  • The Lean Startup by Eric Ries

  • Millionaire Fast lane by M. J. DeMarco

Till now, I have only gone through stuff by Dan Peña, He is 70 years old, but full of energy which is infectious.

Module 3 : Relationships Well, most of us started here with the tactics and routines from the game and mm etc, which probably lead to information overload and clutter, The most useful books for me were

  • Mehow 10SSA - I like this book for two reasons, it keeps the essentials of the mystery method alive and personally it took me from pointless chatter with everyone to being an interesting guy.

  • Book of Pook - Single best book summarizing the mindset required for pickup, it's a fun read too. Meeting women should be fun. Heck Life should be fun

  • The Full Facts Book of Cold Reading by Ian Rowland - I used to be in my head, not listening attentively, and asking boring questions. This is a fun book and after reading I am more present now with my senses tuned looking for cold reads.

Do comment if you have a style of learning too. You can also add to or suggest about my style.

Cheers Tony