Hi all.

There is a problem I seem to face in the seldom dates that I've gone out in the past year. I always think it ends up well and I usually get a kiss at the end of it. However I always get a text that ends up with the girl saying that she isn't attracted to me in a tactful way. I text the girls usually the day after in the afternoon with something along the lines of it was fun, we should do it again.

Now I consider myself an attractive guy which people will sometimes remind me of. I think I usually do well, I make the girl laugh. We will find out about each other. I try to keep the chat interesting and add intellectual substance. On reflection, I see that I end up listening a lot to rants and raves. I may also not smile a lot as I feel insecure about my teeth. Perhaps I could be more active in kino. I feel like I also get attached too easily, maybe she could sense this. Perhaps she can sense the insecurities I have. I usually do try to get the body language right and project confidence as much as I can but maybe I am doing something wrong and I'm not sure what it is. I don't think I particularly know girls well, all my friends in life have been guy friends. I don't really have a girl I can talk to regularly about stuff so I don't think I really understand their mindset. I am also not happy with my life and what's been going on up until now, currently in the place where I live and desperately want to escape so I am perpetually in a cycle of negativity. The only reason I don't live is because my job is awesome. Maybe girls can sense that I do not have much of a life?

  • Am I approaching dates wrong? Is my frame of mind wrong?
  • Why do girls kiss at the end of the date if they are not attracted to you?
  • Is it purely a case of I'm just not their type of guy?
  • What are generally accepted frameworks of how to act on a first date with a girl?
  • How can I better understand girls so I am able to have platonic relationships with some

I would like to stop this cycle of non-attraction and become more efficient in dates and this is really frustrated me. Like I said, I am going to be more active in pursuing more dates as I need to improve and live the life I want to live which is having fun in my late 20's as much as possible. Also I am keen to hang out with attractive girls who I can project my manliness to and have fun with, not necessarily as a girlfriend but I currently feel like I'm not ready and capable to achieve this yet but I am determined now more than ever.

From a frustrated twenty-something.