next step after small talk.

mailman449 · 2011-09-29T03:11:10+00:00

As vajorie said, this is what's called the 'transitioning' phase. It's the stage that will get you from your opener to a point where you can begin to build attraction. There are a couple different types of transitions you can use. You will most likely pick from the type of opener that you used. For example, if you've just used a high risk/reward opener like the one you mentioned, "you're cute, i'd like to get to know you," and get a positive response form her, your transition won't be a difficult one because she's already interested in getting to know you and build attraction.

Your best bet, especially if you're using small talk, is a content transition. A content transition uses her response to your opener to change the subject. You're going to want to piggy back off her answer to your opener to progress the convo. Many pros, for example Savoy, (whose book this information is taken from) recommend that you interrupt her answer to your opener right when you hear something you can go off in hopes of moving the conversation forward into more interesting avenues. Ideally, you've put yourself in the position to take the conversation anywhere you please (through anecdotes, etc.). The main point is not to have to reach back into the conversation for your transition as this appears unnatural and ultimately telegraphs interest, which is no good (yet).

The next type of transition is an observational transition. An observational transition should occur when you notice something spontaneously about her. You've got to convince them that it is, in fact, in the moment. For example, "To a single woman: I bet you that when most people meet you, they think you’re harsh. But I don’t think that’s the truth. My intu- ition is that you are actually shy, so when you meet new people, you put up walls." (Savoy, 60)

Next is the phrasal transition. A phrasal transition is essentially a quick preface into a piece a piece of attraction material. - That reminds me of... - That's odd because...

Lastly is no transition. This means you just start talking about an unrelated topic. Most people won't notice or care as long as your topic is interesting enough. I'd say this is a last resort, but still important to have in the arsenal. Remember, it's better to say anything than nothing at all.

Information taken almost entirely from Savoy's 'Magic Bullets.' Check it out. It's a really good read.

P.S. you mentioned flat out introducing yourself. try NOT telling her your name. Getting her to ask your name is a bigg ioi, imo ;) It's (a hopefully early on) indicator that things are going well.

the_improver · 2011-09-29T01:17:32+00:00

Look up "transitioning", that should help.

verxix · 2011-09-29T06:56:04+00:00

This article was written with you in mind. This whole website is rather insightful, so I do recommend you look around on it.

Title	next step after small talk.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	7
Comments	10
Date	September 28, 2011 11:48 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/kuno2/next_step_after_small_talk/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/next-step-after-small-talk.1323080 https://theredarchive.com/post/1323080

Comments