I'm not sure what this post is supposed to be. I think I'm just frustrated after yet another night of failure, and I just wanna put all my thoughts out there. I always see these posts titled "One year in. What I've learned" and all that shit, obviously implying that there has been significant improvement in the past year. Well, I've hit a year now, and the reality of my situation has sunk in: one year in and I haven't learned shit.

I discovered pickup a year ago. I was 18 at the time, on the verge of turning 19 (which is legal drinking age). I had a girlfriend for a year in the past, and the only reason we dated was because she chose me. She had a crush on me, she started talking to me, she asked me out. I was the biggest pussy when it came to talking to girls; I didn't know what to say to them. I'm asian, average looking; not good looking, not ugly. The only reason I dated my ex is because I didn't want to die a virgin, and I thought that was the best I was gunna get.

My friends showed me simple pickup, and my mind was blown. The idea that these guys could pick up hot chicks with such ease was just crazy. Me and my friends, we went out sarging a couple times at a mall, inspired by simple pickup. I managed to get a couple flakey numbers, nothing more. For me at the time though, getting (flakey) numbers was CRAZY and I was hooked on this whole pickup thing. I started studying a ton of pickup material in my free time. I wanted to become this awesome pickup machine, getting laid left and right... You know how it is.

While I was trying to learn all I could about picking up women, my friends lost interest in this whole pickup thing and we stopped daygame sarging. I turned 19, and we all starting going out clubbing and hitting on women. Fine by me, I had an opportunity to put to use all this stuff I had been learning.

I went out every weekend, at least once a week. I would occasionally get a number or two, and they would always flake. Whatever, it's all part of the learning process, right? That's what I told myself anyways, as I continued to study pickup material and write FR's on a pua site I frequented.

University started up again, and I was starting my first year at a new uni after transferring. My previous year of uni had been pretty bad, I didn't make very many friends and I was just that shy awkward kid. I was determined to have a good year, with a fresh start at a new uni. I applied all the stuff I had read about, sitting beside people and introducing myself, all that shit. The problem was, I was in a small faculty of engineering, with only 50 people in this particular branch of engineering. We all had the same classes together, every single day; I was gunna be in classes with these same people for the next 4 years. I made some friends, but it was pretty obvious I wasn't going to meet any girls through my classes. Talk about a fucking handicap...

I took to approaching girls on the bus, since I took a bus to and from school every day. While waiting at the stop, I would approach any girls that were there waiting too, but it wasn't very consistent. I would get maybe 3-4 approaches a week from the buses, and the majority of them were with girls I weren't interested in but approached simply because of the lack of other options.

This became my routine. I would hit on girls on the bus during the week, and on the weekend I would go clubbing.

When I went clubbing, all I got was flakey numbers. Nothing more.

Through my bus game, however, I met a couple girls. The thing was, it was ALWAYS the girls I wasn't interested in that I would actually get along with. There were 4 or 5 different girls that I met on the bus that I could've dated, but I just wasn't into them. I'm not even picky, and yet still all the girls I actually had a chance with were well below my standards. Although, there was this one girl I actually was interested in and we went on a date once, where she then explained that she had a boyfriend of several years. Lol, just my luck.

Now, fast forward to about a month ago. School had just let out, and after all that, all I had managed to do was talk to a bunch of ugly girls that I had no interest in dating. All through this time, I kept telling myself that this was all for practice, and hotter girls were going to come soon. I had finally met a girl at a bar, an asian HB5.5 who barely met my now-lowered standards. I went on a couple dates with her, and the most that I managed to do was make out with her. I think my lack of interest in this girl caused me to not put in much of an effort into escalating, or maybe I'm just a huge pussy. Either way, we kinda just stopped dating. I'd like to pretend I don't care, but as much as I didn't like this girl, she was all I had managed to get in an entire year...

There was also another girl I had met at school. We went on one date, it went really well, I k-closed her and we had agreed to date casually for now. Then, when I texted her later, she was really cold to me and rejected me when I asked her to hang out. She stopped responding to my texts.

So that pretty much brings us to present day. My friends have gotten back from uni from all over the country, with all these crazy stories of hot chicks that they've banged and all that shit. Even my ugly, once-virgin friend with no game managed to fuck a couple girls.

I went out to a bar yesterday, and watched as a couple of my friends hooked up with girls as I approached to no avail. I did manage to get the number of yet another ugly girl who I once again am not interested in. I went to a club tonight, got blown out a few times, and then my wing decided to tell me he's been seeing this girl recently, and he wasn't really down to hit on any girls anymore. I just gave up and we went home.

So, here I am now. At home, kinda frustrated at my whole situation. I am now the most sexually inexperienced guy out of my whole group of friends, and it doesn't look like that's gunna change anytime soon. I've been studying pickup for a year, and all I managed to do is gain the attention of a bunch of ugly chicks that I have no interest in dating. I did manage a couple of k-closes that I didn't mention, but those happened to be with girls who lived on the other side of the globe. Just my luck, right?

Anyways, there you have it. My rather bland, eventless journey of learning pickup. I'll admit, I've definitely gained confidence since I first started; however, that came way back when I first started and hasn't improved much since. I think it's slowly faded away over the past year of failure after failure. I've discovered that the only girls I can actually attract are asian girls. I'm not really into asian girls; even though I'm asian I'm whitewashed as fuck. It seems white girls don't want anything to do with asian guys though.

I apologize for the pessimistic post. I don't mean to turn anyone away from trying to learn to get women. Just realize that it doesn't always work as you would think. Despite the results, I'm not gunna give up on pickup. I mean, what's the alternative? Staying home and jerking off to internet porn?