This post is strictly about approaching strangers, which is what I consider actual pickup. Seduction is important everywhere, but pickup is both more complex and more difficult.

We begin with the approach phase. Everyone may label their steps differently, but approach phase always comes first. So you might have a few canned openers, or you may just be charming and have a legitimately good reason to talk to the set. Either way, I find opening to be the easiest of all steps and I will tell you why. Its because people are generally kind and interested in novel experiences. Even a hot bitch supermodel at a bar will listen to you when you speak until you blow it or give her a reason to lose interest.

So you give an opening pitch and the set responds. Lets say for the sake of this discussion that the set hooks and you use the opener conversation for 5minutes. In an effort to move forward to the next step (whatever you call it) you will need to transition from the opening phase. I personally think that the first phase transition is the hardest part of pickup. Many of you may agree with me because you CANNOT just move from a talk about the opener to a talk about the girl's favorite sex positions without something in between (unless that was your opener... you fucking boss). So what do you do?

Lets think about options;

  • Ask nicely to move into a normal conversation NO!
  • Observational comment that is leading
  • Ask an unrelated question to change subjects abruptly
  • Ask a related question that will be relevant but bring the conversation to a new topic
  • Neg or force a qualification
  • Other options that we can discuss in the comments if we choose

So that this is tangible, lets pick a classic canned opener that everyone knows. [Text breakup] is pretty cliche and I would NEVER use it, but it works for our discussion. For anyone unfamiliar...

"My friend just broke up/got dumped by text message, is that acceptable or is it a cold impersonal move?" Thats the bones of the opener.

I don't know any girls that wouldn't love to jump in and offer an opinion on this. Sidenote: girls love discussions about drama and relationships because its what they always talk about with each other. If you don't know that already, remember it.

Since this opener is not observational, it opens the door for the use of an observational transition. I have been experimenting with the cold read transition and so far it works like a charm. Suppose that they bite and offer opinions and you all chat for a few minutes. Pretend to notice something about them that anyone would respond to AND changes the topic.

  • "I notice that you two know a lot about this, are you secretly maneaters and I accidentally asked a couple experts?"
  • "I should have know that a girl in those shoes would say [whatever her opinion was]. You can tell a lot about a girl by her shoes."
  • "Wow you two are ice-cold. Your ex boyfriends must be devastated fellows after you are done with them."
  • "You two must be best friends... you agree on everything"

By the way those lines aren't field tested, as far as I know I just synthesized them, so be careful. Also #1 and #3 are half negs so be careful and smile or you may get blown out. So cold reading is useful, even if you fabricate something that any set will relate to (thats what psychics do).

Asking an abrupt question that is unrelated is a bad idea in my opinion. It is... abrupt and will feel strange or forced.

Asking a related question is okay but you have to put in the work to ensure that topics actually change. "Okay so texting is okay, but why wouldn't a girl just break up in person?" Thats actually not so good because I can easily see the set bringing the talk back to the opener topic. Maybe "If it were me, wouldn't you rather just break my heart in person?" I don't know, I prefer the type of transitions I listed above.

Okay this post is already really long so I wont go into neg/qualifier transitions here. I want to hear your opinions in the comments. What are your favorite types of transitions and how do you land them without a speed bump in the conversation? What do you call your next phase and why? What are your favorite openers that bypass the need for a phase transition?

I look forward to discussing this with you all, I find it the most complex part of pickup. Let me hear it. Cool