Play or be played

IpickupGrandmothers · 2015-01-14T13:46:12+00:00

I'm being super pedantic, but...

whilst you thought you were the one in control

Seduction ain't about control. :) Yeah there's always some element of banter when you're flirting, but making this about control and games means you're being inauthentic.

recyclablebantha · 2015-01-14T15:42:28+00:00

Aside from what Ipickupgrandmothers said....

Please post stories of when a girl has played you whilst you thought you were the one in control. At what point did you realise? What did she do?

This stuff is not so black and white. We only think it is when we're younger. Even in this theoretical situation you're painting where one person "plays" another person who thought they were "in control," it's MASSIVELY oversimplifying to the point where the conversation almost becomes meaningless unless we set some more boundaries for the conversation. So let's do that. A few assumptions first:

People in the dating world are seeking to get something they want and/or some need fulfilled.
People like to feel good and to avoid feeling bad.
For simplicity's sake, let's assume we're dealing with people who are vanilla, not masochists and/or sadists.

Let's say there's Guy B who thinks they are "in control" and Girl A who "plays" him. Really both of them are playing themselves and neither one of them is in control.

Guy B is being played or deceived, but Girl A is playing herself too because she is either risking the loss of her connection to someone who matters to her or Guy B doesn't matter to her and she's bothering to spend/waste her time being intimate with a guy who isn't really congruent with her or her life.

Guy B has such a strong need to be in control that he's blinded to his lack of control. Or blinded to the fact that you can't control people or really control much of anything else in life besides yourself. Girl A kind of has "control" but it only exists because Guy B gave it up.

Did you hate her for it or were you impressed with her game?

Any guy who is deceived or played (and who is more than likely setting the stage for their own deception), is going to be focused on any artful "game," on the part of the girl. They're more likely to be hurt, which leads anger and hate, which is directed both at himself (the guy) AND the girl.

Title	Play or be played
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	4
Comments	3
Date	January 14, 2015 9:42 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2sdx7q/play_or_be_played/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/play-or-be-played.1382344 https://theredarchive.com/post/1382344

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