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IpickupGrandmothers Archive

View 0 posts and 784 comments by IpickupGrandmothers on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

I grew up on the Internet. I started going on 4chan when I was 12 (in b4 underage b&). I got into high school and college extremely fucked up, socially speaking. I was extremely poorly socialized as a kid. So I know your pain, man. What worked for me was to just hang out with people more. And not hang out with people for the sake of hanging out with people. But actually trying to make friends. Having fun. Offering value. Listening to others. Sharing stories. Grabbing a drink and joking around at…
/r/seduction24/04/16 03:29 PM
2

Why is your sense of self-worth tied to strongly to female approval? Why is it coming from a place of codependence, rather than a healthier, "I'm awesome, you're awesome, let's be awesome together"? I think when you're at a point in life where you realize that female approval will never make you happy, you'll have a much easier time not going after it. Unfortunately, this is one of those things that someone has to experience firsthand for them to understand it, it's not something you can learn f…
/r/seduction24/04/16 03:21 PM
1

I don't want to hear "just do it", because I had every intention of doing it but I just freeze. And I want to be the CEO of a successful company, but am I actually willing to put in the massive amounts of effort to make that happen? Hell no. Talk is cheap. Intention means nothing without action. You can say you had the intention all you want, but it makes jack all without the action to back it up. Saying "but I have intention!" is just a way of dealing with cognitive dissonance. You know you did…
/r/seduction24/04/16 03:14 PM
2

When people find you boring or uninteresting, it's almost never what you say, but how you're saying it and how you relate to people overall. I'm gonna go ahead and guess that you're seeking approval/validation, AKA you're trying too hard to be liked. I'm guessing you aren't talking to women to share good emotions and have a great time, but rather, you're using women as a vehicle to feel good about yourself.
/r/seduction24/04/16 03:00 PM
2

There's nothing wrong with apologizing if you're apologizing for the right reasons. If you genuinely feel as though you did something wrong and you genuinely want to make up for it, then feel free to apologize.
/r/seduction23/04/16 04:12 PM
7

I know you guys like to preach abundance mentality but that's a really difficult mindset to have when I only meet a few girls a year that I consider to be girlfriend material. I can't speak for other people, but I think that's how it should be. If you're walking around life constantly meeting girls that are worth dating seriously, then you're either a liar, have relaxed standards (not that it's a bad thing at all, maybe you're just super chill), or you're a much, much better pickup artist than I…
/r/seduction23/04/16 03:16 PM
1

Honestly dude, this is such a general question, there is no one-size-fits-all approach. There's no mindless algorithm you can blindly follow, man. Can you qualify the statement "a woman does something that pisses you off"? What context? What's going on? What do you mean by "better"? What is your endgame? What result are you trying to get?
/r/seduction03/02/16 04:21 PM
0

Yeah, it's just a shit test. You can use common deflection techniques, e.g. make it into a joke, agree and amplify "You're such a cocky fucker" "Yeah and I have a huge dick too" You could also just not talk to her. Your choice. If I get the vibe that she's just pushing my buttons for shits and giggles, then I'll probably just joke around with her. If I get the vibe that she's just being a cunt, why would I even waste my valuable time talking to her? I'd rather talk to someone that isn't a cunt. …
/r/seduction03/02/16 04:11 PM
4

Because I want to have authentic, substantial relationships. Even if it's just a hookup or FWB. Reading that book was instrumental in helping me realize, "yeah... I ain't got no time for that bitch-ass, fuckboy bullshit". It helped me learn more about myself, what kind of relationships I wanted (whether serious, casual, romantic, or platonic), and what kind of person I wanted to be in my relationships. I'm in a place in my life where, for me, it's not just about getting my dick in a hole. Gettin…
/r/seduction28/01/16 04:32 PM
1

How do I turn this around? What are you pretending not to know? ;) I feel that you already know what you should do, but for whatever reason, you're not. You seem like a reasonably intelligent person, I have faith in you. :) (no sarcasm intended at all by the smileys)
/r/seduction28/01/16 04:28 PM
5

Sometimes we just have bad nights, it happens. Don't worry about it! Try to force yourself to just have a friendly conversation. Slowly put yourself in the mood to socialize. If you're feeling kinda "bleh", oftentimes you can't just suddenly switch on the "I'm a boss" feeling. This happens to me a lot because I work as a software developer, so for most of the day I'm in "cold, logical, analytical" mode. When I go out, I have to slowly get myself into my "expressive, creative, sociable" mode. Tak…
/r/seduction28/01/16 04:26 PM
1

So how do I reduce the dirty flirting and actually build up a connection? I'll also admit to being a bit of a narcissit that doesnt really care for girls feelings, but I will care temporarily if itll make my situation better? You want to actually build a connection, huh? Then start caring. Until then, good luck. Can somebody give me some dialouge examples that have worked for you? It's not about what you say. It's about who you are as a person. You can't fake authentic connection, unless you're …
/r/seduction28/01/16 04:22 PM
1

Or if you live in any reasonably large city and make an effort to build social circles.
/r/seduction28/01/16 04:18 PM
3

This is so much easier after college because: you have more life experience you have disposable income To be fair, it's easy for me to say this because I live in one of the biggest cities in the world with a decent salary.
/r/seduction05/12/15 11:55 PM
5

Check the side bar. This is like going to /r/golf and asking "hey guys how do I golf?"
/r/seduction05/12/15 04:35 PM
2

Why not both?
/r/seduction05/12/15 04:32 PM
1

Don't be overly needy and you won't come across as needy.
/r/seduction04/12/15 05:59 PM
0

Some girls are like it, some girls are neutral, and some don't like it. "Girls" aren't like, one cohesive, monolithic demographic you know? You're worrying too much about detail that really doesn't matter all that much. Relax and do you. There are always going to be girls who'll vibe with you and girls who won't. Trying to micromanage every detail to squeeze every little ounce of possible sex out of life isn't a great way to go about living.
/r/seduction04/12/15 05:56 PM
1

Np, but just a heads up, I've been checking this account pretty sporadically.
/r/seduction04/12/15 03:40 PM
6

The nuance is: these questions are supposed to help create the connection, not create the connection for you. Don't ask questions for the sake of asking questions. Ask questions that will help you create a genuine connection (e.g. do you even give a shit about asking about her first pet?).
/r/seduction04/12/15 03:14 PM
2

Sometimes you just gotta grind and be about the hustle. It's finals season, focus on completing your semester in excellence. While it's good to push yourself and "stretch", sometimes you're simply overdoing it. Like right now, I think you're overdoing it not simply because it's finals week and it's stressful, but because when you ask yourself "am I making excuses", I don't believe you're coming from a self-empowered position. Think of it like working out a muscle. Working out a muscle destroys s…
/r/seduction04/12/15 03:02 PM
1

Right here. Ultimately, all (good) guides follow the same principles. So you don't necessarily need a guide tailored for someone like you (except for motivation purposes maybe). Look man, I get where you're coming from. I may not have been bottom of the barrel, but I was pretty damn close to it. But the thing is, there will always be an excuse we give ourselves as to why we can't or won't do something. That's what's holding you back, not a lack of guides tailored for people like you (even though…
/r/seduction04/12/15 02:42 PM
2

Give me some advice to help me overcome my AA with this girl and seduce the fuck out of her You're inherently coming from the wrong mind set. You're coming from a place of massive scarcity. I was a CS major, I know the struggle. But the thing is, it's not about your actions. It's about where those actions are coming from. You can ask her out and give it a shot. Something as simple as, "Hey, I'm BigShlurpy, how you been?" is fine. There's really no advice other than that because there simply isn'…
/r/seduction02/12/15 04:15 PM
3

It's not like, "I'm going to blindly disregard signs of discomfort because the internet told me to assume attraction". The idea is to basically tell the anxious voice in your head, "Hey man, come on, relax. You don't even know if she doesn't like you. How about we give it a shot before we put ourselves down for no reason?" To be fair, it's unfortunate that there are a lot of dumb dumbs who are unable or unwilling to critically think, and DO think it means the former.
/r/seduction02/12/15 04:05 PM
2

Ahhhh, I see. Sorry, I went all gung ho on you.
/r/seduction30/11/15 04:53 AM
9

Nice! You definitely should feel proud. The simple fact that you got up and did your thing is a victory in itself. What should i do different next time? I'm the type of guy who likes to do things in the moment, so I can't tell you like "say this specific line" or whatever. But I would say, you just need some practice for you to internally "get it" that asking out girls isn't so bad. Like you might logically understand that it's not scary, but you might not feel it in your heart, know what I mean…
/r/seduction30/11/15 04:50 AM
1

Agreed. So many Sedditors (well I guess people in general) are trying to live out this cartoon fantasy of what they think success looks like, rather than, well, living the life that they actually want to have. Like the posts, "how do I deal with shit tests?? how do I get uninterested girls to text me??" Fuck man, why bother dealing with that shit in the first place? Life is short, I ain't got time for that nonsense.
/r/seduction30/11/15 04:44 AM
1

Girls aren't "input seduction tactics, output sex and blowjobs" automata, man. There is no magical step-by-step formula that will teach you how to get a girlfriend. There is no magic pill, mystical advice, or silver bullet. Seduction, in practice, is more of an art form than it is a science (at least that's my experience). It's not about blindly following a rigid set of rules. That being said, come on man. There's a side bar. There's a whole wealth of information available for consumption at you…
/r/seduction30/11/15 04:32 AM
2

Maybe because later in life when he gets a job he might not have the chance. Oh man, you must be new here. The whole point of seduction is to teach people that they can have the sex/dating/romantic life that they want. "Might not have another chance" is a horribly limiting belief that is also flat out wrong! You're right that college is a fantastic way to meet people and it should definitely be used, but suggesting that he might never have another chance is just crazy to me. It's incredibly unfo…
/r/seduction30/11/15 04:27 AM
2

I went through a phase where I was fake as fuck and tried to live up to the image of a player, when in reality I was a nerd trying out shit I learned from the Internet. Lost an amazing, sexy, intelligent, funny girl because of that. No regrets, though. Losing her forced me to learn and grow. Forced me to learn how to be honest, authentic, and real as fuck (or at least get set on that path). My relationships with my friends, family, and women are all much better because of that incident.
/r/seduction30/11/15 04:24 AM
1

You really don't want to live a life where lies come naturally to you. I don't see what would be gained from practicing this, especially since this skill could be beneficial in regards to coming up with quick topics to discuss. this is just conversational threading, and you don't need to lie (or internalizing lying) to practice it. If conversational threading is the core issue that needs to be worked on, then lying to practice it is like putting on a band-aid over a deep gash. I'd rather have my…
/r/seduction30/11/15 04:17 AM
2

There's nothing wrong with investing into a girl, but she has to be worth it! I just wanted to emphasize that because too many people fall into that trap and never form meaningful relationships (even if they're just a FWB or something). Or maybe I'm just getting old, heh. Still, nice! This is definitely a great step for you.
/r/seduction30/11/15 04:14 AM
2

I think you're overthinking this. I use Snapchat and social media for myself, not to micromanage peoples' perceptions of me. I think that'll set the stage for a relationship based on fantasy and image since they'll be drawn to the image of you, rather than who you actually are. Personally I ain't about that life. But this is just my opinion. I'm sure there are other people who have success (whichever way it shows up for them) doing some other shit.
/r/seduction30/11/15 04:11 AM
3

Chances are, it's not about your looks, but what you're subconsciously communicating through your vocal tonality, body language, speaking rhythm, emotions, etc. All of those little things stem from your beliefs and attitudes regarding women and life in general. Homie, looks matter sometimes. But for the most part, they're pretty damn irrelevant. I don't think an internet post will change your mind about this, but for what it's worth, it's not your looks and this is totally fixable. But it does t…
/r/seduction30/11/15 04:07 AM
7

Haven't seen the video yet, but thanks for the contribution! Content is hard to make, and free value is often undervalued. Appreciate it.
/r/seduction30/11/15 03:59 AM
10

Keep being the awesome guy that attracted her in the first place!
/r/seduction27/11/15 11:50 PM
1

Glad I could help!
/r/seduction27/11/15 11:49 PM
2

Sure! Any relationship (whether romantic, platonic, FWB, etc.) can be a learning experience. Hell, you can look at life as a never ending series of learning experiences. Besides, there ain't no reason you can't have a lil' fun while you look for something more serious. :)
/r/seduction27/11/15 11:48 PM
1

You might not realize it now, but it sounds like you had a fantastic learning experience :). There's no such thing as failure, only learning experiences.
/r/seduction27/11/15 04:44 PM
1

The opener isn't a big deal. You don't need some super-witty or passionate or clever or whatever opener. You just need to open. The Game isn't exactly a great way to learn pickup, IMO. Take that shit with a grain of salt, because if I recall correctly, Mystery Method is highly routine/line based. But women aren't input-routine-output-sex black boxes. Thinking solely in this paradigm is extremely dangerous for both yourself and your future relationships.
/r/seduction27/11/15 04:42 PM
2

Is there a man in SEDDIT who feels the same of am I the only asshole??? Many of us found Seddit because we were the angry high school virgin. I totally emphasize because I've been there, and I get where you're coming from. But get over it dude. You totally have the right to live life the way you want to, and you should!. But if you're going around life carrying bitterness, then I strongly suggest you do something about it. Therapy can be a very useful tool in your toolbox. Otherwise, you're goin…
/r/seduction27/11/15 04:36 PM
1

Just because he acts this way doesn't mean you should drop him. Sometimes people make mistakes and fuck up. They might not even realize they're fucking up. If he's a real friend, have a man-to-man conversation about him. You'd be surprised what kind of amazing results can come from honest communication. If he plays it off as a joke, really emphasize that you're being serious and you're trying to be real with him. If he keeps playing it off, then he can fuck off. I mean, it's hard to say. I've ha…
/r/seduction27/11/15 04:22 PM
1

It might not be anxiety, per se. The point is that, ultimately, you're using it as an excuse to stay within your comfort zone. And that's not necessarily bad in many cases, but if you say that you want to meet women, then you're going to have to make it a priority. I'm sure that generally speaking, you do have a great love for your hobbies and interests. However, in this specific context, you're using it as an excuse because you obviously do want to do talk to the girl. Like, if you value readin…
/r/seduction27/11/15 04:21 PM
1

Not necessarily...
/r/seduction25/11/15 09:52 PM
7

I generally don't pay for the first date unless I feel that I'm going to like her. But I guess I don't really care since I don't do expensive first dates. Like a $3 coffee or $8 lunch isn't going to hurt my bank account, so whatevs. IMO paying for a date is only bad if you're paying because you're trying to impress her (i.e. putting her on a pedestal, seeking approval, etc.) or if she's bullying you (e.g. "a real man would pay!1!11!!"). IMO, do whatever you want as long as you're coming from the…
/r/seduction25/11/15 08:21 PM
1

Talk to other women. Chances are, she's not interested. For the future, if you want to be confident with one particular girl, you have to learn how to be confident with women in general.
/r/seduction25/11/15 08:07 PM
2

Loyalty be damned, she has to make you want her because you have other options an a quality male. Hahah, agreed, but if she's as badass as you, then the street goes both ways.
/r/seduction25/11/15 07:45 PM
3

Haven't seen the video, but I agree with the bullet points. A confident, self-actualized women who wants a real relationship is going to look for shit like connection, confidence, personality, sense of humor, vulnerability, etc. But I might not put "status" or "loyalty" as a secondary attribute. If we're talking about status like who has more Instagram followers, then yeah, that shit don't matter. But if we're talking about status like confidence, being comfortable with one's self, etc., then th…
/r/seduction25/11/15 07:19 PM
2

Why do you want to be a ladies man? Is it because you want to have great sex and awesome relationships/fuck buddies? Or is it because you want to look cool on Instagram? Go for the girl that you actually want, not the girl that you're only going to use to boost your ego and find validation.
/r/seduction25/11/15 07:12 PM
2

Even though this isn't a strictly seduction related, IMO, it's good that you made this post and got your thoughts off your chest. Catharsis and reflection are essential for emotional growth. Since I don't know who you are, what you're like, etc., I'm not quite sure what kind of breakthroughs you'll have, but having this happen to you is a great step towards living authentically (i.e. being real as fuck and truly being a boss).
/r/seduction25/11/15 07:09 PM
67

Congratulations! You're finally at the point where you can take the wool off your eyes and go for the women that you actually want. (no sarcasm intended, many people never reach this point and end up dying lonely because they never learned to live authentically)
/r/seduction25/11/15 07:04 PM
1

Give yourself the space to dream about what you want out of life. None of that "oh I can't do that" or "that just ain't me" bullshit. Give yourself permission to fantasize a bit on how you want your life to look like. Have a vision for your future. Then go after that dream. Any time you start falling behind, losing motivation, whatever, remember your vision.
/r/seduction25/11/15 03:49 PM
1

Why?
/r/seduction25/11/15 03:31 PM
1

How do I show I don't give a fuck? If you actually don't give a fuck then you don't have to go out of your way to show it, know what I mean? So what's the best move here? What do you want out of this?
/r/seduction25/11/15 03:22 PM
2

You have an idea of success that you think will make you happy, when it won't. You're setting yourself up for a life of unhappiness, loneliness, and regret. Beliefs are bullshit because believing in something doesn't make it true. It simply means we've cherry-picked enough evidence to convince ourselves it's true. In other words, we believe in things because we want to believe in them, not necessarily because our beliefs are actually true. For the sake of your happiness, I hope you change your c…
/r/seduction25/11/15 03:18 PM
2

Pickup isn't about becoming this cartoon character of what society thinks is a ladies man. Pickup, to me, is about the ever-continuing process of self-improvement so that you can have great sex, healthy relationships, and awesome women in your life. How that shows up will be dependent on your personality, what you want out of life in general, etc. So to actually answer your question, your introversion isn't a big deal. You will find women that will fit with your personality and lifestyle (assumi…
/r/seduction25/11/15 03:12 PM
4

That's probably one of the most immature mindsets I've ever encountered on this subreddit, and I've been here for a damn long time. Kid, you've got issues with how you relate to women that you're gonna need to deal with if you want to have great sex and healthy relationships (whether platonic or romantic). But to actually answer your question, no, AA doesn't go away. You just get better at handling it.
/r/seduction25/11/15 03:01 PM
1

Is there anything specific that you think I should talk about/ record? What things would you like to see? I mean, it's your documentary so you can do whatever the hell you want, but IMO, don't make it about gimmicks, lines, or routines. Good pickup ain't about that shit. Make it about healthy self-improvement.
/r/seduction25/11/15 02:57 PM
1

Do you think solely going out to chase a 9 or a 10 is wise if that is what I desire? It depends on the place that you're coming from. From where you are coming from, I say it's very unwise. Because you're not trying to date a 9 or 10 to have great, mutually beneficial sex. You're not trying to date a 9 or 10 to have a awesome relationship (whether it's just a FWB, something long-term, or whatever). You're going after them for your ego. Not that it's necessarily a bad thing, and I hope I didn't i…
/r/seduction25/11/15 02:53 PM
1

Obviously social rules will change from culture to culture, but ultimately, how to attract and how to have healthy relationships are virtually the same everywhere. Be awesome, be real as fuck, communicate (whether verbally or physically), and going to the gym doesn't hurt. Rather than worry about specific cultural rules (that you'll probably unconsciously learn just by living there), focus on how you can be the best version of yourself. In the end, attraction is the same everywhere.
/r/seduction25/11/15 02:35 PM
3

What would he understand once he reads the book? I read that book but now I think I missed something.
/r/seduction25/11/15 02:31 PM
2

I think you're overthinking this! If you just want to be friendly, then just be friendly. No need to overcomplicate the situation.
/r/seduction25/11/15 02:28 PM
1

Heh, well either way, a meditative practice is great for emotional health! You should give it a shot anyway :). In my experience, meditation is extremely useful in pickup.
/r/seduction25/11/15 02:26 PM
92

By not looking at them as 9's or 10's and not being worried about standing out. Don't put them on a pedestal.
/r/seduction24/11/15 06:44 PM
1

If your mental voice is normally overly-excited and jittery (and therefore causing your physical voice to be like that), I'd suggest breathing exercises or meditation or some shit. Anything that calms the nerves, really.
/r/seduction19/11/15 02:56 PM
2

Haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate. Seriously, the jealousy is strong here. I don't think there's much you can do. It sounds like you're good at deescalating potentially violent situations, so awesome. But there are always gonna be bitchass fuckboys who are gonna try to fuck with you. There are ways you can "tool" another guy out, but it's walking the line between verbal deescalation and just starting shit. Look up how to handle AMOGs (alpha male of the group). Some stuff migh…
/r/seduction19/11/15 02:53 PM
2

It's all about the place that you're coming from. Are you using money to buy attention or validation? Or are you using money simply as a tool in your toolbox, as an extension of yourself? It's hard to describe, but there's a clear emotional difference between the two. Two different people can pay for dinner, and both people will get different results because they're coming from different places, even if they actually did the same action. Ask yourself, "where am I coming from right now?" Are you …
/r/seduction19/11/15 02:46 PM
2

Free value, awesome. Thanks dude. Content creation can be hard as hell, this is very much appreciated.
/r/seduction19/11/15 02:32 PM
1

my wife knows all my friends You're married and you want to bang other people. Now, I don't want to make any moral judgements on your situation or anything, but IMHO, the problem isn't "I want to bang my co-worker". The real issue is solving the lack of excitement in your life. Fucking another woman would simply be putting a band-aid over a deep gash. I don't believe pickup artistry is your solution here. Probably marriage counseling or something.
/r/seduction19/11/15 02:29 PM
4

If you only value women for their looks, then damn I feel bad for you son. No offense.
/r/seduction22/09/15 02:23 PM
2

anymore i reached a week without soda today FUCK YES. Dropping soda was a big game changer when I was losing weight. Keep it up!
/r/seduction22/09/15 02:18 PM
8

I'm gonna second what IANAPUA_Yet says. Look OP, you might have your shit together in a lot of ways. Don't get me wrong. Most people might not recognize it, but high-value recognizes high-value. And what you have is not high-value, it's ego and chest-thumping. Lower yourself on your self-inflicted totem pole (i.e. have some damn humility) and you'll find yourself in the right mentality. I want to say that you have some traits that are worthwhile. In many, many areas, you SHOULD put yourself firs…
/r/seduction22/09/15 02:08 PM
3

I'm not a girl, but I imagine it's something like this. Say you're getting a blowjob. Feels good right? But then you start thinking about grandma. Now it feelsbadman.jpg.
/r/seduction04/09/15 07:10 PM
1

Julien got a lot of bad press for, well, being Julien. Google his name and search for articles around November - December 2014.
/r/seduction04/09/15 06:52 PM
7

Think about this excerpt from a Taois poem for a second. It might not do anything for you (and that's totally fine, different strokes eh?), but this was a game changer for me. The Master doesn't try to be powerful; thus he is truly powerful. The ordinary man keeps reaching for power; thus he never has enough. The Master does nothing, yet he leaves nothing undone. The ordinary man is always doing things, yet many more are left to be done. i still feel like a little kid/bitch even tho im bigger an…
/r/seduction06/08/15 02:04 PM
1

My biggest problem right now is that I'm very much a man of few words. Are you really? Or is it just a belief? Beliefs aren't necessarily bad or good. But they can limit your thinking. Is it something that you inherently are to your core? Or is it just a personality trait that you've picked up and are comfortable with (and unconsciously reinforce)?
/r/seduction06/08/15 02:00 PM
1

Please share any and all tricks that helped you get past this hampering fear. The trick is that there is no trick. You don't get past the fear and then finally do your approaches. You just approach, fear or no fear.
/r/seduction31/07/15 12:43 AM
2

Don't look at it as a situation that must be "dealt with", but make it light-hearted and turn it into a joke. Like, say you guys are already comfortable with getting physical. Tell them, "she's my sister" and then kiss her.
/r/seduction30/07/15 01:40 AM
2

Er, I don't know any boat-specific tips, but the general guidelines to seduction pretty much remain the same wherever you go. I figure we'll find a secluded spot and have picnic, drinks, and fool around. Sounds like a pretty sweet date. I think you're overthinking this. :)
/r/seduction27/07/15 08:37 PM
1

Money is just a tool, and net worth isn't exactly a great measuring stick for success. Having money for the sake of money is useless. Ask yourself, is the extra money actually getting put to use? Or is it just sitting in a bank account, stagnating from inflation, not adding any value to your life Seriously assess whether or not that extra money adds any real, substantial value for you other than feeling good from seeing a nice paycheck. IMO, if you're using that extra money for early retirement …
/r/seduction27/07/15 08:22 PM
3

Uniqlo has some nice clothing, but it can be pretty pricey. But I'd rather spending a bit more on nicer clothing that'll last a while rather than something cheap but lower quality. H&M is pretty good. Sometimes I'll rock a t-shirt with a silly pop culture reference and cargo shorts. I don't give a shit, I do what I want.
/r/seduction27/07/15 08:09 PM
2

What would make you feel worthy? What values do you value? What activities do you want to participate in? What goals do you have for yourself? It's not about doing things for the sake of doing them and then suddenly, fulfillment (though it can help you as part of your "journey"). It's about creating a life that you want to live. It's about living a life that makes you jump out of bed, feeling excited and ready to live it. It's about having a sense of purpose. Not just because someone on the Inte…
/r/seduction27/07/15 08:06 PM
1

The Feels . But that does lead me to wonder, for someone who is simply out to get his dick wet, would that same apathy/unawareness of shit test work in that lad's favor as well, or would at that point the pass/fail mentality becomes more valid? Hm, I guess it's not so much apathy/unawareness. I just emphasize it because a lot of guys here are (understandably) insecure and get super paranoid about shit tests. Like, "she's shit testing me and it must mean that I'm not demonstrating enough masculin…
/r/seduction27/07/15 07:58 PM
1

Don't do things for the sake of doing them. Why would you want them to know? Why would you not want them to know?
/r/seduction27/07/15 07:34 PM
1

So, leeeeeet me get this straight? If said girl was a 10 out 10, sexiest thing moving in the room. And she was digging you but (hypothetically) giving you shit test? You wouldn't want to hookup with her ? At all? Am i suppose to believe that ? I can totally understand not date , but a hookup....c'mon...! I'll think she's hot, don't get me wrong, but I'm in a place in my life where I want my women to have more than just looks. Plus, I'm in a place in my life where I want more fulfillment than jus…
/r/seduction27/07/15 07:31 PM
1

I'm very good at hiding my emotions, and not expressing them in a needy manner. Hmm, why do you feel as though you have to hide your emotions?
/r/seduction27/07/15 07:24 PM
20

None of this has anything to do with seduction, it's about being a sociable person Your seduction skills don't exist in a vacuum. There is a very large correlation between your ability to seduce and your ability to socialize in general. How you relate to a woman in dating is oftentimes a reflection of how you relate to people in general. Hope that doesn't come across as dick-ish. I'm just being a pedantic bastard right now, hahah.
/r/seduction27/07/15 07:16 PM
1

I'm sure there's a list of those somewhere, but honestly, I would say to just not worry about shit tests. Caring too much about shit tests is exactly how you fail them. I'm sure I get shit tested all the time, but I almost never recognize them because I just play everything off as a joke. IMHO, looking for shit tests is the wrong way to approach dating. Just don't worry about them. If you meet a woman who goes out of her way to give you shit tests, then I simply don't want to be with her anyway.…
/r/seduction27/07/15 07:13 PM
1

Hm, I'd argue that in some ways, you're not being genuine in the sense that you want to date them, but you're not taking action towards dating them. whereas I think I need to learn how to pursue them sometimes. Hell yeah! Be in the driver's seat! :) IMHO don't worry about how to pursue too much. Chances are, you already know a fair amount, you just need practice. Just go for it, whichever way it shows up for you.
/r/seduction24/07/15 04:35 PM
21

I've found that, more often than not, we try something out and then discover passion, rather than have passion and then try something out. Maybe you're in a place in your life where you just need to experiment and fuck around. Rather than worrying about being passionate before doing something, try out some hobbies and see if any passion gets developed. At least for me, it's how I discovered my career specialization as well as a good number of my hobbies. It's okay to not know what makes you feel…
/r/seduction24/07/15 04:26 PM
1

From what I gathered from your post, it seems like overall, you're being honest and authentic with them. IMO, just keep being honest and authentic with them. That's all you can really do, I think. If you have to tell them no to certain things, then you have to tell them no. I'm probably doing something wrong However, I do want to point out that despite all the things you're doing right, you're making this assumption. I think it's a telltale reflection of your thought processes. Might be worth th…
/r/seduction24/07/15 04:19 PM
1

He's asking for someone to help identify the subtle nuances and changes that occurred in his game. And even if he was bragging, there isn't much wrong with that. People are allowed to acknowledge and be proud of their accomplishments! I mean, this sub hasn't devolved into a circle jerk, so no need to hate man.
/r/seduction24/07/15 04:04 PM
1

So I guess some of this stuff works eh? You made an internal, emotional transition somewhere along your journey. Seduction has never been about the actions that you superficially take (e.g. having a cool one-liner from the internet). It's always been about the place that your actions are stemming from!
/r/seduction24/07/15 04:03 PM
1

Stop worrying about their perceptions of you, beta/alpha status, etc. etc. etc. Relax! It's pretty much irrelevant here. If you want to be more of a decision maker, than throw some suggestions out there and see if they bite. Invoke a little passion (by being passionate yourself). Alpha isn't about being a bossy boss, it's about being a leader.
/r/seduction24/07/15 03:59 PM
1

It's not about giving compliments for the sake of giving compliments. It's about saying or doing what you actually think and feel. Do you actually think she's gorgeous, and do you feel like telling her? Then tell her. Are you telling her she's gorgeous for the sake of telling her she's gorgeous? Then I'd recommend doing something that's more authentic for you. It's not about what you superficially say or do, know what I mean? It's about the place that you're coming from that drives those actions…
/r/seduction24/07/15 03:56 PM
2

Don't worry about it. If holding her bag crosses a boundary FOR YOU, then don't hold it. If you don't care, then hold it or do what you want. Guys are (understandably) too paranoid on this subreddit. Viewing everything as a shit test is either: simply observation paranoia More often than not, it falls on the latter. If you view everything as a shit test, oftentimes you'll wind up putting-off authentic, honest people because you're judging their actions as adversarial and antagonistic. You're ess…
/r/seduction24/07/15 03:43 PM
1

It's about learning how to be great at dating through honesty and authenticity (aka be a fucking boss, however that shows up for you). One of the big pitfalls in the pick-up artistry community is failing to create meaningful relationships in your life (whether platonic or romantic). Honesty and authenticity basically counteracts that.
/r/seduction24/07/15 03:37 PM
2

You don't overcome escalation anxiety and then get over it. You get over it by escalating. It's always scary when you try something new. As you get more experienced, socially-capable, etc., it becomes less scary. IMHO it's one of those things where you have to just do it, make a couple mistakes, and learn from them. Getting passed the "casual, but intimate touch" barrier is pretty much always feels awkward at the beginning. You don't get over the awkwardness and then do it, you get over the awkw…
/r/seduction24/07/15 03:35 PM
2

But something always holds me back and I hate it. That "something" is you. I don't mean that in an insulting way and I'm not saying it to put you down, though (and please definitely don't put yourself down!). The point is, there is no external entity that is holding you back. You are the one that is holding you back! This is actually pretty awesome, because it means that you have the power to change your situation. See, here's the thing. We can't actually help you. We can only guide you. There's…
/r/seduction24/07/15 02:48 PM
0

"Try a little harder and I might say yes" I would advise against this unless you really know that it would be appropriate for the situation. Many guys mess it up with girls who like them because they try too hard to be all super-cool and suave. They're basically not being the version of them that attracted the girl in the first place. Too often guys fall into the trap of trying to say super-duper-cool one liners because it sounds all cool and shit over the internet, but when put into practice in…
/r/seduction22/07/15 02:06 PM
1

What ideas/reading would you guys give me to help me understand women better in general Try Model's by Mark Manson. It might not help you directly with "here's the ABCs of how to relate to women!", but it deals with being honest and authentic, traits that are fundamentally needed if you want real connection. Look, some people just aren't worth connecting with. I mean yeah, emphathize with them, understand that they also have deep thoughts and emotions, and recognize that they're just human. But …
/r/seduction21/07/15 12:38 PM
2

Get enough sleep, stay hydrated, and eat healthy. It's a lot easier to be funny and shit when your body is feeling good and fueled! Everyone needs to warmup. Sometimes, I might just sing in the shower or something. Down the line, as you get more and more experience, stop looking at "socializing" as something that you have to go out of your way to do. Rather, start looking at it as something that is just a part of you. Like trained instinct, in a way.
/r/seduction17/07/15 10:40 PM
3

Homie, just because you dislike a piece of advice doesn't make it bad. You're not going to see the value in something if you disregard it before giving it consideration. Like, what prevents you from asking yourself, "how can I be more awesome or funny or chill?" rather than going, "how come you're not spoonfeeding me!?!?" The thing is, asking for a specific methods means you're fundamentally approaching this from the wrong mindset. It doesn't matter if we answered your questions because you're a…
/r/seduction10/07/15 03:12 PM
1

You're looking for the wrong things, man.
/r/seduction10/07/15 03:06 PM
1

Seduction isn't about having a step-by-step list of what to do. That's not how socializing works. It's about following general principles/guidelines from which you can extrapolate information for specific situations. How you learn the implementation of these principles comes from practice and experience. The problem is that you're fundamentally approaching this whole thing with the wrong mindset. There really isn't a "what to do" with the girl, because that varies from situation to situation, gi…
/r/seduction10/07/15 03:05 PM
2

I know this doesn't answer the question, but this post makes me wonder why you're wearing something for others to start a conversation rather than being proactive and approaching others yourself?
/r/seduction10/07/15 02:56 PM
1

What does a night out or an interaction with a woman look like for you? Be as detailed as possible.
/r/seduction10/07/15 01:43 PM
1

Handling situations like these isn't so much about what you're doing, but who are you being. You can technically do the right things, but if your "being" is off-point, then it doesn't really a matter.
/r/seduction10/07/15 01:34 PM
2

Instead of playing games to build confidence, you should consider actually socializing and build your confidence through skill and experience, rather than games. I'm not saying that to be pedantic or condescending, but the thing is, if you're always approaching this is as "what game should I play?", then you might not be developing the core skill set needed to actually have that confidence, know what I mean?
/r/seduction09/07/15 09:42 PM
2

I don't go to bars too often these days, but when I do go, I usually don't drink. Maybe 1 drink to loosen up, but I don't really do it that often.
/r/seduction09/07/15 09:02 PM
2

You don't need to drink at bars. I almost never do. Just sayin'. You can try some social hobbies. Like take a comedy class or cooking class or dancing class. Or if you're in a book shop and you happen to see a cutie, start chatting with her. Or shit, if you live in a big city, just walk down the street or hang out in a park. Honestly, you can meet women anywhere that has women.
/r/seduction09/07/15 08:59 PM
1

You don't beat AA and then approach. You beat AA by approaching. Like CoffeeNSquats says, if you really were willing to do anything, then you would've done it. I'm not saying that to shit on your life or anything, but to be real with you so you can be honest with yourself.
/r/seduction09/07/15 01:38 PM
1

I am trying to bulk up but couldn't add any weight so far. My arms are that of 17 yr old. What is your diet plan and exercise regiment? Do you know how much of a calorie surplus you need, are you meeting that surplus, and are you doing resistance training? I am entering the field and want some a girl to hangout, date or have sex. I have already finished reading Models and sidebar info. It's time to start applying what you've learned. We literally cannot help you any further unless you put things…
/r/seduction09/07/15 01:35 PM
5

Homie, you have TERRIBLE confirmation bias! Your brain is subconsciously cherry-picking evidence that you're a loser, but totally disregarding evidence that says you're a fucking BOSS. Re-read this again: and then another one gave me a blowjob while I worked on my paper. Dude. That's AWESOME. You are way too hard on yourself! Do you consider yourself as someone who's mean to others? Do you think that you're a douchebag bully? Probably not. So why the hell are you bullying yourself!? How do I com…
/r/seduction09/07/15 01:30 PM
2

How you relate to someone is, generally speaking, a reflection of how you relate to most people in your life. Think about that one for a bit. In other words, yeah, it's just like any other girl!
/r/seduction09/07/15 01:21 PM
2

You described yourself as if you were reading off a resume, and a lot of those things are important, but what about the non-tangibles? To put it bluntly, are you enjoyable to talk to/be around?
/r/seduction08/07/15 10:07 PM
3

Tell the voices in your head to leave you the fuck alone. Tell them, "look, I know y'all keep saying this shit is creepy, but it seems like she's into me, and it will be fun for us both". Remember, sex is a fun, win-win event! Assuming she's into you, she's getting something out of this too! Tell the voices in your head to fuck off, because chances are, if girls are telling you that they would've fucked you, then you aren't some creepy shmuck. You're just attaching a bunch of negative nonsense o…
/r/seduction08/07/15 10:05 PM
5

I wanna get out there Do it, you big-dicked motherfucker! Sorry man, but there's no mystical sage advice that will magically transform you into a sexual god. Most of success, whether it's dating or finances or whatever, comes from pushing your comfort zone and taking action. There's plenty of information in the sidebar that you can look up. But that information means jack shit if you're not taking action. You just need to do it. Think of how it'll feel when you're at a place in your life when yo…
/r/seduction08/07/15 09:55 PM
2

You listen to the other person and see how they're reacting to your actions. It's not about placing arbitrary limits like, "I've talked for <x> minutes, time to switch gears". It's about listening to her verbal and non-verbal communication and understanding what effect you're having on them. Basically, have a good sense of empathy. And if you don't, socialize and practice!
/r/seduction08/07/15 09:54 PM
4

Have fun. Seriously. Stop looking for more tips or advice or whatever. You're just going to overload your brain with information you're never going to able to use. 95% of seduction comes from practice and experience. Just go with what you know now and have fun with her on your date. You'll learn all the "tips" and shit as you go out on more dates. What you're doing right now is like trying to learn how to ride a bicycle through a textbook. It doesn't work like that. Relax and take a deep breath.…
/r/seduction08/07/15 09:51 PM
1

Homie. Manhattan is amazing. Beautiful women EVERYWHERE, on virtually every single god damn block. I've lived in the city my entire life, and I still think to myself, "HOLY FUCKING SHIT THESE WOMEN ARE BEAUTIFUL" (well, at least when I'm feeling giddy and shit). You're going to have a lot of fun.
/r/seduction08/07/15 05:07 AM
1

Yes. At the end of the day, it's not about dat mass. You can be the swolest motherfucker on the block and still have the social skills of a 3 year old. Know what I mean?
/r/seduction08/07/15 05:03 AM
1

Why do you need something clever? A clever line won't magically change her mind if she simply isn't attracted to you. And if it does work, it's not because of the line, but you. Looking for a clever line is a waste of time, IMHO.
/r/seduction08/07/15 05:00 AM
1

I think there are two parts to this. One is the technical skill, and the other part is just fucking do it! For technical skill, check out the Vin DiCarlo escalation ladder. I haven't really checked it out myself, but I heard it's definitely something worth looking into. For the "just fucking do it"... look, if this is something you've never done before, then its going to feel awkward and scary. There's no going around that at all. But theres a reason why confident men are confident. They've gone…
/r/seduction08/07/15 04:56 AM
0

I think you're presenting a false dichotomy here. It's not about simply receiving a phone number. Girls give phone numbers all the time. It doesn't mean they're attracted to you, willing to date you, willing to fuck you, whatever. Maybe they gave you a fake number. Or maybe they just gave you a number to get you off their back. Maybe they never plan on picking up the phone. It's not about just getting a number. It's about creating an emotional connection with her so that she actually likes you a…
/r/seduction08/07/15 04:48 AM
1

Create an actual connection with the woman, and she'll be more inclined to give you her number. If you have real rapport with her, then she views you as an actual person with thoughts and feelings, rather than some faceless mook.
/r/seduction08/07/15 04:43 AM
11

I'm going to assume that right now, your goals are centered around having fun, getting laid, and partying. You can still do all those things, but start thinking in terms of seeking connection and intimacy rather than just trying to get laid. I mean, you're not going to click with every girl you meet. Finding someone who just "clicks" doesn't happen all the time, so it's not a huge deal if you don't care about certain girls. But if you're too unattached, then I'm going to guess that you're not ma…
/r/seduction24/06/15 12:13 PM
6

You don't get balls and then do it. You just do it, balls or no balls. :) Risking is where the real rewards come from. Embrace it.
/r/seduction24/06/15 02:02 AM
1

From what information are you drawing this conclusion from?
/r/seduction01/06/15 03:48 AM
2

Tell a story that you actually care about. Don't tell stories for the sake of telling a story. Tell a story because you're genuinely passionate about the topic. Remember, you're not telling a story to impress her (it can be a motivator, but it shouldn't be your #1 motivator). You're telling a story as a form of self-expression, as a way for her to get a peek into your life.
/r/seduction01/06/15 03:43 AM
3

Relax. Take a deep breath, drink some tea, and chill out. Based on the fact that you care about her satisfaction and is willing to learn, you are already doing better than the a LOT of the guys out there. Now, I don't know if you have a medical condition and I'm not a psychologist or anything, but my advice to you would be to relax! Sex is about letting loose and having fun, it's not (necessarily) a super-serious act. I know it can be hard to "just relax" if you're not already relaxed, but I thi…
/r/seduction01/06/15 03:42 AM
1

Based on what you and others posted here, I'd say your relationship might be going to a dry spell. She might not be super romatic lovey-dovey right now, but it doesn't mean she's cheating on you or anything. Maybe the relationship just lost its spark; there's a chance you could rekindle it. It's not, "maybe she never liked me all along". It could just be that the relationship is getting boring, for whatever reason. I.e. "the spark went away" rather than "there was never any spark". That being sa…
/r/seduction01/06/15 03:35 AM
6

It's not about the things you do superficially. You could be a skydiving enthusiast and still be dull. It's about having genuine passions in your life. If you don't have some, experiment around and try out new things. Usually, you aren't passionate about something and then try it out. You try it out, see if you like it, and then develop passion. So don't be afraid of trying out some shit! Have fun with it and play around.
/r/seduction31/05/15 08:32 PM
4

You don't necessarily need to be funny or witty. Maybe try being serious for a bit and seeing how that works out for you. IMO, a lot of game is about discovering what kind of women you want to be with and learning more about the different aspects of your personality. You might end up discovering aspects of yourself you didn't know existed. And you might end up drawing out aspects of those women that you haven't experienced before. Hell, you might find yourself looking at newer types of women and…
/r/seduction30/05/15 06:27 PM
3

Yeah, this can be pretty annoying. Especially if your friends are just choding around after your approach and they dull the whole vibe. But on the other hand, leaders help others succeed. They raise those around them. Not necessarily in a "get on my level" kind of way, but rather, "let's make this a win-win". You can be that leader. Talk to your friends about your concerns. You'd be surprised by the number of problems that are easily solvable with good communication. Being selfish isn't necessar…
/r/seduction30/05/15 06:22 PM
1

Use your legs to propel yourself in her direction, and once you're in close-enough proximity, push wind out of your facial orifices to make sounds.
/r/seduction28/05/15 03:41 PM
1

Literally anywhere with women. Literally anywhere with women. And I'm not using the word "literally" as a substitute for "figuratively". I literally mean literally. Also, you could simply not drink. You don't have to drink to be at a bar or club or etc.
/r/seduction28/05/15 03:33 PM
1

I don't like to drink so the bar situation isn't my thing. You don't have to drink alcohol to have fun at bars. What is it about bars that makes you want to avoid them? They can be GREAT venues for meeting intelligent, thoughtful women. Do you have any basic tips for flirting or just talking to women? Yes. You don't learn seduction/social skills through "basic tips". You learn through practice, commitment, being open-minded, and being willing to take risks. The sidebar is a good place to start.
/r/seduction27/05/15 10:26 PM
2

There is no "most important advice". You're looking for a magic pill that doesn't exist. ANYTHING that's good in life requires time, patience, effort, and commitment. There is no piece of advice that will magically, suddenly transform you into a dating god.
/r/seduction27/05/15 10:20 PM
8

IMHO, the problem isn't that you need to work on your social skills. The problem is that you care so much about a single girl that you're essentially setting yourself up for failure since you're putting all of your eggs in one basket. You're inherently coming from a place of putting her on a pedestal. The only way to love someone (whether it's a FWB, casual sex, long-term relationship, whatever) is to love them in a way where they feel free. Right now, you're putting to much pressure on yourself…
/r/seduction27/05/15 10:18 PM
2

There's no point trying to speculate her intentions. Even though we can make very educated guesses, it's ultimately just mental masturbation. Oftentimes, the reality is much different then the shit that we make up in our head. Do you really want an answer? Just ask her. How do you guys react when a girl does this to you? I don't react. Am I acting right? No, you're not. But I don't mean that in an insulting way. Sometimes we just don't know any better (and we can argue over the notion of what's …
/r/seduction27/05/15 10:15 PM
2

You don't need to know what to say in order to approach.
/r/seduction27/05/15 10:10 PM
1

Learn from your regret and take action, rather than continue this cycle. Because it doesn't sound like you've actually learned from it; it seems like you're still doing the same shit that you regret doing. Which is okay. Maybe this is something you need to experience before you finally start taking action. But you have to start. "If you do not change direction, then you may end up where you are headed."
/r/seduction27/05/15 10:08 PM
3

$5-$20 per person? Generally, I lean towards not paying, I don't really care either way. Whether or not the date goes well, I make enough so that this doesn't affect my budget. If she expects me to pay for a $100 on a first date? Hahah get out of here, I could probably suck my own dick better than she can. For someone that's intermediate, I'd ask them, "are YOU okay with paying for them?" That's really something they should decide for themselves. What's YOUR limit? For someone who's new and isn'…
/r/seduction27/05/15 10:05 PM
3

Good seduction is NOT about donning on a +30 charisma breast plate and suddenly appearing all cool and suave. Good seduction is about actually BEING an alpha male. Not simply emulating the characteristics of one. It takes time, effort, and commitment. It's about learning to love and accept yourself while still striving to be the best you can be. That takes time, practice, and a lot of life experience. There is NO magic pill that will suddenly transform you, even if we gave you the answers to you…
/r/seduction27/05/15 09:34 PM
11

Most people want to get laid, but they don't want to be used just to have sex. Most guys approach girls basically like, "I want to use you as a hole to masturbate myself with". Basically, dudes be thirsty as fuck. Create a real connection with them. It doesn't have to be deep, but create a connection with them. Most dudes make sex/dating/hooking up a win-lose situation, which is why a lot of girls say "no hookups". If you make it a win-win situation, then girls will generally want to hang around…
/r/seduction17/05/15 10:26 PM
15

You want to actually create some sort of connection with her. Girls can give numbers, but it doesn't necessarily mean it'll lead to anything. What you do is really a case-by-case kind of thing. Rather, you should be focusing on general principles that can guide your actions in many situations, rather than look for specific things to do for specific situations. The idea is, it's not about saying or doing the "right" things. It's about being (or becoming) the type of person who naturally does the …
/r/seduction17/05/15 10:19 PM
2

I say this in almost every "thank you Seddit thread!" Take a minute to thank yourself! Seriously. Acknowledge yourself and your growth, you deserved it. Because the thing is, Seddit hasn't done anything for you. Seddit can only give you a road map. It's up to you to walk the road, and man, are you fucking walking it. So give yourself a pat on the back before you give one to Seddit. What am I missing? Well, where do you think you could use some more growth? If you have the basics down, you have a…
/r/seduction15/05/15 09:39 PM
3

The world is a big place.
/r/seduction15/05/15 09:36 PM
3

No. Because then you'll be stronger, sure, but you'll still have the same social skills that you do now. To be perfectly blunt with you, you're using "I'll wait until I get stronger" as an excuse to avoid pushing your comfort zone. Your skinnyness isn't an issue in the dating world. Plenty of skinny dudes get laid. ;)
/r/seduction15/05/15 09:35 PM
1

Practicing game and desiring a committed relationship are not mutually exclusive. Practicing game means getting life experience with women in general. That experience is vital for meeting "quality women" (whatever that means to you) and maintaining a relationship with such a woman. Getting a girlfriend in college is extremely easy. Only if you already have some base level of social skills. If your social skills are borderline autistic (sorry, no offense to anyone who's actually autistic), then i…
/r/seduction15/05/15 09:22 PM
23

The more you wait, the more you wait.
/r/seduction15/05/15 03:23 AM
3

You might like "Models" by Mark Manson. It's a great book that talks about this subject with respect to dating. An alternate title could be, "How to Get Laid By Being Real as Fuck".
/r/seduction07/05/15 03:34 AM
7

"I can't wait to divorce you <3"
/r/seduction07/05/15 12:28 AM
1

Not necessarily, but it's a possibility.
/r/seduction07/05/15 12:27 AM
1

Not sure honestly, there are so many possibilities, it's kind of like saying, "how do I math?" Not sure where to start really without knowing who you are. It could be you're just a little afraid of physicality or it could be you're terrified of women because your mom beat you as a kid. Maybe, try to identify any triggers when you're with a woman. I'm a little divided on this. On one hand, I want to say, it doesn't matter what you're afraid of because the cause of the fear isn't as important as t…
/r/seduction06/05/15 12:48 PM
1

It's not that you cannot close. You choose not to close. When you're faced with a situation that forces you to push your comfort zone, you make the conscious decision to not do it. It's hard, and I get it. But you're the one in charge of your life. You can choose right next time. ;)
/r/seduction05/05/15 12:50 PM
1

The same way you open with girls in other areas. How you do something is how you everything. If still don't know how, there should be plenty of resources on the sidebar.
/r/seduction05/05/15 12:46 PM
1

Have fun. Don't have a strategy per se. Have fun and people will naturally gravitate towards you.
/r/seduction05/05/15 12:42 PM
1

Hitting up bars and clubs forces most people to get out of their comfort zone. Expanding your comfort zone is how you build confidence and life experience.
/r/seduction05/05/15 12:41 PM
1

It's not about the actions that you're doing, but who you're being in the moment. It sounds like you're subconsciously communicating, "I'm a bitch". It's not about saying "no", though it certain helps. It's about being the type of person who people wouldn't take for granted. I'm guessing you're in a phase where you're seeking approval or validation. Like you can do alpha actions, but if you're still beta on the inside, then it'll still be beta shit. That being said, don't make it a competition o…
/r/seduction05/05/15 12:36 PM
1

There is no "how to let go". You simply let go. Take a risk and live in the moment rather than your head. You don't know how to relax because you're afraid of something. Take a deep breath, and let it out gently. Take another deep breath, and let it out with a sigh. Now, just relax.
/r/seduction05/05/15 12:26 PM
3

Just be real and honest as fuck and admit to yourself that you're nervous. Whatever you resist will persist. If nervousness is what's authentic for you in that moment, then just say, "wow I'm nervous but I really wanted to meet you". It's much better than trying too hard to be all super-suave and cool. Like everyone call tell you "bro she's not special" and I'm sure you already know it. But you can't always use your intellect to override your emotions since oftentimes, our thoughts are driven by…
/r/seduction05/05/15 12:24 PM
1

Have other shit going on in your life that gives you purpose and meaning.
/r/seduction01/05/15 04:13 PM
82

If you're looking at it through the lens of "has it worked", then there's a good chance you don't really understand what Manson is trying to say. Honesty and vulnerability isn't a technique that you employ. It's about actually being honest and vulnerable, not just emulating it. If you want real relationships and friendships, then honesty and vulnerability are crucial and necessary. Of course you need to meet the right people. But honesty and vulnerability is just another way of saying, "be real …
/r/seduction01/05/15 04:06 PM
2

But how do you deal with rejection after a string of successes? Do you shrug it off and keep learning along the way? Don't even look at it as rejection in the first place! Or was there something you found you could improve on, even though you already have a decent start with kino, escalating, etc? You could just keep practicing what you know and reinforce those skills. Along the way, you'll likely notice other areas that could be improved upon. Like maybe a girl said a joke that got you butthurt…
/r/seduction29/04/15 12:23 PM
3

Yus! Sorry if I sounded like an asshole above. It's like every time I feel that I'm being neutral, I'll come back to the post in an hour and I feel like I sounded like a total dick. Anyway, good luck on your shit man.
/r/seduction23/04/15 03:31 AM
1

Your looks form a very little part of seduction. What do you want to gain out of this thread? Do you just want to vent? Or are you looking for actionable advice? It's totally fine either way. I'm asking because YOU need to get clear on what YOU want. Otherwise, if you don't have a real focus, then you won't get anywhere.
/r/seduction22/04/15 09:59 PM
4

Don't make it awkward. And don't tell me that it's not creepy unless I make it that way, cuz I really need something solid here. You don't get to pick and choose what's considered good advice. The issue is that you're inherently viewing a neutral gesture as a creepy thing. If you stop viewing it as creepy (and obviously apply some basic social intelligence), then it won't be creepy. So if you don't want to be creepy, you need to not make it creepy. Leaning in isn't inherently creepy. It's the im…
/r/seduction22/04/15 09:55 PM
22

Stop, stop, stop. You can mentally masturbate about the most optimal conversation topics all you want, but it means shit because you're intrinsically coming from the wrong mindset. Stop focusing on what to say. Unless you're having a philosophical debate or something, socializing isn't about a logical transfer of information. It's about creating an emotional connection, even if that connection only lasts for ten minutes. Instead of asking yourself, "what do I say?", ask yourself, "how can I crea…
/r/seduction22/04/15 09:42 PM
1

The thing is, as he is right now, he could go for it aggressively or not do anything and still pretty much receive the same outcome. It's not about the actions that he's doing, but what's driving those actions. Check out this video. It's the same principle. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHSaEPVSVEE
/r/seduction17/04/15 03:45 AM
1

Do you want to make her happy because you want to get validation or approval? Or do you want to make her happy because you genuinely, genuinely want another person to be happy, expecting absolutely nothing in return? It's like the difference between being a nice guy and a "nice guy". A "nice guy" does nice things because he's trying to get something out of the relationship, whether sex or validation or approval. A nice guy does nice things because he genuinely believes in spreading positivity. T…
/r/seduction17/04/15 03:43 AM
2

That may help. But again, I really urge to ask yourself, "who am I being?" You can carry out those actions superficially, and you might see some success. But unless you address the underlying issue, these problems are just going to resurface. I feel that you're focusing only on what's happening superficially. Again, it's not about the actions you carry out. It's about the thoughts, beliefs, and emotions that are driving those actions. I cannot stress this enough. It's not about what you do. It's…
/r/seduction17/04/15 03:24 AM
1

You're almost ALWAYS better off admitting you're nervous or whatever rather than trying too hard to seem cool. While honesty is great, you're using honesty as an excuse to avoid taking action. Straight up. You don't want to be responsible so you're delegating it to her. A date isn't about the activity that you guys do. Like if a girl goes out with you, she goes out with you because she wants to hang out with you. It's not because that coffee shop makes great lattes or that restaurant has awesome…
/r/seduction17/04/15 02:52 AM
1

You need other shit going on in your life besides women. Like you said, you can talk to other women to "build your confidence", but unless you change what you value in life, chances are, you're always going to find yourself pining over some girl. (By the way, good shit on recognizing that. Seriously. It's awesome tat you recognize it.) Find other things that bring value to your life. It could be a hobby, a creative outlet, hanging with your friends, learning a new skill, furthering your career, …
/r/seduction17/04/15 02:36 AM
1

Honestly dude, without knowing anything about you, it's near impossible to figure out what's going on. Maybe you're coming on too strong. Maybe you're being fake/too "game-y"/inauthentic. Maybe you're not going strong enough. Maybe you're not building enough comfort or rapport. Maybe you're coming across as creepy or awkward or needy Without getting a picture of who you are, we can't really say what's going on. Ask yourself, "what are the thoughts, beliefs, and emotions that are driving my actio…
/r/seduction17/04/15 02:29 AM
1

What I'm wondering is if the way I add to conversations like this is wrong, or if I'm just talking to the wrong people or what. It's not "wrong" per se, but it looks like it could use some tweaking. Maybe you're just meeting the wrong people, it's totally possible. But I doubt that's the only (and most relevant) factor. One thing that strikes me is, are you trying to create an actual connection with them? Or are you just doing a monologue in their presence? Being passionate about your interests …
/r/seduction17/04/15 02:22 AM
3

She claims I "do everything right" so she doesn't know why the passion isn't there. You can do the right things, but it's not as important as who you're being. In other words, what are the thoughts, beliefs, and emotions that are driving your actions? Now, please don't get offended if I'm wrong, I know I'm going to make some assumptions that may not be true. But I'm willing to bet that you're basically being a chode around her. Maybe you're being emotionally needy/clingy or you're not being a le…
/r/seduction17/04/15 02:17 AM
3

Hold the phone here. What do you mean by "shit test" and why do you need responses? Do you just want some light-hearted ammo when y'all are doing some friendly teasing? Or do you want cool one-liners so you feel like you can "win" an interaction? In a good relationship, you shouldn't need to deal with shit tests unless we're just talking about friendly teasing. Otherwise, all you're saying is that your relationship has poor communication and a bunch of pettiness. Don't try to "game" your relatio…
/r/seduction17/04/15 02:05 AM
1

Now she is keen isn't she? The signs suggest it, but honestly, you'll never know unless you go for it. We can speculate all we want, but it's just speculation. Go for it! You got nothing to lose. If she says yes, then you got a date. If she says no, then you get good practice and experience!
/r/seduction17/04/15 01:58 AM
2

How far are you willing to drive for a girl? That's really for you to decide. It's up to you to decide whether your time and effort is worth so-and-so distance for so-and-so girl. On a coffee date, do I buy both of the drinks? Honestly, if you want to. It doesn't really matter all that much IMO. I won't buy a girl a $50 meal for a first date, but for a $5 coffee date, I don't really care whether I save it or keep it.
/r/seduction17/04/15 01:56 AM
2

You can go for a hug or a high-five. Shaking hands doesn't have to be formal, it can even be a pretty intimate thing since you're basically holding hands for a brief moment. To add onto what cmiovino is saying, you might notice that sometimes the girl will even keep her hand lingering with yours. I get that it can feel super-formal sometimes, but IMO, it's not so much the handshake itself, but the emotions that are surrounding it. But yeah, hugs or high-fives are pretty good alternatives.
/r/seduction17/04/15 01:54 AM
2

Oh, whoops, I went all gung-ho without trying to figure out where you're coming from. Yeah, we're pretty much on the same page, hahah.
/r/seduction10/04/15 03:55 PM
6

It's just that looks are far more important than status. This is COMPLETELY false. Absolutely, 100% false. Good looks might get initial interest, but ACTUALLY picking up the girl requires status.
/r/seduction10/04/15 03:26 PM
4

PoN: Seems like it, those poor naive girls Me: Thanks for letting me know Them: Are you being serious or sarcastic? Me: No really, thanks for letting me know instead of just not saying anything at all. I am always trying my best to become a better person Now, I don't know the context of the situation at all, but based on this, it sounds like they were trying to tease you (i.e. flirt) and you just assumed that they were trying to insult you or call you out or whatever. So if that's the case, then…
/r/seduction10/04/15 03:24 PM
1

If you're asking for curiosity, then sorry, I don't really have an answer for you. If you're asking because you're trying to get better at pickup, then I think you're asking the wrong questions. In the end, women are more attracted to behaviors than objects. Clothes don't matter as much as having a great personality, being confident, having an awesome lifestyle, etc. And I don't think discovering whether primal instinct or consumer culture as the determining factor would help you pickup anyway. …
/r/seduction10/04/15 03:17 PM
12

Break down exactly how you're spending your time. Actually take a good look at what you spend your time doing. Balancing school, health, and a social life isn't easy, but 95% of the time, it ain't exactly hard either. Like think of all those times you spend watching Netflix or playing videogames or etc (assuming you do those things). Do something else instead. Like I work a full-time job and I'm able to balance having a social life, exercising, trying out new hobbies, going to events, etc. It ju…
/r/seduction10/04/15 03:10 PM
2

That's kind of like trying to learn how to ride a bike through a textbook. Pickup and social skills are learned through PRACTICE. Articles, YouTube videos, etc. are only there to act as maps. You still have to actually navigate through that map. Like dude, you could have the largest arsenal of pickup lines in your head. But if, say, you're an emotionally unstable dude who's socially awkward, then those pickup lines ain't gonna help you much. Going out, getting some pickup practice, making friend…
/r/seduction10/04/15 05:25 AM
1

It can be a good opportunity for you to reflect, "maybe there's something that I'm doing or being that causes this reaction in women".
/r/seduction10/04/15 05:20 AM
1

Unless you have the facts to prove what's going on, it's honestly not worth the time and energy to answer this question. All you're gonna do is armchair mental masturbation along with a shitload of negative judgements for people you don't really know. Just do you and the pieces will fall where they'll fall.
/r/seduction10/04/15 05:15 AM
2

You're creating a glass wall (i.e. nonexistent) between you and who you perceive as "popular kids". IMHO, more exposure and experience would help. As you get acclimated, you realize that they're human too, not the status symbols that you've created in your head. IMHO, it's not one of those things that you can "intellectualize" away. You gotta take action. It helps to remember to just relax. You've broken out of your shell? Awesome! Give yourself a pat on the back. Seriously. It might feel stupid…
/r/seduction10/04/15 05:11 AM
1

Your self-consciousness over your looks matters so much more than your looks. I'm not saying that to make you more self-conscious. The point is, relax. It doesn't matter as much as you think it does. Just do your best to take care of it and don't worry about it. Seriously. I can't emphasize it enough especially since it's easy to logically understand things without truly, emotionally understanding it on a very deep level (e.g. knowing how to play basketball vs. actually playing basketball). Look…
/r/seduction10/04/15 05:09 AM
3

Chances are slim. But there's ultimately no way to know unless you just ask her out. Signs are just signs, not definite proof.
/r/seduction10/04/15 05:07 AM
4

What kind of help are you looking for? In other words, what's your "goal" out of this? Just wondering because you haven't actually asked a question.
/r/seduction10/04/15 05:06 AM
5

You're blanking because you're overthinking what to say. It's not about having the largest arsenal of witty one-liners. It's about being very emotionally grounded so you know how to act in situations as they come. So don't worry about the "doing" aspect, but rather, focus who you're "being". Don't focus on having a great line to respond with. When you're in the zone, your brain will automatically throw you amazing shit to say.
/r/seduction10/04/15 04:55 AM
3

Oh, just a sidenote. Abundance isn't something you "achieve". It's something you "tap into to". Having an abundance mentality doesn't require some set of trials before you can attain it. It basically just means you're in an emotional state where you feel abundance and recognize it. Getting a lot of experience and practice can help you tap into abundance, but it's not necessary.
/r/seduction10/04/15 04:51 AM
2

Have fun and enjoy! Pack water and some snacks. (totally serious btw. relax and enjoy, don't worry about tips, it'll prevent you from having a good date)
/r/seduction07/04/15 02:21 PM
2

Compliment the things you truly want to compliment. Don't compliment for the sake of complimenting.
/r/seduction07/04/15 02:20 PM
12

Approach girls. Have a creative outlet. Party with my friends. Or just chill with them. Read a book. Do well in my career. Build my finances. Have sex. Go to concerts. Grab dinner with friends. Learn a new skill. Exercise and eat healthy. In other words, have a life that you love. I love myself and my life. If a particular girl says no to me, it won't really affect me because I'm happy with or without her. There are many ways to go about building confidence. This is just what I've been focusing …
/r/seduction07/04/15 02:17 PM
3

It means be real and authentic. Be willing to show who you really are. Be willing to face the fact that some people might not like you (and that's okay). It means being true to yourself and going with your gut. It means being honest. It's not something you do. It's about who you are. I would suggest to stop trying to intellectualize what it means to be vulnerable, because for you, it might push you further away from your vulnerability. If you have to ask what it means to be vulnerable, then you …
/r/seduction07/04/15 02:13 PM
4

Have a life, essentially. The point is to have good shit in your life (it doesn't have to be women) so that if one particular girl says "no", it doesn't matter all that much.
/r/seduction07/04/15 02:09 PM
1

Don't worry about the appearance of being desperate. Just don't be desperate and you won't appear that way. How do you find a balance? Have other shit going on in your life so that you're focus in life isn't just on women. That way if a girl says "no", it doesn't impact your life in a huge way (if at all).
/r/seduction07/04/15 02:04 PM
2

Have other girls in your life. Have hobbies you enjoy. Make/Have friends that you care about. Go to events that you find fun. Have a skill you want to perfect. Have a creative outlet. etc. In other words, have a life.
/r/seduction02/04/15 02:22 PM
1

Or you could learn to authentically not be needy. 99% of the time, people aren't "naturally" needy. It's more a reflection of their life circumstances. Most people are needy because they have beliefs that they're unattractive or unworthy or they can't have girls because of their height or money or looks or whatever. So they're stuck in a scarcity mentality. Most people who are emotionally grounded (at least with respect to women) are not needy. If you're needy, then chances are, you're not emoti…
/r/seduction02/04/15 02:21 PM
3

Honestly, the fact that you assumed he was taking it on a personal level is more a reflection of your judgements then a reflection of reality.
/r/seduction02/04/15 02:16 PM
1

Be authentic and vulnerable, and by doing so, you'll draw out their authentic and vulnerable side. awakenedalpha's "give more of what you want to receive" may sound like New Age bullshit, but it's how dating works. If you want to use PUA lingo, then we can just call it "state transference".
/r/seduction27/03/15 05:36 AM
1

I have a huge fear of coming off creepy and it seems like the few times where I really went out of my shell and hit on the other people rather than having them hit on my went incredibly terribly. There's a concept in PUA called "state transference". The idea is, whatever you're feeling, they're feeling. So if you want someone to be authentic or chill or whatever, then you have to be those things first and draw out that side of their personality. You have to be willing to be authentic and vulnera…
/r/seduction27/03/15 05:30 AM
178

IMHO it's worth pointing out (and I think you were going for this) that being opinionated for the sake of being opinionated is pretty stupid. I think the point the OP was trying to make is that you should have your own worldview and personal values and etc. In other words, have a real personality. Not, "time to employ my 'be opinionated' tactic!"
/r/seduction27/03/15 05:09 AM
9

You're correct, but I think it's worth pointing out that the OP hasn't said he views women solely as sexual objects. You can fuck someone like a they're a dirty little slut while still respecting their intelligence, boundaries, and personal integrity. ;)
/r/seduction27/03/15 05:06 AM
7

IMHO, playing games is a waste of your time and energy. All it does is set the stage for a relationship where both of you are being fake. It's just building a toxic relationship, and I personally have no room in my life for toxic relationships. If a girl thinks that I'm playing hard to get, it's not because I'm trying to play bullshit games. It's because I'm actually busy in my life and I have shit to do. I personally don't care about trying to fuck as many girls as possible, so I don't try to i…
/r/seduction25/03/15 03:49 AM
3

If you think you might really like a particular girl, then give it a shot and see what happens. Picking up and fucking different girls is a lot of fun. Being in a great relationship is also a lot of fun. You are always eliminating possibilities in life. Every time you make a choice, you've erased the possibility that you could've made another choice. It's nice to fantasize "what if", but if you're enjoying yourself in the moment (whether it's dating around or monogamy), then it's time well spent…
/r/seduction25/03/15 03:37 AM
1

I agree with you and you're totally correct. I've just had a hard-on for zen shit recently... heh.
/r/seduction25/03/15 01:53 AM
6

YOU have to be real and authentic. You have to be willing to show your real side because it makes others show theirs. Care more about getting to know the other person than your anxieties and self-doubts and so-on. Like, if you're trying to look for a technique to create a personal connection, then you're not actually creating a personal connection because you're not being personal. You're trying to use a robotic technique rather than actually try to create a connection.
/r/seduction24/03/15 12:44 PM
2

"Alpha" is a mentality, not a function of physical prowess. Besides, height isn't inherently more physically advantageous.
/r/seduction24/03/15 12:31 PM
1

But that's not how "real" attraction works. I'm gonna be perfectly blunt with you. It seems that you're looking for validation, not to actually date or get laid. Good luck with that. There's been a lot of good advice given to this thread. Whether you take it or leave it is your choice.
/r/seduction24/03/15 12:25 PM
1

Yeah.. if I get a gorgeous girl in bed and she's half-naked.. I'm pretty much willing to tell her I landed on the moon. That's a scarcity mentality, man. It's putting her on a pedestal. It's okay if you feel this way, but you should be aware (from an objective standpoint) of what mentality you currently hold. The fact that you say you don't lie at all makes you a liar. I ain't a perfect person and I never said I never lie. But when it comes to dating, I make it a personal goal to be real as fuck…
/r/seduction24/03/15 04:02 AM
1

Sure, that's what happening physically. But feeling that you look up to women and feeling that you're smaller/weaker than other men is not about your height. There will always be a reason we use to put ourselves down, whether it's our height or money or looks or dick size or whatever. And then we have contests over who is the bigger victim. Height matters much less than you think it does. You may not understand it now, but height is ultimately a very unimportant trait when compared to your perso…
/r/seduction24/03/15 03:41 AM
1

Huh?
/r/seduction23/03/15 08:52 PM
2

They're successful if you want to get laid, sure. Not so successful if you value personal integrity and meaningful relationships (even if that relationship lasts only a night). Again, these are just my personal goals for dating. If they're not yours, then it's okay (assuming you're not hurting anyone). Like with this: 'Promise, I'm not one of those guys that fucks you and then never calls you back..' I'd just tell her straight up that I'm not gonna call her again. If she's not down with that, th…
/r/seduction23/03/15 08:50 PM
2

I wish you would have rubbed that in his face, but that would have likely escalated to a fight. Hate to be a nitpicky dick, but rubbing shit in other peoples' faces is honestly pretty beta. Alphas don't need to gloat, they just do their thing.
/r/seduction23/03/15 08:14 PM
1

Stop looking at it as something that you need to overcome. Otherwise, you will always be chasing a carrot on a stick. If you keep following this mentality, you will always feel that you are not good enough, not matter what successes or achievements you've created. That feeling of inferiority is what's unattractive, not your height in itself. And sure, some girls might not date you for your height. But that's fine; there will ALWAYS be some girls who aren't attracted to you for whatever reason. T…
/r/seduction23/03/15 08:10 PM
1

Personally, I'd go for one. But my personal goal in dating isn't to fuck as much as possible, so I have no problem dropping girls who don't fuck with me. Nor do I find any reason to lie in order to get laid. Do you want to be someone who lies about yourself in order to get your dick in a hole? Or would you rather be your authentic self and attract a girl who's down with that? They're leading questions, but it's how I view the situation.
/r/seduction23/03/15 07:59 PM
1

There really isn't anything you "should" do, because again, there really aren't strict rules to adhere to (besides obvious shit like make sure she's comfortable). You just have to play it by ear. If you don't know, then you need to be present to the moment and make an educated guess.
/r/seduction17/03/15 04:47 PM
2

Kino starts with something innocent as a handshake or a hug. It's what sets the stage. A hand on the knee isn't necessarily going overboard if the situation/mood is right. Use as much kino is necessary. There really aren't rules when it comes to this thing. Yeah, really vague advice, but nuances like these are really played by ear. Highly context-dependent.
/r/seduction17/03/15 05:47 AM
1

Film is a common hobby. However, it's definitely worth asking yourself, "is film really an authentic hobby? or is it just away to stay in my comfort zone?" There's nothing wrong with doing something that comforts you, but there's a difference between having a comforting hobby and avoiding growth by staying in your comfort zone. Also, it's good that you're exploring other things out there.
/r/seduction17/03/15 05:43 AM
2

I mean, if you're just playing the field so to speak, then I guess... but IMO, rather than manipulate to appear high-value, work on actually being high-value. Maybe it's just where I'm currently at in life. If you're just looking to get laid, then I guess go crazy. These days I've been using PUA to create authentic relationships with people, and stuff like that is definitely NOT the way to go for that. If a girl tried shit like that on me these days, I'll just dead her. And I don't know man, may…
/r/seduction17/03/15 05:37 AM
1

Yes, you do. Not that it's necessarily a bad thing. Strong emotions are like these are how you create authentic, meaningful connections. Just make sure you're connecting with the right people for the right reasons.
/r/seduction17/03/15 05:24 AM
3

Not totally experienced in this area, but I live in a very large city, so I imagine it could just be as simple as, "I'm heading downtown to get clothing, wanna come?" While you're in the area, there's a lot of shit to do. Grab some coffee, frozen yogurt, play billiards, etc. The focus doesn't have to be on the chore itself. It's just the thing that happens to get done while you guys hang out.
/r/seduction17/03/15 05:22 AM
1

There are a lot of guys out there who have virtually NO experience with women. Chances are, they also have a lot of beliefs that they are unattractive, unworthy, etc. Getting a phone number might not mean much in the grand scale of things, but it can be a HUGE win for someone who can barely even hold a decent conversation with a woman. Even if it's a fake number or something, it's still a sign that they're making progress. Someone who constantly puts themselves down should grab onto whatever suc…
/r/seduction15/03/15 07:16 AM
3

I personally don't like the idea of becoming a "bad boy". IMO, just work on being more assertive, whichever way that shows up for you. You want to be a confident, authentic version of you. You don't want to play a character. but my shyness is the only thing that is fucking me up want to change my life for the better and take ACTION. Wanting to take action isn't enough. You have to actually take action. It's not that your shyness is fucking you up. You're simply not making the decision to take ac…
/r/seduction11/03/15 10:12 PM
5

Many of us have limiting beliefs that make us insecure. It doesn't really matter how we got them, what matters is that we simply have them. We tend to unconsciously collect evidence to support our limiting beliefs (i.e. confirmation bias). We do this so often that it literally becomes the way we see reality. I've been doing an exercise recently that might help you out. Pick 5-6 traits that resonate with you. I picked "confident", "authentic", "passionate", "strong", "grounded", and "fun" (they c…
/r/seduction11/03/15 10:08 PM
-1

It might be because you're unwilling to be vulnerable. Good relationships require you to be authentic and vulnerable. Maybe you're thinking along the lines, "I know I can be cool and high-value for a few dates, but I don't know if I can sustain it in a long-term relationship"?
/r/seduction11/03/15 09:59 PM
2

Hate to be a nitpicky asshole, but I get the impression that you're creating a false dichotomy where you're either a) going for a relationship or b) exploiting women for sex. There's nothing wrong with casual sex as long as the involved parties know what's up! Win-win situation, right? That being said, a lot of guys do come here because they want to be in a healthy relationship.
/r/seduction11/03/15 09:57 PM
4

You don't get over your fear before you approach girls. You get over your fear BY approaching girls. Basically, right now, looking for "the best" YouTube video or general advice is your way of avoiding doing the thing that you gotta do. I feel like it's something I won't be able to get ove Because that's the choice that you're making. When you're in a situation where you can either approach or not approach, you consciously choose to not approach. You have to make the decision to approach and sti…
/r/seduction10/03/15 01:29 PM
1

This post is like saying, "hey guys I'm bad at maths been practicing a bit but I don't know what's going on". Thing is, we can't really help you since we don't know anything about you.
/r/seduction10/03/15 01:25 PM
2

Stop looking at it as something that affects you in the first place. Be grateful for rejections, because they're opportunities for you to grow. They're great ways to get feedback. They're great ways to make yourself think, "maybe I need to work on building comfort" or "maybe I need to be a bit more assertive". Rejection only hurts as much as you let it hurt. When you say: getting rejected on a first approach won't fuck with my state the rest of the night? You're implicitly coming from a position…
/r/seduction10/03/15 01:23 PM
1

If you let it affect you in the first place, then you're probably not as confident as you think you are. Sure, you might feel confident in specific areas of your life, but your post is one of those things people tell themselves in order to prevent growth. I'm not trying to shit on you or anything, but to be real. It's a great way to make yourself feel better, but at the end of the day, it's a way of ignoring the truth, which is that the OP is not as confident or self-validating as he thinks he i…
/r/seduction10/03/15 01:20 PM
1

Just be honest about it.
/r/seduction10/03/15 01:16 PM
1

You'll only look like a pleb if you feel like you look like a pleb. If you want to respond like an alpha would, then BE alpha first and then respond. It's not about what you do, it's about who you're being.
/r/seduction10/03/15 01:07 PM
4

While this is true, it's important to avoid the pitfall of becoming a dude with a fake-ass personality because he feels the compulsion to "constantly seduce".
/r/seduction08/03/15 10:34 PM
2

Keep being confident and high-value. It's not necessarily about the actions you carry out superficially, but rather, the person that you are.
/r/seduction08/03/15 10:34 PM
1

It's a shame people buy into that illusion of power. Thanks for the post, OP.
/r/seduction04/03/15 03:03 AM
1

In the grand scale of things, it might be a shitty goal. But something to get the ball rolling? It's damn fine the way it is. Maybe he needed to experience this in order to really understand, on a deep level, what it means to have a purposeful goal. Shitting on other people doesn't help them, and it's oftentimes a reflection of our own negative bullshit, rather than a genuine desire to help them.
/r/seduction02/03/15 02:49 PM
1

It's highly-context dependent. Be aware of your environment by listening to other people, whether it's what they're verbally saying or what their body language is saying. Then you make an educated judgment and take action. Like Pedantic_Me says, you're feeling bad likely because you feel that you wouldn't be able to contribute to the relationship. Maybe something along the lines of, "she's this really hot girl with nice legs and soft, smooth skin, and I'm just... me!" Wanting sex in itself isn't…
/r/seduction02/03/15 02:35 PM
3

Ask yourself, "Am I committed to living my dream life? Or am I committed to my comfort zone? Am I committed to being a confident, giving, self-empowered, high-value man? Or am I committed to my feels?" Greatness isn't born, it's built. Experiences, whether you perceive them as good or bad, are what allows you to grow and become a better person. Every time you make an approach, even if it doesn't go the way you thought it would, is placing another brick in the palace that is netarangi. One way to…
/r/seduction02/03/15 02:27 PM
1

"Failure stories", when done in the right way, can be used to show vulnerability and authenticity, and can be an amazing way to build comfort. However, that's completely up to the context. Like, if you're at a point where you're actually getting to know each other. Generally speaking, I would avoid that kind of shit. It shouldn't be your default thing to go to.
/r/seduction02/03/15 02:18 PM
2

Take a deep breath, and gently exhale it out. Take another deep breath, and let it out with a loud (but relaxed) sigh. Then you do the shit that you gotta do. You don't need advice to get out of your comfort zone. You just need to get out of your comfort zone. It helps to have a supportive group of friends/family/peers/etc., but ultimately, it's about just doing the shit you gotta do. It's about committing to living the life of your dreams rather than committing to playing a small game and stayi…
/r/seduction02/03/15 02:13 PM
1

Practice them by going out and socializing.
/r/seduction01/03/15 10:06 PM
2

So how did you guys get over how awkward touching other people is? You really just have to go for it, maybe mess up a couple of times, and then it'll click in your head, "OH so that's what they mean!" It's just like approaching. You don't get over your fear and then approach. You get over your fear by approaching. If you like a girl, and say, she hugs you from behind. Chances are, you're probably gonna enjoy it. It's the same principle. If you're an attractive dude and you can make an educated g…
/r/seduction01/03/15 07:34 PM
2

You have to actually take action and practice. There's a difference between a sports caster and an actual player. The sports caster might now how to play the game, but actually playing the game probably ain't their forte. can y'all recommend some recent material that might be worth looking into on the subject Rather than trying to absorb new material, you should be active practicing what you already know. Trying to watch more shit actually won't help you execute unless you actually start practic…
/r/seduction27/02/15 02:16 PM
1

Fight! Fight! Fight!
/r/seduction27/02/15 02:07 PM
3

Don't be clingy and you won't come across as clingy. If you remember to make sex about having fun, rather than seeking validation, then you won't be clingy and you won't come across as clingy.
/r/seduction27/02/15 01:44 PM
3

That's not entirely true. People, when taken as a whole, can become very judgmental and cynical. It's easy for the spectators sitting on the bleachers to judge the players on the field. There has to be some balance between listening to others while still disregarding lowest-common-denominator bullshit.
/r/seduction27/02/15 01:52 AM
3

To be fair, lots of the opinions posted on /r/seduction are pretty useless. A lot of people giving advice about talking to women when they've never even done it themselves. If a novice comes to Seddit for the first time, they probably won't know the difference between good advice and bad advice. So if they follow shitty advice from some weekend warrior, it'll actually hurt them.
/r/seduction26/02/15 02:03 PM
4

Good shit! Coming from that background, it's definitely a good direction for you. That being said, just don't take it too extreme. It's easy to use "I don't care" as a defense mechanism. That kinda shit will prevent you from making emotional connections with the people that you actually want in your life. But overall, good shit.
/r/seduction26/02/15 06:16 AM
78

How can you be honest without sounding like a complete asshole? Just don't be an asshole. If you know deep, deep down you're not being an asshole, then you won't come across as one. Except, if they're the one that's viewing you as an asshole. In that case, the problem lies with them, not you. My response would really depend on the situation. If it's a light-hearted conversation, I might joke around saying, "yeah I'm only in it for the sex". Or, I might go to the opposite side of the spectrum wit…
/r/seduction26/02/15 06:07 AM
37

I might be projecting here, but this just feels defensive and petty to me. Feels very try-hard to me, but maybe some guys can rock it?
/r/seduction26/02/15 06:06 AM
13

Your looks play a very little role when it comes to male attractiveness. That being said, even if it's something you logically understand, chances are, you won't emotionally internalize it because of whatever beliefs you hold as a result of life in general. So, my thoughts are that you should approach, find out where your sticking points are, approach again, and repeat. I feel that you're looking for an awful lot of reasons to stay within your comfort zone. Like... Now, I had a sheltered upbring…
/r/seduction26/02/15 05:11 AM
1

Chances are, you being quiet isn't you being your authentic self. It's you being in your head and stifling yourself for whatever reason Like livinghonesty said, introversion and quietness are two different things. In addition, most people aren't just introverted or extroverted. The vast majority of people have aspects of both; introversion and extroversion actually exist on different spectrums. The point is, "I'm introverted" is just the thing you're telling yourself to prevent yourself from gro…
/r/seduction24/02/15 02:58 PM
2

Guys, forget the whole, "don't tell women about PUA" thing. You're getting the wrong message. His underlying point is that confidence and high-value should be something that you are, rather than something that you do. I think a lot of guys are missing out on valuable advice because they're focusing on a detail that's rather superficial, at least with respect to the point he's ultimately trying to make.
/r/seduction24/02/15 02:50 PM
2

However, the side effect, for me at least, is the lost excitement. It's actually not mutually-exclusive. Your excitement is actually coming from a better place because you're much more grounded and centered. Meditation is really a game changer, but it's not something you'll notice if you've only "tried a couple times". But I ain't your dad or anything. If you're getting success without meditation, then power to you!
/r/seduction19/02/15 03:48 AM
2

Yeah, just start. You'll automatically be in a better position than most guys if you simply just start. Make sure you're taking care of yourself. By that, I mean getting good sleep. Eating healthy foods. Staying hydrated. Exercising. You don't have to go too hard (e.g. only eat spinach and kale), but it's SO MUCH EASIER to be confident, funny, and cool when you're giving your brain and body some good fuel.
/r/seduction18/02/15 04:28 AM
1

Think of reddit's, no, /r/seduction's main demographic... heh.
/r/seduction18/02/15 04:26 AM
2

In this context, "introvert/homebody" is merely just another way of saying, "I don't want to leave my comfort zone". It's not a bad thing necessarily, but you should recognize it for what it is. Most humans have a little of column A and a little of column B. We might lean towards introvert or extrovert, but pretty much everyone has both aspects to their personality. Introversion has very little to do with your desire to be social. You might not go out as much as an extrovert, but you can still b…
/r/seduction18/02/15 03:12 AM
1

Based on my limited experience with TRP, it can be quite a pseudo-alpha male circlejerk. Some posts are great for male empowerment, but the rest are basically misogynistic bullshit. Just like feminism, a lot of it can be good, but a good number of bad apples spoils the bunch. It simply sounds like you're in a place in your life where you want to create a real connection. That's fine. Pickup will still help you. Just focus on being genuine yourself (as opposed to using lines and routines) and you…
/r/seduction18/02/15 03:09 AM
0

IMO if you feel that you need to "balance the temptation", then you didn't pick a very good girlfriend (i.e. you settled). If I'm in a relationship, yeah I might look at other girls, but at the end of the day, I'm only gonna want to fuck her. If I know I'm going to want to fuck other girls, then I wouldn't get into a monogamous relationship in the first place. If you want to just fuck around, then be honest about it. The girls will know what they're getting into, and you're being upfront about i…
/r/seduction18/02/15 03:05 AM
2

Just make a decision and stick with it. You can spend an eternity weighing your options. So just decide.
/r/seduction18/02/15 02:57 AM
2

It's kind of like putting a band-aid over a deep gash. It only superficially handles the problem. If you're a novice, then it's fine for now. But in the long run, you should learn how to actually be a high-value man, rather than merely emulate the actions of one. Being fake creates a LOT of problems.
/r/seduction18/02/15 02:52 AM
3

If you're not texting because you legitimately have other things to do, that's one thing. If you're not texting because you're playing games, it's immature nonsense. she would do the same shit to him Why even want to date a girl like that? I ain't got no time for fake-ass women who play games. IMO, find a girl that's actually worth the investment. this guy is getting results To be fair, getting results by playing games like this simply means you're practicing how to be fake, rather than practici…
/r/seduction18/02/15 02:45 AM
4

Are you attracted to them? Then go for it. Not attracted? Don't go for it.
/r/seduction18/02/15 02:40 AM
1

This is why should be confident rather than merely emulate the actions of someone who's confident. So actually be someone who has options, rather than pretend. If you're "being" is on-point, the qualities will show through so you won't need to worry about what it looks like
/r/seduction16/02/15 03:42 PM
0

How are you handling your health? Make sure you're exercising, eating healthy, and staying hydrated. It's much, much easier for your brain to be on-point when you're giving it the right fuels. I just cant seem to get past approach anxiety. It's not that you "just couldn't do it". Rather, you made the conscious decision to not do it. You unconsciously made a cost-benefit analysis and decided you would benefit more by staying in your comfort zone. That being said, if you're new to this, it's fine.…
/r/seduction16/02/15 03:32 PM
3

How can I execute reliable pickup game without seeming coordinating? Stop being fake. Game isn't something you do. It's something you are. Rather than emulate the actions of a confident, high-value man, actually BE a confident, high-value man. I like to look at routines as "training wheels". Something to get the ball rolling as you start developing the genuinely AWESOME aspects of your personality and lifestyle. That being said, if you're new, I don't think you should worry about it too much. As…
/r/seduction16/02/15 03:16 PM
1

Force yourself to do it the second you feel the impulse. Don't wait and let the negative self-talk and doubt creep in. Meditate, eat plenty of green, leafy vegetables, and stay hydrated. It's easier for your brain to be on-point when you're giving it the right fuels. When you're already in your head, it helps to just move around. Jump up and down, dance, yell loudly like an idiot. Make the process fun. Instead of thinking, "ohhhhh fuck I gotta do approaches now omg omg", turn it into a mindset t…
/r/seduction16/02/15 03:13 PM
2

Without knowing more about you, it's hard to give advice tailored for your situation. what are some tips or advice IMO, don't look for "tips" or "advice". I look at "tips" or "advice" as band-aid solutions for what are generally larger issues. The idea is, you want to be a confident, attractive, high-value man. "Tips" or "advice" doesn't let you be that, because it means you're merely trying to emulate the actions of a confident, attractive, high-value man. that I can use to get my foot in the d…
/r/seduction16/02/15 02:19 AM
1

You have to want it bad enough and simply take action. That's it. Whenever you're in a situation where you need to take a risk, you're unconsciously doing a cost-benefit analysis. Based on that analysis, you make a decision. If you subconsciously feel that you would benefit more by staying within your comfort zone, then you'll make the conscious decision to not got for it. If you feel that the potential benefit is greater than the potential detriment, then you'll take the risk. In other words, i…
/r/seduction16/02/15 02:12 AM
3

but 60% of the time she doesn't answer. Move on. I want to start a conversation without seeming clingy (which I don't think I was before) Focus on actually not being clingy, rather than merely not appearing clingy. If you're genuinely not clingy, it will come through. Otherwise, you'll have to learn to be a really good actor (completely unsustainable in the long run) or your clinginess will eventually come through. There should be a lot of texting guides in the sidebar. Might be worth checking o…
/r/seduction13/02/15 06:22 PM
9

So, I have a very un-Orthodox experience in this department. It's stupid as fuck, so take from it what you will. You know how in manga/anime, they like to overhype a bunch of shit for no reason? There was a scene in one of my favorite series where some renowned martial artist was walking down a street, and everyone's all like, "OH MY GOD HIS AURA IS SOOOOO STRONG HOLY SHIT HE'S SO POWERFUL". So for shits and giggles, I thought, "hey why not pretend I have an aura?" So I really tried to feel in m…
/r/seduction13/02/15 12:46 PM
1

You can really use any reason to touch their hand. Like I've had a girl say to me, "I bet my hand is bigger than yours" and then compared sizes by placing our palms together. It was just an excuse to hold hands. A corny one, but it's not like I gave a shit, lol.
/r/seduction12/02/15 04:07 PM
2

Self-generate positive emotions and things will become "fun". Basically, YOU need to have fun in order to make the conversation fun. Conversations in themselves are neutral, it's about what emotions you're bringing to the table.
/r/seduction12/02/15 04:04 PM
1

It depends on how you define "highest class". That being said, anyone who wants to become "truly world class" in a particular field must devote hours and hours and hours of practice. Pretty much nobody is born with talent; they just started practicing a lot when they were young. So if you want to be considered "world class" in a specific area, you have to devote your life to practice it. But I'm guessing that's not what you're talking about. In a more general sense, if you're always striving to …
/r/seduction10/02/15 11:37 PM
4

How can I stop this from happening? By taking action. Why the fuck I'm not doing it? Because right now, you are more committed to staying in your comfort zone that you are committed to living the life that you want. When you have the opportunity to take action, you consciously make the decision to NOT do it. I want to make this feel much less recurrent that its right now in my life. I'm gonna be super blunt with you. Not to insult or belittle you, but to be 100% real with you. You don't want it.…
/r/seduction10/02/15 11:30 PM
3

Honestly, if your brain is "too fried", then you're better off just taking a nap. You probably wouldn't be able to process the information anyway.
/r/seduction10/02/15 11:21 PM
3

It's totally okay to go through a phase where you're focusing on yourself. Being selfish doesn't necessarily mean you're hurting others, it just means you're focusing on yourself.
/r/seduction10/02/15 01:09 PM
6

I mean this in the nicest way possible, but what are you looking for here? Advice, just to vent, etc.?
/r/seduction10/02/15 03:23 AM
4

Discretely telling them doesn't work 99.99% of the time for a whole host of reasons. Simply telling them that you like them doesn't work that much either, because neither of you are doing something with that information. Ask her out! Don't just tell her, "hey I like you". Ask her out on a date!
/r/seduction10/02/15 03:20 AM
2

Try it out and see if it works for you. Let us know how it goes!
/r/seduction09/02/15 08:11 PM
3

I don't know what you mean about the difference between taking responsibility and blaming yourself, but I take all the blame. I like to make a distinction between "being responsible" and "blaming yourself" because the former comes from a place of self-empowerment and positivity. The other comes from a place of negativity. I believe that motivation derived from negativity can be useful in spurts, but it's ultimately not sustainable in the long run. It also doesn't promote a healthy mindset. I get…
/r/seduction09/02/15 07:53 PM
1

The more you wait, the more you wait.
/r/seduction09/02/15 05:09 PM
1

Check the sidebar.
/r/seduction09/02/15 05:05 PM
46

Why do I have to spend my time developing traits which I'll probably never have but come naturally and smoothly to everyone else? Because it doesn't come naturally or smoothly to anyone else by nature. It's something they developed, whether consciously or unconsciously. Why am I given such a bullshit life? Maybe you were dealt a shitty hand, and I totally empathize with that. But at the same time, you can be responsible for your life and take action to do something about it. You'll find that you…
/r/seduction09/02/15 05:05 PM
1

I'm having trouble believing that all these women do "shit tests" and etc. Sometimes, it's not really "she's shit-testing me", but rather, "wow that woman is actually a cunt". Other times, it's really just playful flirting. I feel that a lot of guys make it a big deal because they never really learned how to do the dance of flirting. So when a girl is just playfully teasing them, they take it personally. Constantly having my strength tested just seems redudant and irksome. She's not really testi…
/r/seduction09/02/15 02:19 PM
2

What do i have to do It's not a matter of what you have to "do", but who you have to "be". For example, a confident, self-assured man and a clingy, desperate man can say the same exact joke. They will get different results because of who each man is being. If you want to be attractive to a single woman, you have to know how to be attractive to women in general. Check the sidebar to start.
/r/seduction09/02/15 02:10 PM
0

Sorry, not really. I'm not good at explaining shit anymore; these days my advice would just be along the lines of "dude just be present" or "just listen to her bruh".
/r/seduction04/02/15 12:54 PM
1

It's not necessarily about the superficial body language that's being displayed, but the emotions that drive that body language.
/r/seduction04/02/15 04:01 AM
2

One thing is, you just need more experience talking to women. Having good friends, a good career, good health, etc. are great for developing your overall lifestyle, which is a large part of being attractive to women. But it won't necessarily help you learn direct skills, such as how to flirt, how to be comfortable around women, etc. But overall, it seems the "doing" part of your life is handled. Maybe you need to work on the "being" part. In other words, have some self-acceptance! One of the big…
/r/seduction03/02/15 03:53 PM
2

Yeah man, this is a bit of a red flag for me too. Externalizing the blame is, in a way, maintaining a victim complex. On the other hand, if his girlfriend was a real cunt (hypothetically speaking), then dumping her could definitely be beneficial to his life.
/r/seduction03/02/15 05:56 AM
1

Don't tryhard and you won't come across as one. Simple. More generically, don't focus on appearing so-and-so. Focus on being so-and-so, and it will naturally come forth. For example, people ask, "how do I appear funny"? Instead of asking how they can appear funny, they should ask how they can be funny. I'd handle it by casually striking a conversation, see if there's chemistry or not, and go from there.
/r/seduction03/02/15 05:52 AM
5

I want to give you some constructive criticism. Feel free to take it or not; I know unsolicited advice is a pretty dick move. Negativity, anger, etc. can be great motivational tools when used in bursts. However, motivation derived from negativity is absolutely not sustainable in the long run. If you want to help someone, attacking them oftentimes isn't the right way to go about it. I find that when I'm expressing negativity, it's a reflection of something that's going on in my life. So it might …
/r/seduction03/02/15 03:00 AM
6

Your topic may not be directly related to seduction, but: Many people come here because they're exactly in your position It seems like writing this post gave you some catharsis It may not be a thread that's appropriate for /r/seduction per se, but if this gets you on the right direction, then in the end, you've created a net positive in the world.
/r/seduction03/02/15 02:55 AM
2

Yeah, try not to let NYC intimidate you. I mean, full-disclosure, I grew up here so I'm used to NYC. But we're all humans in the end. Try not to get caught up in the city's image too much; people can be just as open and personable as anywhere else. A couple of weeks ago, I played a game similar to the one red paperclip story. My friend and I started off with one matchstick, and we ended up with $40 worth of stuff after a couple hours of cold approach in Manhattan. People can be cool when you kno…
/r/seduction02/02/15 02:25 AM
0

Be a nice person yourself (genuinely nice, not "nice guy" nice). Then, people will generally reciprocate. It's basic state transference. Be cool, and that vibe will naturally spread to the people around you, so they'll be cool to you. You have to be in the mood that you want others to be in. Eventually, your emotionally internalized beliefs will change as you get more and more reference experiences.
/r/seduction01/02/15 03:32 AM
1

Trp opens your eyes In my experience, TRP "philosophy" offers some interesting perspectives, but be careful of confirmation bias. "Open your eyes" is a phrase that can be easily used to stroke your own ego and prevent yourself from seeing things as they are. Missing the forest for the trees, as they say. you can then behave accordingly with women to minimize your investment and maximize your profit with them Looking at social relationships through a lens of "minimize investment, maximize return"…
/r/seduction01/02/15 03:29 AM
3

"Let's hang out sometime, what's your number?" Your version works too. The exact words you use really don't matter, it's more about how you say it.
/r/seduction30/01/15 02:34 AM
7

I get the impression that you are really, really committed to keeping your limiting beliefs. You're cherry-picking evidence that supports your preexisting narrative and simply disregarding anything that says otherwise. Because of this, I don't believe that you are truly looking for constructive feedback, but rather, validation for your limiting beliefs. In other words, I don't feel as though you actually want to change your opinion about yourself. That being said, you have no observable, physica…
/r/seduction29/01/15 01:41 PM
0

Sidebar is to the right; it contains a lot of information that should answer your questions.
/r/seduction27/01/15 04:42 PM
2

Adderall would prevent yourself from actually growing and learning to deal with the issue. Is there a possibly that you don't care because you're afraid of taking risks? It's easy to not care because then you don't have to push your comfort zone, and you don't have to get hurt by rejection (since you never go for it in the first place). It's safe to not care. If that's the case, then video games are merely a symptom of the real issue. The real issue would be that you don't want to expand your co…
/r/seduction27/01/15 04:41 PM
1

Some women simply aren't ready for you. Just because she rejects a relationship doesn't mean YOU got rejected. Don't beat yourself up; oftentimes rejections aren't attacks on your self-worth or self-identity. They still suck, but remember that oftentimes it's not because there's something wrong with you. I've had girls pick "lesser" guys because they were just way too fucking nervous to talk to me. Without know who you are on a deep level, I can't exactly say what you should be doing to move for…
/r/seduction27/01/15 04:36 PM
2

It sounds like it's happening because you're emotionally investing way too much into this girl. Find some other shit to care about, whether it's hobbies or other girls or seeing your friends or working out or eating healthy or etc. etc. etc.
/r/seduction27/01/15 04:21 PM
1

You can't make it because you choose not to make it. It's not that you "just couldn't do it". Rather, you consciously made the decision to not do it. When you were faced with the decision of either going for it, or not going for it, you picked the latter. It's not that there's anything wrong with you. Everyone freezes the fuck up when faced with fear. It's just that, right now, you're more committed to staying in your comfort zone than you are to living the life that you want. Essentially, you w…
/r/seduction27/01/15 04:19 PM
2

Focus on how to succeed, rather than merely to not fail. "Help not to fail" says a lot about the place you're current from. I get that you like this girl, but I feel that you're emotionally investing way too much. Chill out, relax, and focus on having fun. Stop focusing on how to not fail because it means you're inherently coming from the place where you feel as though you will fail. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Focus on how to succeed. Stop thinking on "how to create the best outcome"…
/r/seduction27/01/15 04:08 PM
1

I find that sexual tension naturally occurs when I find them attractive and I want to fuck them. If my goal is date/fuck them, then sexual chemistry is there. If my goal is to not be awkward or not be nervous, then that's all that's gonna happen. I'm gonna try to not be awkward. That's it. Get it? Kino ain't necessarily gonna create sexual tension if you're not trying to fuck them or date them. Doing kino for the sake of doing kino is pointless.
/r/seduction27/01/15 04:01 PM
3

Cockiness is feeling the need to prove that you are cool/high-value/whatever. Cockiness is essentially try-harding. Confidence is (or at least a large part of it) being comfortable with who you are. You know you're a boss, so you don't feel the compulsion to prove it. I suppose I'm not sure where I am demonstrating one over the other? Be brutally honest with yourself and dig deep. Ask yourself, "what place am I coming from?" If you're brutally, brutally honest with yourself, then you'll oftentim…
/r/seduction25/01/15 03:15 AM
2

Personally I've found it's about finding something about a girl which makes me fall in love with them just a little. Holy shit, that's perfect. It felt like I'd been in a rut recently because it seemed like I couldn't meet anyone that I liked. In reality, it was just me being judgmental. Thanks!
/r/seduction22/01/15 04:58 AM
13

The way I look at it is, "do I want to play games to get women? Or do I want to be me to get women?" Might be a flawed way of looking at things, but it's how I view it. I picked the latter, and it works well for me in pickup and life in general, so I advocate being direct. I've found that playing games tends to attract women who play games, and I'm not about that life bruh.
/r/seduction16/01/15 06:23 PM
1

To add on: By doing this, the OP will get practice in simply approaching women, which already gives him a massive advantage over many other guys. He'll develop the habit of taking action despite being afraid or nervous, and he'll begin to get accustomed to being around women. By taking this small step, the OP will begin to develop confidence and social skills that are geared for seduction. A novice weight trainer doesn't bust into the gym squatting 500lbs. They work their way up to whatever goal…
/r/seduction16/01/15 03:53 PM
2

Well, you're gonna have to get over your fear of women. It can be difficult and scary; I've been in your EXACT shoes. I didn't have friends growing up, and I never even had my first kiss until AFTER college. I know what it's like man. But now, I'm living a life with friends that I actually like, women I enjoy being with, in addition to having a good career, travel opportunities, lots of fun, lots of meaningful connections, and so on. The only reason why this happened is because I took action and…
/r/seduction16/01/15 03:44 PM
1

Don't be needy and you won't exude neediness. Worrying about not being needy is kinda needy, ironically. Just focus on your own life, be confident, etc., and you will naturally exude non-neediness. And, you won't have to micromanage every single one of your emotions and actions.
/r/seduction16/01/15 03:38 PM
2

Don't worry about not appearing desperate. Whatever you resist, persists. It's like when you tell yourself, "don't think of polar bears! don't think of polar bears!" Well guess what? You'll keep thinking of polar bears. Just focus on having fun and creating an enjoyable experience. Get a good night's sleep, drink some tea, go for a jog to clear your mind. Maybe do a meditation session. Whatever floats your boat.
/r/seduction16/01/15 03:35 PM
3

Use your own judgments to determine whether or not his techniques are misogynistic. If I playfully choke a girl (I've already received prior consent), other people might look at me and think, "HOLY FUCKING SHIT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE". But the girl says, "but I'm into that stuff". But then other people say, "yah but stupid people are gonna see you and think it's okay to choke people so you're indirectly advocating domestic violence". Well, what now?
/r/seduction16/01/15 03:33 PM
6

Leave the negative feedback up yo assss Avoiding constructive criticism is the easiest way to prevent yourself from growing. Unless someone is blatantly throwing insults and racial slurs in your direction, feedback is completely neutral. It's usually the receiver who interprets feedback as negative, rather than the feedback actually being negative. I want to meet a woman!! I'm super terrified of approaching women. It's kind of like saying, "I want to lose weight but I don't want to exercise". Wh…
/r/seduction16/01/15 03:27 PM
1

Some people are introverts and it is really tough to come across as a high-energy, exciting kinda guy. Most people aren't either introverts or extroverts, but a degree of both. It's just that we tend to create limiting beliefs surrounding our sense of identity due to cognitive biases. Lucky thing is, you don't have to be. But yeah, that's totally true.
/r/seduction16/01/15 03:16 PM
2

Ah, there's a difference between confidence and ego. I agree that confidence doesn't necessarily impart skill, but I'll still assert that confidence and being in the flow state is how good conversation is accessed. We already have a good degree of social skills because we unconsciously learn it throughout life. So many of us don't need to learn the skills per se, but rather, learn to be confident to access the skills in a seductive manner.
/r/seduction16/01/15 03:13 PM
7

Thanks, I couldn't have worded it better myself.
/r/seduction16/01/15 02:18 PM
3

Honestly, then you might not be as confident as you think you are. Being confident and in the flow state is how you access great conversation.
/r/seduction16/01/15 02:17 PM
34

Im a quiet guy. I listen to people, i dont speak. Starting a topic is difficult. These are limiting beliefs. ;)
/r/seduction16/01/15 12:15 AM
0

Do both! Developing your social skills (i.e. approaching, going out, hanging out with friends, meeting women, etc.) is a part of developing that good foundation. This weekend I met a lawyer who was very successful financially, but part of me felt bad for him because he was incredibly lonely. He had suicidal thoughts because his limiting beliefs told him, "no one will ever love me". He had his shit together except for his social life because he never took the time to develop his social skills. Th…
/r/seduction15/01/15 03:19 PM
2

99.9% of the time, you're better off being authentic. In my personal experience, it has pretty much always worked out better for me when I was just real and communicated what I felt, rather than try too hard to appear cool or nonchalant. Sure, saying "I'm nervous around you" or whatever might not be as sexy as being totally cool and confident, but it's definitely WAY better than being a tryhard. A high-value man is authentic and is willing to take risks, even if it may not lead to his desired ou…
/r/seduction15/01/15 05:07 AM
2

Of course you feel like shit! I'd feel like shit too if I spent 3 months beating myself up. Relax with that negative self-talk. It doesn't really create much productivity. Look, here's what's going on right now. You are currently more committed to staying in your comfort zone than you are to personal growth. You are more committed to your loneliness than your desire to create real connections with women. It's not that you can't approach. You're simply choosing not to. Every time you have the opp…
/r/seduction15/01/15 04:55 AM
1

Check out the sidebar, it has some good resources.
/r/seduction14/01/15 01:49 PM
3

I'm being super pedantic, but... whilst you thought you were the one in control Seduction ain't about control. :) Yeah there's always some element of banter when you're flirting, but making this about control and games means you're being inauthentic.
/r/seduction14/01/15 01:46 PM
3

As long as you eventually let go of the anger.
/r/seduction14/01/15 01:44 PM
2

Don't worry about last minute tips. Just relax, have fun, and be open.
/r/seduction13/01/15 11:40 PM
4

You don't need to know what to say, just approach her. That being said, there are so, so many things wrong with this post. I'm not trying to fault you, but the fact that this thread exists shows a massive lack of understanding regarding the fundamental concepts of pickup. Again, I'm sorry if I come across as dick-ish. I'm not trying to wrong you but I want to point you to the right direction. Please check out the fundamental principles behind seduction; it'll give you real, sustainable growth. I…
/r/seduction13/01/15 11:35 PM
3

One thing you can do is to force yourself to approach so you stop focusing on your internal dialogue, but rather, the world around you. IMO, consistent entitlement comes from experience (i.e. "I just 'know' it'll work"), practice, and a good scoop of self-acceptance. I always feel like a creep or some desperate guy Creepiness and desperation comes from taking value. If you're able to generate value in social situations, then, well, you're giving value. Sometimes it helps me when I think to mysel…
/r/seduction12/01/15 07:25 PM
2

Rather than look at how far you have yet to go, look at how far you've come! Seriously, 14 approaches is more than most people will ever do in their life. Hell, the idea of even approaching a woman is completely outside many guys' mentalities! Yeah, there are definitely tweaks you can make to your game, but at the same time, recognize and acknowledge yourself for being responsible for your life.
/r/seduction12/01/15 03:09 PM
1

Sometimes flirting involves some friendly verbal sparring. "Does my ass look big in this etc.." "No, you just got a fat ass. :)" I don't interpret it as them trying to mess with me. I interpret it as them just fucking around (in general) in a flirty way. This is somewhat related, but sometimes girls will tease me for whatever reason (i.e. friendly shit test). It's not because they're trying to establish dominance or emotionally manipulate me, they're just having fun in a friendly matter. It's fl…
/r/seduction11/01/15 05:43 AM
2

You're making this harder than it has to be! You literally take your hands, gently grab her legs, and swing them over yours. It's like asking how to kiss a girl. You just kiss her! There is no "how".
/r/seduction11/01/15 05:37 AM
1

Oh. You could just simply put her legs over yours. No fancy technique needed.
/r/seduction11/01/15 05:36 AM
6

Sounds like a shit-test. Assume attraction and escalate. I've had girls point out before, "oh wow that guy looks cute" and I would just say some shit like, "yeah I'd totally fuck him". Just keep doing your thing and see how it goes.
/r/seduction11/01/15 05:34 AM
1

PRACTICE. I don't keep a mental checklist of shit to do in my head when I go out. As you practice and get experience, you start training your instincts. When situation <X> occurs, my brain will automatically tell me, "hey you can do <Y> or <Z>" because I've internalized PUA concepts through time, practice, and experience.
/r/seduction11/01/15 05:32 AM
3

She's either super-friendly or DTF. Either way, trying to interpret it doesn't really matter (with the exception of making sure she's comfortable). Assume attraction and escalate.
/r/seduction11/01/15 05:30 AM
4

I feel that as long as you're being vulnerable and authentic, you will be able to experience love. There's a difference between having freedom from outcome and numbing yourself as a defense mechanism.
/r/seduction11/01/15 05:29 AM
1

You're overthinking a detail that really, really, really doesn't matter. Should I still try to stare at their right eye? Well, the point of eye-contact isn't to stare at them, but to connect.
/r/seduction09/01/15 10:00 PM
2

/r/fitness /r/bodyweightfitness /r/eatcheapandhealthy /r/personalfinance /r/financialindependence /r/malefashionadvice Those are some general self-development subreddits that might interest you. Other than that, ask yourself, "what do I want to do?" Having a cool lifestyle isn't necessarily about doing cool shit. A large portion of it is about doing the shit that YOU want to do. You can be a skydiving/extreme sports maniac and still be a complete tool. I've recently been checking out Devin Graha…
/r/seduction09/01/15 02:27 PM
2

Of course there are morals in seduction. What do you mean by this?
/r/seduction09/01/15 01:07 PM
1

That is what you chose to focus on, rather than my actual arguments? Jesus man, the lengths people will go to further their pre-existing narratives. I'm posting because I genuinely believe that I'm offering good advice (and if I'm not, feel free to discuss rather than offer asinine, irrelevant comments). I don't feel the compulsion to jerk myself off with multiple accounts. At the risk of sounding arrogant, I genuinely have much better things to do than to engage in narcissism. Even if that were…
/r/TheRedPill09/01/15 01:02 PM
1

Out of curiosity, what makes you say so?
/r/TheRedPill08/01/15 11:46 PM
0

here's the thing, if you were so high value, to the point where you need to talk shit about the men who didn't approach your friend, wouldn't your friend want to fuck you instead? Because sometimes high-value men have platonic friendships with women? Judging all of your male-female relationships through a lens of value or sexual compatibility shows a level of emotional immaturity. Being unable to form healthy, platonic relationships with women is a bad sign. Additionally, there's more to getting…
/r/TheRedPill08/01/15 11:41 PM
0

It's as if it's always the woman's fault. Is /r/TheRedPill about shitting on women? Or is it about being a high quality man. I've come on TRP very sparingly, and I always thought it was about male empowerment. I definitely see those elements, but unfortunately, a lot of the people in this thread seem to lean towards egotistical gratification rather than mutually benefiting themselves and their peers. That's not male empowerment; that's being childish. I can't wrap my head around the idea that yo…
/r/TheRedPill08/01/15 11:07 PM
-5

It's okay to have platonic relationships with women...?
/r/TheRedPill08/01/15 10:52 PM
2

Why you do it doesn't really matter, IMO. What really matters is simply taking action despite the shit that you're feeling.
/r/seduction08/01/15 04:18 AM
1

Most people, for better or worse, are addicted to negativity.
/r/seduction08/01/15 04:12 AM
1

That's a good point, I didn't consider that.
/r/seduction08/01/15 04:10 AM
1

Admittedly I'm on the OP's side (which shows my own personal biases), but no, we're not the same person. I hope this doesn't come across as arrogant, but I genuinely have better things to do than to upvote myself with multiple accounts.
/r/seduction08/01/15 04:07 AM
-4

But did you pick up the other parts of his post? Or did you focus on just that part?
/r/seduction08/01/15 01:57 AM
3

Oftentimes it's not about volume, but rather how much "value" you contain in a social situation. If people can't hear you no matter what volume you're operating at, then it might be a symptom of being boring/uninteresting/"low value". Obviously volume would be an issue if you're whispering in a loud nightclub, but if this occurs often no matter the venue, then it's probably not an issue of volume.
/r/seduction08/01/15 01:04 AM
1

Part of being a leader and attractive man is being willing to take risks. Accept that there's a possibility that she might say no. But if you never even try, then you're guaranteeing that nothing will happen. You're allowed to be scared (it is pretty darn scary), but every single one of your choices has a consequence. A mentor once told me, "the more you wait, the more you wait".
/r/seduction08/01/15 01:01 AM
3

Where do I start with self confidence? Works towards living the life you want to live. Pursue the hobbies you want to pursue. Go after the girls you find attractive. Be true to yourself and do the things that you want to do. Just remember that you actually have to take action about this. We can give you the road signs, but we can't make you confident. It's your job to walk the road. How can I build it super quickly? You can't. Nothing of substance is built super quickly. There is no magic pill o…
/r/seduction08/01/15 12:53 AM
1

The line changes from person to person. Listen to her words and her body language; it'll give you what you need to know. Being too timid or too forward comes from a lack of social calibration, which is just a fancy PUA term for listening to people and their body language. If all else fails, you can even ask her, "am I being too strong?"
/r/seduction08/01/15 12:39 AM
4

What about the qualities that define who you are as a person? E.g. personality, passions, interests, etc. While a man's "stats" may say a lot about who they are, that's not what women are ultimately attracted to.
/r/seduction08/01/15 12:35 AM
7

WTF. Who cares about all this shit. All that should matter in this instance is appearance & physical attractiveness. All she wants to do is get laid, right??!!? You're making the assumption that male attractiveness is based solely on his appearance. Like the OP says, just because you don't understand doesn't mean it makes no sense.
/r/seduction08/01/15 12:27 AM
1

Thank you for being a good person.
/r/seduction08/01/15 12:17 AM
-3

Welp, if you say so. Best of luck to you.
/r/seduction07/01/15 11:54 PM
-11

it's about being a swaggering, psycho analytical control freak, judging peoples every nuanced expression. No offense, but this seems to reflect you more than the OP. The OP is a regular contributor to Seddit, and you're making quite a lot of unbased assumptions about him. Like with many of the other posters in this thread, I feel that you're creating this whole image about the OP based on your own personal biases when you really don't even know him. If you want Seddit to be more about self-impro…
/r/seduction07/01/15 11:47 PM
-1

If you choose to feel that way.
/r/seduction07/01/15 11:30 PM
-1

Is there a possibility that he went, "oh shit maybe I am being a braggart" and tried to correct it? I don't see why it's a problem if he edited a post that was (purportedly) shit into something better. I'm getting the impression that you're creating this whole image about the OP despite not having any facts about him. This might not be true, but I feel that you're viewing his posts through a lens of your own biases rather than trying to take them for what they are.
/r/seduction07/01/15 11:28 PM
-1

No, he's viewing things through a lens of his own biases (we all do, that statement isn't intended to shit on him). It's not perceptive, it's making judgements.
/r/seduction07/01/15 11:21 PM
1

I'm using it as a very generic, very inaccurate term to describe Mystery Method kinda shit.
/r/seduction07/01/15 10:55 PM
2

The sidebar is to the right. Sorry, I'm being a dick, but it says a lot about yourself when you say "I've been reading for some time" and yet you're still unaware of the fundamentals.
/r/seduction07/01/15 10:55 PM
-2

You're making a lot of massive assumptions about the OP. I understand, you need to validate yourself and stuff, but don't start a topic, vaguely discuss it and then shove your big, massive, rich balls with nice shoes in our faces, saying that ALL MEN ARE LITTLE BITCHES AND THEY SUCK except you. In all seriousness, this statement actually says more about you than the OP. I'm not saying this to belittle or insult you, but to be real with you. It's worth exploring why you're reacting so strongly to…
/r/seduction07/01/15 10:50 PM
0

IMHO, it's worth asking yourself why you viewed the post as a humblebrag rather than someone simply offering a fresh perspective on things. I think the fact that you chose that particular lens says something about yourself. Obviously I don't know you, and chances are, I'm completely off-base since I'm making a big assumption based on your 2-line post. Still, whenever I get the impression someone is being negative (I don't know if you were being negative, it was just my impression), I think to my…
/r/seduction07/01/15 10:47 PM
3

It's somewhat of a false dichotomy. In the end, in order to pick up the girl that you actually want, you have to be attractive to women in general (i.e. relatively good at picking up girls). So in order to follow Manson's advice, you do need some old-school shit.
/r/seduction07/01/15 01:41 PM
11

If you feel that you need to prove you're better than the "other guys", then it means you're one of the "other guys". Wanting to give her a taste of her own medicine is immature, inauthentic silliness. You want to mindfuck her so you're all she thinks about? If you're coming from this frame, it means she's already winning because you're still playing into her game. If this girl is like a sister to why, then why are you trying to mindfuck her? Why are you playing a shitty game if you guys are (su…
/r/seduction06/01/15 12:59 PM
7

Do you have a lot of experience with sex? If not, then it's likely just a matter of inexperience. Expanding your comfort zone is terrifying, because your primitive brain thinks, "expanding my comfort zone can lead to death, FUCK THAT". Really, it's just a matter of feeling scared as hell, and doing the thing you gotta do despite it. It's not "stop being a pussy". I hate that phrase because it just furthers more negativity, rather than empower you and motivate you. Sidenote: as an exercise, try t…
/r/seduction06/01/15 12:50 PM
5

Indifference is oftentimes used to rationalize ways to avoid expanding our comfort zone. I'm not saying it's a bad thing necessarily (e.g. I don't care about learning ukelele), but it's worth asking yourself, "how else does this show up in my life?" One action can oftentimes be a reflection of how we carry ourselves through life in general.
/r/seduction06/01/15 12:37 PM
30

In future, what do you think would be a good response to this? A better question would be, "why was I fazed by her in the first place?" When you're coming from a place where you're not fazed, then virtually every response will be a good one. You'll be coming from a place where you're neither supplicating nor aggressively over-compensating. It's not about having a response for every situation. It's about handling your emotions so little things don't bother you. I don't know you, but the overall i…
/r/seduction06/01/15 12:29 PM
1

If you're unwilling to put in the work to transform yourself and develop social skills, then a bootcamp will not sustain any long-term growth. You might get a quick fix for certain issues, but unless you nurture the skills taught in a bootcamp, you won't get anything out of it in the long-run. I'm not saying this to discourage you, but to give you a more realistic idea of how things work. It's not like in a videogame when you reach level 50, you stay level 50 no matter what. If you don't continu…
/r/seduction05/01/15 12:34 AM
8

Sometimes, I'd say it's not so much his framework falling apart, but rather people misunderstanding it. So his book is pretty much talking about being vulnerable, being honest, and being a boss. People ask, "how do I show that I'm vulnerable?" The problem is that if you have to ask how to show vulnerability, you're not being vulnerable. If you're simply being vulnerable, you're come across as authentically vulnerable. Asking how to show vulnerability oftentimes means you're not authentically bei…
/r/seduction05/01/15 12:26 AM
2

Game isn't something you turn "on". Through practice and experience, it should become an innate part of your personality, rather than just the actions you're carrying out superficially. (Speaking very generally here. Sometimes I need to meditate or exercise or something to get myself in a more energetic mood if I, say, worked all day. But the idea is that being attractive is something you are, rather than something you do.) So yeah, I think it'll be weird. Not because you're with people who knew…
/r/seduction05/01/15 12:23 AM
1

I can't seem to be on my feet, ready to seize the moment and take chances. Then fucking take that chance! You CAN be on your feet, you just never attempted to be on your feet! When you get that moment where you freeze up and your brain starts yelling at you, "DUDE NO ABORT ABORT ABORT", you have to cowboy up and do it anyway. Experiences like these are what really elevates your game. This is expanding your comfort zone at its finest. Having that little voice is normal. It happens to everyone. Bu…
/r/seduction26/12/14 09:22 PM
2

Now, I'm going to be super, super pedantic, but I'm gonna switch up your mindset so you can empower yourself. assert his dominance by emasculating you This is coming from a victim mentality. Yes, your friend is being a dick. But look at it as, "I'm letting him emasculate me". This mindset gives you the power to keep your own frame because you're viewing it as something you can control. You're viewing it as something you change, rather than "they're doing it to me". But to answer your question, y…
/r/seduction26/12/14 09:19 PM
12

Learn to make it fun, rather than some super-serious self-development journey. Learn to see the joy of pushing your comfort zone. Learn the joys of going out at night and having a crazy time. Learn to have fun just being social and mingling around. Learn to have fun just because.
/r/seduction26/12/14 09:16 PM
20

pursue my interests almost everything I can to better myself I'm being a little pedantic, but are you pursuing those interests to better yourself? Or are you pursuing those interests because you want to? I know the feeling man. I spent a weekend gaming in the city, and then Tuesday night, I run into the QT 7/10 that I used to have a crush on in college. I suddenly turned to mush and pine over her for the next week and a half. Shit happens! We just gotta keep moving forward and loving ourselves. …
/r/seduction24/12/14 08:52 PM
1

GOOD SHIT
/r/seduction24/12/14 08:47 PM
1

Damn, good post.
/r/seduction24/12/14 06:00 PM
1

They oftentimes haven't yet experienced how to really be a leader and take action. How to face emotionally-challenging situations and deal with them. How to do something even when they don't want to. It's not a matter of lacking knowledge, but rather emotional fortitude (at least IMO).
/r/seduction24/12/14 05:59 PM
2

Keep doing new shit in your life. It doesn't have to be bungee jumping, maybe take improv lessons. Keep growing and expanding as a person.
/r/seduction24/12/14 02:45 PM
1

Spot on.
/r/seduction24/12/14 02:42 PM
3

but what can I do to establish dominance in a situation like this without A) Being a stick in the mud and telling them to piss off B) trying to out flirt them and digging myself a hole? Neither. Either way you're doing it for them, and therefore still playing their game. The dominant person doesn't need to establish dominance. They're simply dominant. That being said, I'd say avoid looking at social interactions through a lens of dominance, even though those elements oftentimes exist. Too many p…
/r/seduction24/12/14 02:34 PM
7

How you perceive yourself is generally how others will perceive you. In other words, if you make it a big deal, generally speaking it will be a big deal. Conversely, if you don't really give it any thought, then other people generally won't.
/r/seduction24/12/14 02:33 PM
10

There are so many other things you can do. Focus on the solution, not the problem.
/r/seduction24/12/14 05:02 AM
53

This is something I've been dealing with the past few months. I noticed that I've been using PUA as a defense mechanism. Basically a way to avoid being vulnerable and intimate because I didn't want to get hurt. It backfired in a lot of ways because while I was able to generate a lot of fun and value in high-energy party type situations, I didn't really form deep connections with some people that I wanted in my life.
/r/seduction24/12/14 04:58 AM
1

Would it be ok to show a touch of clinginess at this point? There's a difference between being clingy and desiring intimacy. Avoid clinginess, but don't be afraid to be intimate and vulnerable.
/r/seduction23/12/14 07:38 PM
2

How do I overcome this and remember everything I read? Take action. You don't learn martial arts by reading. You don't learn swimming by reading. You don't learn to program by reading. You don't learn to ride a bike by reading. You don't learn proper deadlift form by reading. Reading only supplements the knowledge you gain through practice. Reading is like dessert while practice is your meat and potatoes.
/r/seduction23/12/14 07:27 PM
1

I feel that you're creating a problem that doesn't exist. I believe that you're smart enough to know how to not be an asshole. And if you're unsure, just ask the person in question, "hey am I being an asshole?" I feel that this is one of those things people to do to put off taking action.
/r/seduction23/12/14 07:24 PM
2

Hm? Nah it wasn't meant to be a joke, I really feel that it's a question worth exploring. If you want her to open up, you have to be open yourself.
/r/seduction22/12/14 08:20 PM
2

Out of curiosity, why do you feel reserved towards being open about who you are, deep down?
/r/seduction22/12/14 05:04 PM
2

The difference between a man and a boy is that when a man gets that feeling of "oh my fucking god I don't know if I can do this", he does it anyway. (hooray for romanticized stereotypes) Bravery is not the absence of fear. Bravery is taking action despite fear. Confidence isn't always about knowing what to do. Sometimes, confidence is trusting yourself to handle a situation, even if you don't know how. I'm not saying this to scold or chide you. I'm saying this to be real with you. Tips and trick…
/r/seduction22/12/14 05:01 PM
2

Most people give to get. That is, most people give to others because they're actually trying to get validation or appreciation. I'm suggesting that you come from the angle of purely giving. No attachment to any appreciation or validation. The reason why people previously didn't feel it emotionally because you weren't purely giving. You were giving to get. If you had no attachment to being appreciated, then it wouldn't bother you in the slightest. And giving value is a part of what attractive, hi…
/r/seduction22/12/14 04:57 PM
1

As an excercise, try switching up your mentality from "what can they do for me" to "what can I do for them". The point I was trying to imply was that I got the impression that you're not creating a totally win-win situation, because I felt that on some level, you were being outcome dependent.
/r/seduction22/12/14 04:48 PM
3

Ask yourself, "am I doing this because I genuinely want to create a win-win situation? Or am I doing this because I'm trying to take something from her (e.g. validation or sex)?" Be very honest with yourself. When you have your "being" down, the "doing" will come naturally (or you'll at least experiment with shit you're unsure of).
/r/seduction22/12/14 04:37 PM
2

Create comfort and rapport. Make sex and intimacy a win-win situation, rather than something you take away from them (if that makes any sense).
/r/seduction22/12/14 04:16 PM
1

Well, what do you want to know about her?
/r/seduction22/12/14 01:23 PM
3

Just be honest. Why do you want to go out with her? Not everything requires a witty one-liner. I'd argue that it's often better to just be a real as fuck than to use a canned line.
/r/seduction21/12/14 03:15 PM
1

Be passionate and talk about what you're passionate about. Genuinely be interested in what she's passionate about and listen. If you want real conversations, then you have to be real.
/r/seduction21/12/14 03:10 PM
2

I feel that your mindset is slightly selfish because it feels like you're coming from a place of, "what can these people do for me". It might be worth your effort to switch it up to, "what can I do for other people". Again, it doesn't seem like you're coming from a place where you want to create a win-win situation.
/r/seduction20/12/14 09:54 PM
2

Ask yourself, "am I doing this because I'm trying to take something from her? Or am I truly, genuinely trying to create a mutually beneficial situation?" Again, it's not about the specific actions, but rather the place that you're coming from.
/r/seduction20/12/14 09:41 PM
1

How can i create connection on the dancefloor? Focus on creating a win-win situation, however that plays out in the moment. I will try some high energy goofy stuff. It's not about the specific actions you're performing, but the place that you're coming from. Like, if you're being goofy for the sake of trying to get a reaction, you're not exactly coming from the most optimal place.
/r/seduction20/12/14 09:21 PM
3

You're all picking fights. Can't we just relax and rim each other? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
/r/seduction20/12/14 09:19 PM
59

Yeah, have fun! When you have fun, fucking girls is a natural side-effect because they want to have fun too. Personally, when I make getting laid my goal, I end up being weird and overly-attached. So nowadays, I just tell myself to have fun. That way, when I end up talking to a girl, I'm coming from the right place.
/r/seduction20/12/14 08:35 PM
1

When i see a cute HB <=7 and try to force an IOI with a smile, wink, point, glas raise they look away or turn around or get kind of a disgust/hostile look on their face. This is a red flag for me. It seems like you're not actually generating value for the girl. As in, you're not actually creating a connection or building rapport. It seems like you're just trying to use her to get yourself off, rather than create a win-win situation. Outcome dependence, basically. I don't know what i could do dif…
/r/seduction20/12/14 08:33 PM
1

Look dude, there's a lot of information in the sidebar that tells you how to start. You just need to start. Models is a great book. Manson's advice works fantastically.
/r/seduction20/12/14 08:29 PM
1

Have a conversation with him. Ask him if he's interested in an exclusive relationship. Relax! You're over-thinking it. He might not be interested, but it's a risk you have to take.
/r/seduction20/12/14 08:26 PM
3

Not to insult you or belittle you, but worrying about these minor little nuances is actually MUCH more creepier. It might sound weird, but hear me out. People naturally ping emotions off each other, it's pretty much one of the biggest reasons why we socialize. We want to feel good being around other people and embrace positive emotions. One of the biggest tenets of seduction is to self-generate positivity, and spreading out that positivity to others by socializing. Guess what's creepier? Being t…
/r/seduction20/12/14 08:17 PM
1

There isn't really a body type that has the most success since, in the long run, women are attracted to your behaviors. Unless you're exercising/eating well for your own personal benefit, this really isn't a question that's even worth considering. Not that it's a bad question, I just mean that you're better off focusing on other things.
/r/seduction20/12/14 08:00 PM
2

No, you just need to get her number. That's it. No sugarcoated work-arounds. No tips or advice or sage wisdom here. Just grab her number. You can't avoid the freeze up. You just push past it. Only then will it go away.
/r/seduction18/12/14 06:31 AM
1

Figure out what you want out of PUA, and AA will dramatically drop.
/r/seduction18/12/14 06:27 AM
5

I know a lot of you are just going to tell me to be confident and that she's obviously into me, but I'm seriously not sure. She's generally fairly flirty. I'm pretty sure she'd be okay getting ice cream with any of our other friends. I'm about an inch shorter than her, and she's seriously an 8 or a 9. I'm not saying she's out of my league, I'm just trying to figure out what I'm working with here. Let me tell you something that someone told me once, and it really fucked with me (in a good way). R…
/r/seduction18/12/14 06:17 AM
1

You're overthinking a very minor detail that ultimately doesn't matter all that much. IMO, her calling you innocent isn't a problem. The real problem is that you're overanalyzing something that really carries no significance. It's essentially putting her on a pedestal. Well, it's not really a problem. Just something to keep in mind. Innocence in itself isn't a good or bad thing. Like with pretty much all traits, if you're genuinely confident about it and you own it up, you're fine.
/r/seduction18/12/14 06:03 AM
1

how can I be bold in a more seductive manner? I might be wrong on this one, but I'm going to assert that you already know how. So it's not a matter of acquiring more knowledge, it's a more of a matter of just cowboy-ing up and doing the thing you gotta do.
/r/seduction18/12/14 01:28 AM
2

Practice makes perfect!
/r/seduction15/12/14 03:00 PM
1

obviously others feel different about that was just bringing my point across brother. That's totally cool, but remember, this is a public forum. If someone disagrees with you, they'll probably debate about it. ;) I just feel if i need to be vulnerable, i have 1 or 2 friends plus family by my side to help me through If it's working for you, then awesome. I've just found that, in my experience, if I felt that I couldn't be vulnerable, honest, and real with someone, it was worth re-evaluating why I…
/r/seduction09/12/14 03:41 PM
2

You could try directly asking him what he wants. I mean, we can speculate all we want, but it's really just mental masturbation in the end. ;)
/r/seduction09/12/14 03:39 PM
2

As someone who grew up with an inferiority complex (this is just a story I'm telling about myself and it's kind of an excuse, but screw you I'm telling a story here), this is one of those things that I tend to forget. Lots of people in general don't do self-development. It's easy to forget that they can be intimidated too, especially when you meet someone who's happiness is dependent on "dirty highs", rather than a good career, healthy social circle, big goals, etc.
/r/seduction09/12/14 03:37 PM
2

You have no club game? I mean, based on your post, I'm guessing it's because you're not taking action about it. It's like saying "I'm played piano a few times over the past two years, but I'm still not that good?"
/r/seduction09/12/14 03:34 PM
1

It might be worth recording yourself in-set to hear/see yourself doing your thing. You might discover things about yourself that you never noticed previously. The principles behind seduction are pretty universal. It's hard to pinpoint what you're missing without really knowing what you're doing and how you're being. Recording yourself might give yourself better insight. It also might serve you to be brutally honest about your approaches and overall mental paradigm. You listed a lot of your "on-p…
/r/seduction09/12/14 03:27 PM
1

Learn about the general principles behind good seduction, and from there, you'll be able to ask yourself questions like: Was I being needy/outcome dependent? Was I creating rapport/attraction/comfort/etc.? Was I being self-amused and holding my frame? Was I creating a real connection? Was I being sexual (whether through conversation, kino, overall vibe, etc.)? etc. On one hand, getting a lot of practice is good. On the other hand, getting practice without knowing what you're supposed to be pract…
/r/seduction09/12/14 03:19 PM
1

My point was, once you have already got the girl, being vulnerable with them realistically, isn't playing into your own hand only into hers. IMHO, if you can't be vulnerable and open with a girl you already "got", then the whole relationship isn't worth it in the first place. just know it may bite you in the ass if its with the wrong person. I mean, yeah. Being open and vulnerable isn't some tactic to be used out of our pick-up toolbag, so to speak. It's about being honest and real. The whole po…
/r/seduction08/12/14 11:58 PM
1

Hahaha, good point. I guess I just like to romanticize it.
/r/seduction08/12/14 08:30 PM
1

Good ol' empathy.
/r/seduction08/12/14 08:27 PM
6

Well, yeah, sometimes when you breakup with women, they stop liking you... Haters gonna hate, man. Some people are gonna talk shit about you. It's a great way for you to tell who you don't want in your life. It's not even a female thing, it's a people thing. Men talk just as much shit as women. Why focus on negativity and being a victim? Why reinforce irrational sexist beliefs that don't serve you? It only creates more negativity which affects our future relationships, work, lifestyle, personali…
/r/seduction08/12/14 08:24 PM
17

It's being vulnerable without being weak or needy! You can try to appear not weak or needy, but it'll come out sooner or later.
/r/seduction08/12/14 06:10 PM
3

It might be worth going to therapy just to have a professional to talk to. Depending on the therapist, you might get something out of it. I wouldn't know. I've actually considered going to therapy just to have someone to talk to, because sometimes it feels inappropriate to tell my friends certain issues. You might also find support in /r/raisedbynarcissists Avoid the whole "I'm a victim" frame. It's a dark pool of negativity that exists to jerk ourselves off. I'm not saying you're doing this, bu…
/r/seduction08/12/14 02:59 PM
1

Feel the emotions of sensuality in yourself, and the actions come naturally. Otherwise, you're merely emulating sensuality and it comes off as fake. Practicing definitely helps, and I think I'm going too deep into this, but practice without the emotions guiding it creates the whole "technical master but without soul" thing. I mean I guess it doesn't really matter much if you just want to dance in a club or something, but it's something worth considering.
/r/seduction08/12/14 02:53 PM
2

Well, let me shift things up for you. I'm going to assert that you feel weird because whether consciously or subconsciously, you feel that you're taking something from other people and that you have nothing to offer back. Many men get into PUA because they want to fill an emotional void in their hearts. I don't want to judge them as "wrong" because I'm sure they went through a lot of shit to get to that point, but it's definitely something they should switch up. I'm guessing that you're approach…
/r/seduction08/12/14 02:50 PM
1

Thank you for being open. I've been working on my life coaching skills recently because I love supporting my friends/family/peers with their goals. There's still a lot of kinks that I need to work on, but feedback like this shows that I'm doing some things right. :)
/r/seduction08/12/14 02:35 PM
1

It's possible that you also need more practice and experience (i.e. go on more day 2s).
/r/seduction08/12/14 02:31 PM
66

I realized I was the "nice guy", telling her all my feelings, telling her what nobody else knew about me, asking her where she want to go, when se wanted to see me etc... There's nothing wrong with being open and vulnerable (it's actually a sign of MASSSIVE confidence)... as long as you're doing it for the right reasons. That being said, it's pretty freakin' awesome that you're owning your own life and being responsible about it. Good shit!
/r/seduction08/12/14 02:29 PM
1

Understand that when a girl likes you, she wants you to touch her. I don't know about you guys, but if I like a girl and she touches me, I still get a little giddy inside. Same concept. Practice. You won't emotionally internalize the above bullet point without experience, much like you can't learn to ride a bicycle through a textbook. Listen to her words and body language. It will tell you everything you need to know in terms of "should I push harder?" or "am I being too aggressive?" or "is this…
/r/seduction08/12/14 02:25 PM
2

What else can I say to differentiate myself from other guys and create more attraction? I'm under the impression that you're coming from the wrong frame. I'm under the impression that you're putting the girl on a pedestal. That you want to differentiate yourself because you want to impress her, not because you're owning up your own unique personality and skills and values. What questions do you guys ask to have more interesting conversations? Questions in themselves don't necessarily generate in…
/r/seduction07/12/14 03:28 PM
1

Go for it, but give her the space to say "no". I don't want to tell you exactly what to say, because it would rob you of a great opportunity to learn and grow.
/r/seduction07/12/14 04:16 AM
1

Well, what is your end goal out of this interaction?
/r/seduction07/12/14 04:08 AM
1

Basically, it sounds like you're avoiding situations that might make you feel bad and force you to grow and mature. To me, it sounds like "not interested in approaching" is really just you're way of saying "I'm scared of approaching".
/r/seduction07/12/14 04:07 AM
1

Listen to the other person/people, rather than search in your head for the right thing to say. If you're doing the latter, then it means you're not actually listening to the other person. Prioritize listening over thinking of the "right" thing to say, because searching for the "right" thing to say is 99% of the time caring too much about your silly self-image.
/r/seduction07/12/14 04:04 AM
3

You deal with her the same way you'd deal with any other girl. Be high value, assume attraction, and go for it.
/r/seduction07/12/14 04:02 AM
1

Help With what? I'm being a bit of a pedantic asshole, but you haven't actually asked for anything.
/r/seduction07/12/14 04:00 AM
5

Maybe it's because I've reached a base-level of confidence where it's possible that even my nervousness comes from some level of confidence, I've been finding that, in my experience, I'm much better off owning my own anxiety and self-doubt rather than trying too hard to seem cool or non-chalant.
/r/seduction07/12/14 03:58 AM
0

You're welcome.
/r/seduction05/12/14 03:24 PM
2

I don't know what happened but I just couldn't move. Yes, you could've. Somewhere in your brain, you decided, "staying in my comfort zone has a higher priority than taking a risk and going for this girl". How can I overcome this? By just doing it. I read so many articles, but it seems that wasn't enough. It's one thing to read about something and it's another thing to actually take action about it. Like, you can't learn how to ride a bicycle through a textbook. Many things in life need to be lea…
/r/seduction05/12/14 03:21 PM
1

I come from a family with more traditional values and I could never just go up to random hot girls and do some of the things that you guys do. While our upbringing definitely has a massive affect on who we are as people, at the same time, this is also just a story you're telling yourself. How can I be successful with ladies without drastically changing how I act toward women and maintaining my inner nerd? Right now, I feel that you have a false dichotomy between "being successful with women" and…
/r/seduction05/12/14 03:18 PM
1

"Hi"
/r/seduction05/12/14 03:13 PM
1

How do I approach a girl that I like? Propel yourself forward by putting one foot in front, and using the other foot to push the ground behind you. Once you're a reasonable distance from her, use your respiratory system to emit vibrations into the atmosphere that create the sound "hello". Sorry, I'm being a total dick. But I'm just teasing you for your own benefit. :) What do I say to get it started? How do I keep the conversation going? Let me switch it up a bit. Are you interested in getting t…
/r/seduction05/12/14 03:13 PM
1

am I too much in my head? Yeah is there any easy way to fix this? Nah. Meditation helps. It's simple but it ain't easy.
/r/seduction05/12/14 03:07 PM
1

Maybe this is a bit beyond your level (not trying to be insulting, but just real), but don't come from the frame where you have to "keep her interested". It's putting her on a pedestal. Come from the frame where she has to keep YOU interested. Why should you be dating just any girl? You have standards for the women in your life. She should be the one who tries to keep YOU interested. The thing is, it's not what you talk about that keeps her interested. Rather, it's your qualities and your way of…
/r/seduction05/12/14 03:06 PM
1

Be open and vulnerable. It's not about the "doing", but the way that you're being. For example, talk about the things that create feels in you. But don't talk about them for the sake of talking about them. Talk about them because you genuinely want to share yourself and be open around her.
/r/seduction05/12/14 03:02 PM
2

On one hand, it just plain ol' takes time. Dating other girls helps. Keep on your "path" in life. Your career, your health, your hobbies, your friends, your family, etc.
/r/seduction05/12/14 02:59 PM
1

Is this generally true or can people become attracted to you over the long term too? I think you're asking the wrong question. I think what you really want is to just ask her out. :) It might not go the way you like it, but the way I see it, the more you live your life avoiding the things that you want, well, you'll never actually get what you want because you're not actually going for what you want!
/r/seduction05/12/14 02:59 PM
1

Agreed with ThrowawayPUA. Focus on taking action and on the outside world, rather than your thoughts and delving inward.
/r/seduction05/12/14 02:57 PM
2

Literally be their platonic friend instead of a girl you're trying to date/fuck. You could superficially carry out the actions of not fucking her, but it doesn't mean all that much if you still trying to fuck her on the inside.
/r/seduction05/12/14 02:56 PM
1

Is it a matter of picking up IOIs? Or is it a matter of being reluctant to act on them as they happen?
/r/seduction26/11/14 02:12 PM
1

Canned lines, cold approaches, whatever you want to refer to them as I mean, those are two completely different things. Don't equate canned lines with cold approaching, because you can cold approach by being 100% genuine and fresh (not that using routines is necessarily fake). Going from serious AA to approaching girls like that is, for me at least, too much. Isnt there some sort of less 'out there' way to approach it? "Hi, I'm woodythrowaway".
/r/seduction26/11/14 02:11 PM
1

Out of curiosity, how old are you? For your first point, no. I have no desire to get involved in relationships or sex. Might as well say that I'm celibate. :P Totally fair All the friends who I know keep telling me I'll change my mind once I get into them, but I have my doubts. I really urge you to at least try. It's easy to not know what you're missing out when you've never experienced it. You might logically understand what you're missing out on, but you won't really emotionally and experienti…
/r/seduction26/11/14 01:52 PM
1

Well, you're not wrong, but that in itself doesn't solve the issue. Plenty of strong lifters who beat themselves up because they still consider themselves weak.
/r/seduction26/11/14 04:57 AM
1

You could try asking her why she feels that way. She might not know why, but it's an avenue worth exploring.
/r/seduction26/11/14 04:54 AM
1

Don't be you be someone better. This is a massive double-edged sword. While the overall message of "be the best that you can be" is good, many people never realize that once they reach a certain point, they can stop running the internal rat race. So many guys here suffer from the inability to accept themselves for who they are. Yeah, if you're a 300lb virgin who plays WoW for 16 hours/day, then you probably shouldn't just accept yourself. But if you're a relatively well-adjusted guy who's on the…
/r/seduction26/11/14 04:51 AM
2

I think you're overthinking this. I think that creating such an in-depth model could prevent you from being present to the moment when you're actually talking to the girl, thus preventing you from generating attraction and even executing the things that you're trying to model in the first place. A sportscaster might know the ins and outs of soccer, but it doesn't necessarily make him a good soccer player.
/r/seduction26/11/14 03:56 AM
2

Is race a big factor for most women when guys approach you? Race is pretty much irrelevant in the long run. Or is it more about the conversation and where it goes from there? Yeah, you could argue that.
/r/seduction26/11/14 03:54 AM
2

No, you're not being a pussy. No need for negative self-talk! It's just detrimental all-around and is counterproductive. But, you're still not talking to her. If you feel that you could be doing something about it, then that probably means you should do something about it, no?
/r/seduction26/11/14 03:53 AM
1

I have zero motivation/desire to get laid, go out on dates, or be romantically involved with women. Yes, the v-card is well intact Welp, do you even want romantic relationships and/or passionate sex? If you don't, then it's totally understandable why you'd have zero motivation. I can't see the above point changing at any point in the future (for now, let's say 10 years) I mean, it's easy to be apathetic about amazing, home-cooked Italian food when you've (presumably) never had it before. Talk an…
/r/seduction26/11/14 03:51 AM
4

Mold you? I mean this in the most loving way possible, but bitch, mold yourself. This is your life. It ain't no daycare. Let me repeat, it's YOUR life. You'd love to make a move? No you fucking don't! If you wanted to make a move, you would've made one! Think about it. You're placing a higher priority on "not looking bad" over "making a move"! Nobody here can do anything for you. We can only give you the road signs, but you gotta walk the road. The fact that you're expecting things to be spoon-f…
/r/seduction26/11/14 03:38 AM
1

Well, it's one thing to dislike bars because you dislike bars. It's another thing to dislike bars because you dislike pushing your comfort zone. (Not "you" you, but "you-guys-in-general" you) Like, some people are genetically hardwired such that cilantro tastes terrible to them. So if they dislike cilantro, it's not because they're reluctant to try new food or something. They just dislike that shit!
/r/seduction26/11/14 03:19 AM
1

I'm just wondering what style specifically applies to these relatively conservative, sexually-inexperienced, and potentially socially-awkward girls? It really, really depends, because not every girl is the same. They might have similar characteristics superficially, but ultimately, you're going to have to maneuver in the moment. Listen to her and be present to her, and she'll give you everything you need to know. Otherwise, you're just doing shit for the sake of doing shit, rather than doing shi…
/r/seduction26/11/14 03:15 AM
1

It sounds like when you're dancing with her, you're in your head and totally overthinking about it. The girls might be leaving because they're feeling awkward because you're feeling awkward. You're slightly behind because you're not being present to the moment, and overthinking details that don't matter. Dancing is about letting loose and just having fun, it sounds like you're forgetting that. So have fun and let loose. There's no "method" to do that, you need to discover that for yourself. Even…
/r/seduction25/11/14 02:55 PM
1

Is it bad that I dislike approaching / struggle with it at bars? Are you sure it's bars themselves? Or do you dislike bars because it's outside your comfort zone? It's a question that's worth exploring. Bars create fantastic opportunities that aren't just about picking up women. I've met a lot of business leads through general socializing in bars. Lots of guys on /r/seduction say that they dislike bars, but it always makes me think, do they dislike bars because they dislike bars? Or do they disl…
/r/seduction25/11/14 02:50 PM
1

Think about it like this: do you really, really need someone to tell you how to act in different social situations? Like, when you're in the office for work, do you need someone to tell you not to yell obscene racial slurs? Chances are, probably not. You have enough intelligence and social conditioning so that you can make intelligent guesses as to what's the appropriate course of action. It's also known as "social calibration". Look, you're an intelligent human being who's able to think critica…
/r/seduction25/11/14 02:40 PM
1

What do YOU find funny?
/r/seduction21/11/14 02:04 PM
1

Well, from what it sounds like, it sounds like you don't really give a shit about the girl. You're just using FORD as a technique to get your dick in a hole, rather than genuinely trying to learn some shit about them. It doesn't sound like you really give a shit about their family or dreams or hobbies. It seems like you're just saying some shit because someone told you to say it. Fucking girls is easy when you've created a real connection with them, even if it's just for a night. Girls can tell …
/r/seduction21/11/14 02:04 PM
1

I don't want to feel good because a girl is interested in me. That's silly. I mean, there's a difference between a dirty, egotistical "I'm getting validated so I can feel good about myself now" high and "I like her and she likes me, fuck yes!" Don't neglect your emotions. Being vulnerable and honest are some of the biggest pillars to create real connections. Now, I don't know you or your experiences, but based on your post alone, I'm getting the impression that you don't want to feel good becaus…
/r/seduction21/11/14 01:57 PM
3

Take action. Take massive fucking action. We cannot give you a magic pill that suddenly teaches you confidence, healthy sexuality, and leadership. That shit is developed through life experience. Go fucking get some. Go to more parties. Find some new social hobbies. Advance your career. Try out a new coffee shop. Go to bars more frequently. See your friends and family. Learn an instrument. Look for parkour instructors. etc. etc. etc. It's not a matter of approaching attractive women or social anx…
/r/seduction21/11/14 01:48 PM
1

But I can't tell if I'm not giving her enough to go on or if I'm just being needy. Well, are you giving her enough to go on? Are you being needy?
/r/seduction21/11/14 01:43 PM
1

Life isn't always peaches and roses. You know what you call experiences like these? Learning experiences. Wanna know how some of the manliest, confident, powerful men got to where they are? They had experiences like these. They know what it's like to feel like complete utter shit. They know what it's like to feel trampled and stepped on. That's why they're confident. That's why they're powerful. They don't give a fuck about many things because they know what it's like when things really, really …
/r/seduction21/11/14 01:40 PM
2

. However, my blind-spot like many other noobs is picking up on cues that women give off. I find that HB's 8-10 are generally more sneaky in these matters. Is it really a matter of picking up on cues? Or, is the problem really pretending not to see the cues because you're reluctant to take action if you said to yourself, "yep those are cues"? I was wondering if there are certain subtle or even subconscious cues that a girl gives when she's interested? There's an infinite variety of cues that a g…
/r/seduction21/11/14 01:31 PM
9

It depends on the context. It's worth exploring why you're not feeling it. "Introversion" can be a great excuse to avoid committing to your word. For example, if you said you were going to do 10 approaches, but when push comes to shove you're like, "nah bro I'm not feeling it", then go do your approaches. If you're not feeling it because you didn't get a chance to eat and you're dehydrated while working a 12-hour work day, then you're probably better off going home and kicking back. Or maybe not…
/r/seduction21/11/14 01:28 PM
2

"Gaming" low self-esteem girls and "gaming" high self-esteem girls shouldn't be any different. Be/Become a high-value man and oftentimes women will naturally be attracted to you. If you feel that seduction is something you need to "do", rather than something that you "are", then you should work on switching your mentality. Avoid focusing on the superficial aspects of seduction. It's not about lines or routines (though they make for nice, occasional fallbacks), it's about being a high-value man w…
/r/seduction10/11/14 09:31 PM
1

Be authentic. Don't be a dick. But, if she gets offended by your authenticity, that's her problem IMO. If she can't handle who you are, you're better off moving on. Being inauthentic means lacking personal integrity.
/r/seduction10/11/14 09:23 PM
1

It's not that women dislike intellect. It's just that a lot of intellectual guys happen to be really boring. Remember that oftentimes, this kind of socializing is about sharing and embracing positive emotions, not about logical exchanges of information. I just graduated with a computer science major. We're not known to be good with women. I do pretty well, if I say so myself. Being smart is alright. As with any trait, some girls will like it, others won't. However, it's almost universal that gir…
/r/seduction10/11/14 09:22 PM
0

Well, here's the thing. You're always going to get hurt. It's a part of life. It's how you grow and mature. It's how you learn. Avoiding pain means you're not living life. It means you're putting a shell around yourself because you're afraid to face what's out there. You can use it as motivation to start off, but don't make it your end goal. If you live your life trying to avoid pain, it means you'll pretty much never enjoy it because you're constantly defending yourself from life. Being a good …
/r/seduction04/11/14 12:36 AM
2

dnt usually project any desperation Are you worried about projecting desperation, or being desperate?
/r/seduction03/11/14 03:39 AM
6

What do you want to know about her? Asking questions for the sake of asking questions is still small talk. If you want to get to the real juicy parts, you need to: talk about each other's passions genuinely be interested in them It's not about asking specific questions. It's about being genuinely interested in getting to know here, not the superficial "doing" of it. When your "being" is on-point, your actions will naturally come out because you're coming from the right place.
/r/seduction03/11/14 03:30 AM
1

Whenever I feel like it. Telling her for the sake of telling her is inauthentic. At the same time, NOT telling her for the sake of not telling her is also inauthentic. Either way, you're coming from a place where you're not being real, which is often pretty lame. It's needless micromanagement.
/r/seduction31/10/14 04:34 AM
1

Chances are, it is a viable option. Unless it literally, literally isn't a possibility for him, he can make it work. When people want something bad enough, they will work for it. I've seen people who are full-time students and full-time workers who make time to exercise and socialize.
/r/seduction29/10/14 10:49 PM
2

Ask them out and find out.
/r/seduction29/10/14 11:29 AM
2

Practice more. There is no magic pill, mystical advice, or silver bullet that will magically help you overcome your shyness. It's simply a matter of investing time/effort and maintaining consistency in your practice. Check out a book or a guide or video to show you how to practice, but really, you just gotta practice intelligently for a long period of time. Like, if you're trying to lose weight, a magic diet/routine won't cause you to instantly shed pounds. You gotta do it for a long period of t…
/r/seduction29/10/14 03:48 AM
2

Having healthy relationships is a part of "getting your life in order". For me, having women in my life makes me happy. If that area were to dip, it would affect my work and health and so-on. There's no reason why OP can't do both. Speaking as a web developer, you can only work so many hours in a given day. You still need to have fun and relax. Hanging out with women and socializing is a part of that fun and relaxation.
/r/seduction29/10/14 03:47 AM
2

If you have a genuine interest in magic, then by all means you can make it work. It's because you're not really using magic to generate attraction. You're expressing who you are as a person, and that's generating attraction. Magic in itself isn't necessarily that attractive or cool. For example, using it as a gimmick in a tryhard fashion ain't a great idea. But if you have a genuine interest in magic and it's just an avenue of self-expression for you, then it's worth seeing how you can make it w…
/r/seduction29/10/14 03:43 AM
2

Are you being high energy for the sake of being high energy? Or are you being high energy because you want to date/fuck her? If your fundamental, underlying goal is to date/fuck her and create a connection (whether it's emotional, purely physical, both, whatever), then it doesn't matter what energy level you're at. You're going to communicate it regardless through your body language, emotional vibe, vocal tonality, words, etc.
/r/seduction28/10/14 12:43 PM
1

Be willing to be vulnerable and authentic. Stop looking for things to say. If you're feeling nervous, just be nervous. What are some clever ways you guys have gone about it? Instead of looking for clever ways, just be real about it. "Hey, I'd like to take you out sometime". "What's your number? We should grab coffee next week". Etc. The impression that I'm getting from your post is that you're not fundamentally coming from a place of authenticity. To me, it seems that you're looking for band-aid…
/r/seduction28/10/14 12:39 PM
1

I basically have no time for them Well, it's more of an issue of you're not making time for them.
/r/seduction28/10/14 12:34 PM
3

IMO, that's not your issue. Your issue is that you're not willing to be honest, authentic, and vulnerable. You don't need a method to bring it up. You just need to bring it up. If you feel awkward or nervous, just be awkward or nervous. You're much better off dealing with the fact that you're nervous rather than trying to avoid it through a technique or whatever. I'm gonna be a little blunt with you. puaCurveBall said "honestly communicate". Asking "how should I bring it up" gives me the impress…
/r/seduction28/10/14 12:25 PM
3

It's not a contest. Sure, you can escalate in some circumstances, but if your fundamental mentality is trying to "one-up" her, then you're not really doing anything worthwhile. It's because you're not really trying to date or fuck her. You're just trying to needlessly micromanage your social interactions for whatever reason (e.g. avoid looking dumb). Furthermore, if your focus is on "one-upping" rather than staying in the moment and doing what's appropriate for that moment, you're not really lis…
/r/seduction28/10/14 12:19 PM
2

"Hello, I'm <x>"
/r/seduction27/10/14 05:20 AM
1

You don't get over AA before you approach. You get over AA by approaching.
/r/seduction16/10/14 01:13 PM
4

Remember to thank yourself! YOU are the one that's taking action. YOU are the one that's improving. Seddit is merely a road sign. You're the one walking the road!
/r/seduction10/10/14 04:44 AM
1

I feel that some of you guys are focusing on the superficial details of his story, and missing out on his larger point. Hell, seems like some of you didn't even read his post.
/r/seduction10/10/14 04:43 AM
1

Sometimes, we have to leave people behind. I don't mean kick them off a cliff or anything, but if you're taking a metaphorical trip to a fancy island, they might not want to come along. On the other hand, it's worth investigating, "how am I making my friends feel when I hang out with them?" Maybe, in your head, you're just trying to share your experiences and talk about your interests. That's totally fine, but it might be worth thinking to yourself, "how am I affecting them when I do this?" Like…
/r/seduction10/10/14 04:39 AM
1

I personally wouldn't worry too much about advice, because it means that I'm keeping myself in a logical mindset. For a party, I want to be in a more emotional, social frame. So, instead of whispering advice, I might say a joke or something. It'll lighten the mood and make the party more fun. Pickup happens when you're having fun (whether to approach or draw them in). Sure, there's some logical thinking involved because of logistics and because we're not idiots, but for the most part, pickup is …
/r/seduction10/10/14 04:33 AM
2

Being a virgin by itself doesn't matter. The problem is really being the type of man who can't get laid. There's a subtle difference. If you think that girls think that you're looking for sympathy, maybe you're just projecting. Or maybe you are communicating that on a subtle level. To be honest, I think that if you feel a little embarassed admitting it, maybe on some level, you are looking for validation that being a virgin is okay (i.e. looking for sympathy). I mean, hell, you made this thread …
/r/seduction10/10/14 04:28 AM
1

Don't want it too much. Then, you won't appear that way. Trying to appear un-needy when you are needy pretty much means "be fake and dishonest". You want to avoid that route in the long run. It prevents you from truly maturing as a better man. Find other things to do with your time. Maybe it's more girls. Maybe it's a new hobby. Maybe it's taking a hiking trip. Maybe it's spending more time with your friends. Or, maybe it's more girls. :)
/r/seduction10/10/14 04:14 AM
2

Don't give compliments to test the waters. It's being dishonest, and good game is authentic and honest (i.e. being a bad-ass, real motherfucker). Give compliments because you truly feel something is worth complimenting. IMO, the whole mentality behind feeling the need to test the waters is wrong. Shit, I couldn't think of a way to phrase that without sounding like a dick. Sorry. Anyway, the point is, don't try to "test the waters", at least in this manner. Test the waters by just asking her out …
/r/seduction10/10/14 04:10 AM
1

Agreed. It's not so much about caring what people think of you. It's more of caring about how you make others feel around you. There's a very subtle difference.
/r/seduction10/10/14 04:04 AM
10

I'm with you on that. We can talk about maintaining our frame, but most of us aren't Shaolin monks, we're probably gonna be affected by our environment. I've been finding it more and more difficult to be on Reddit and Facebook just because of the bickering, ego, and overall negativity. It was really affecting my mentality. I'm aware of the irony, go away.
/r/seduction10/10/14 03:56 AM
1

Do you even real-life? A lot of the stuff that you're saying is just hocus pocus theory that sounds good on paper (even then not really) but doesn't have much grounding in reality. The defining filter is intelligence. Like dude, I know plenty of dumb motherfuckers that get laid a lot.
/r/seduction26/09/14 03:31 PM
2

The point is, sexual interest is something you project through the way that you're being. It's not about the superficial actions that you're taking. I'm not saying you're being superficial. I'm just saying, what is your ultimate, underlying intention? When you ask yourself, "how am I being?", think of the verb "to be" very literally. Are you licking your lips in order to demonstrate sexual interest? Or is your sexual interest oozing out of you through the way that you're being? To me, it sounds …
/r/seduction24/09/14 03:22 AM
0

Sometimes, we have to sacrifice one thing for another. It's up to you to decide what you want out of life.
/r/seduction24/09/14 03:08 AM
1

Ask yourself: am I trying to fuck/date her? Or am I just trying to do shit that /r/seduction tells me to do? In other words, what is your real, underlying intention?
/r/seduction24/09/14 03:06 AM
5

What a useless post which had no purpose other than to bring others down. Dude writes a snarky post (or probably more, has toxic effect on those around him) and thinks he's the shit. Classic
/r/seduction22/09/14 11:19 AM
2

One is coming from a place of giving, the other is coming from a place of taking.
/r/seduction21/09/14 10:25 AM
1

https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2gfhwu/please_dont_ask_seddit_to_help_you_with_one/
/r/seduction20/09/14 12:06 PM
2

I feel as if I as a young male in his 20s with no game makes an approach I'd be shut down simply for lacking experience. Well, how do you think you're going to get experience? Kobe Bryant had to miss a lot of shots when he first started out in order to learn how to make them. Making mistakes is 100% okay! You just gotta learn from them. Disconnect your identity from your approaches. When a girl rejects you, it's not like she's rejecting the core of who you are. Don't identify with rejection. You…
/r/seduction20/09/14 12:06 PM
22

Let's assume you have good body language, stand up straight, confident, charming smile smirk, but still don't get reciprocation from women. This sounds like a situation that just doesn't happen. Even if it's a hypothetical situation, it's pointless to think about since it would have no bearing in real life. Look, you could be the hottest, richest man on Earth and a lot of women would still find you unattractive. If you are confident, have good body language, fairly self-actualized, etc., then th…
/r/seduction20/09/14 11:51 AM
4

TL;DR: Motivate me to be less of a pussy! Look at it the other way! You don't want to just be "less of a pussy". You want to be a motherfucking winner!
/r/seduction19/09/14 02:41 PM
1

https://pay.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2gfhwu/please_dont_ask_seddit_to_help_you_with_one/
/r/seduction18/09/14 02:55 AM
3

how to not be seen as, that friendly guy, whilst avoiding coming on to strongly. You don't. If you don't come off strong, you'll be seen as the friendly guy. End of story. The only exception is if she already likes you. Otherwise, you can't. If you want to take it a step forward, then take it a step forward. Do you want to flirt with her? Then flirt with her. It sounds like you don't really know what you want. By that, I mean, you're too afraid to go for what you actually want. I'd say, you real…
/r/seduction17/09/14 09:39 PM
2

You're focusing too much on a detail that doesn't matter. The answer isn't telling you what to do with your hands. The answer is to stop focusing on your hands so much.
/r/seduction17/09/14 09:32 PM
2

Who knows, maybe I'm the problem. Oh, sorry, that's not what I was going for. I didn't mean to imply that you're the problem. I was just assuming you were adopting a victim mentality, so I wanted you to start thinking with the mindset, "what can I do about it" rather than "I can't change other people".
/r/seduction17/09/14 09:20 PM
1

I protect my investments. What I did with her & molded her for my tastes takes investment. Which men protect. You're still fundamentally coming from a place of scarcity.
/r/seduction17/09/14 12:39 AM
1

It's not that you can't do it. Rather, you're making the choice to not do it. Make the choice to do it, and commit to that choice. Yeah, I get that you're fucking pissed. But you know what? At the end of the day, the fact of the matter is that you'd rather go home and have a wank rather than talk to a girl. You still desire your comfort zone over self-improvement. Even if you're not consciously aware of it, that's what your actions are saying. It's not that something external is blocking you. It…
/r/seduction17/09/14 12:36 AM
1

TLDR I went out 2 times and can't seem to attract anyone or get women to dance with me. Can anyone tell me what I'm missing? This is like saying, "I went to the gym twice and I'm not swole, I don't have the right genetics to be fit!" This is like saying, "I played violin twice and I'm not a virtuoso, I just don't have the talent!" This is like saying, "I just practiced two math problems but I'm nowhere near as smart as Einstein, why am I so stupid?" There's a lot of good information out there. C…
/r/seduction17/09/14 12:32 AM
2

How you do one thing is how you do everything. Be an interesting person overall. You can't suddenly, magically transform into an interesting person just because you're in a conversation with a woman. How do you convey a more interesting persona? Well, the fact that you want to convey an interesting persona rather than actually having an interesting personal says a lot. Think about that. But to answer your question, be interested in yourself and them. "Interesting" is something that you are, not …
/r/seduction17/09/14 12:26 AM
5

Not only that, but the The Game was released a decade ago. People mature over a decade. 30-something year old Owen is much different than how he was when he was in his early 20s.
/r/seduction17/09/14 12:21 AM
6

Ask yourself, "what can I do to bring out the authentic side in people?" Maybe they are really shallow and boring. Definitely a possibility. On the other hand, as an exercise, see what you can do to bring out the girl's authentic side. What you're doing is adopting a victim mentality, even if it's a very slight one.
/r/seduction17/09/14 12:19 AM
1

Read books/articles and practice a lot. There's a lot resources that can teach you the nitty-gritty details, and I'm sure you're intelligent enough to find them. The sidebar is a good starting point. It doesn't matter that you don't know how to seduce. The only thing that matters is that you're willing to learn and put in the effort to practice. If you're not, then you're pretty much shit out of luck. How the hell am I supposed to do this? I just forsee it ending up so fucking badly. Well yeah, …
/r/seduction11/09/14 03:56 PM
1

Check "Models" by Mark Manson. It's a great male dating book. Over the last few months I've been focusing on improving this aspect of myself and I'm getting there slowly but it feels like the improvement is happening way too slowly. Then take more action. Ask yourself, "how much time am I honestly spending on self-improvement?" Chances are, if you feel as though the improvement is happening too slowly, then you're really not investing that much effort and time. Ask yourself, "am I merely dipping…
/r/seduction11/09/14 03:53 PM
2

Right now for you, it doesn't matter what you say. You just have to say something. You'll learn what to say after time, practice, and experience. Right now, "looking for something to say" is just the excuse you're using to avoid taking action. Because the thing is, you can say just about anything. "What do I say" really doesn't matter all that much. It seems like it matters to you, probably because you don't have much experience so the little things seem like big deals.
/r/seduction11/09/14 03:45 PM
2

One advises that in college you can only do two out of these three things: get girls, get ripped, and get good grades. Right now I'm doing a great job getting ripped and a good job on grades. Should I just stop caring completely about the social realm and focus all my energy on my writing, grades, guitar, and lifting? That way I could emerge from this cocoon of higher education in a prime position to get girls? No, don't do this. You definitely have time to do everything. Maybe you won't get as …
/r/seduction11/09/14 03:41 PM
2

How do I know if she is single without being to forward? You don't. You have to be forward. Otherwise, you get friendzoned. That's it. I don't want to screw it up Play to win. Don't play it safe. Playing it safe means you'll pretty much never get what you want, because you're never actually going for what you want. "I don't want to screw it up" means you're more worried about looking bad than actually dating her. Focus on dating her. Don't focus on worrying about your self-image. I don't want to…
/r/seduction11/09/14 03:08 PM
2

A solution would be to expand your social circle, though I don't have the time and frankly I prefer spending time by myself... So I don't really know what to do Well, ask yourself, "do I really not have the time? or am I just not making the time?" It's usually the second option. And yeah, I'm with you there. I like spending time with myself. But hey, with every choice we make, there's a consequence to it. We often sacrifice one thing to gain another. For example, I should be working on my portfo…
/r/seduction11/09/14 03:46 AM
0

How much effort are you honestly putting in to remembering their names and faces? You might not actually be putting in that much effort. If someone told you, "remember my name and face and I'll give you a million dollars", you'd probably remember that shit instantly, or at least made sure you memorized it.
/r/seduction11/09/14 03:41 AM
2

Ultimately, it's good to balance. But when you're learning, focus on one thing a time. Maybe for a couple months, I'll try outer-game techniques like different approaches or whatever. Then for the next couple of months, I might focus on inner-game stuff.
/r/seduction10/09/14 11:55 AM
3

I think someone is confident when they are confident, not when they're acting confident. Not when they appear confident. When they are actually confident. Confidence is believing in yourself on a very deep level. Confidence is the willingness to be open, authentic, and vulnerable. Confidence is being able to acknowledge your strengths and weaknesses. Confidence is like water. Firm, yet flexible. Solid, yet bending. Confidence is NOT the angry dick who gets mad over petty things. Confidence is NO…
/r/seduction10/09/14 11:53 AM
1

Before you get girls, focus on the overall you. There's no reason you can't do both, unless you really have extreme circumstances that prevent you. Having healthy relationships and good social skills is a part of focusing on the overall you.
/r/seduction10/09/14 11:48 AM
4

I love school. It's the people at school and their negativity that really affects me. I lose my positive attitude and confidence instantly I walk into the lecture halls. I'd recommend to not look at it as "they're doing something to me". While yes, on some level, we are affected by our environments. But, just as an exercise, try to look at it as, "I am making the choice to be affected by my environment". It's a great way to strengthen your positivity and overall mental fortitude. This mentality …
/r/seduction10/09/14 11:45 AM
2

I meditate because for me, it's the closest thing I have to a magic pill to get into state.
/r/seduction07/09/14 07:29 PM
3

It's always gotten me far better results than going into a trance and thinking too much. Man, that's like the opposite of meditation.
/r/seduction07/09/14 07:29 PM
8

Meditate.
/r/seduction03/09/14 12:30 PM
1

On the contrary, I feel like if I was outcome dependent I'd give up and just run game and get laid. Not necessarily. You can still be outcome dependent and try to work as a natural. Instantly she smiled coyly and unaffectedly, but all I could think was "ugh, do we really have to go through this". It's actually the opposite of outcome dependence, I'm annoyed at the process to the point where I'm sacrificing the outcome to try and improve the process. You're still attached to a certain outcome. Yo…
/r/seduction03/09/14 12:26 PM
9

You're being very outcome-dependent. Stop trying to get them to do something. You're very attached to the idea that they should relax. Just because you know you're cool doesn't mean they do. Basically, you're being needy. My usual approach which has consistently not worked at all for me is to not pick up on their behavior at all, and hope that eventually they'll realize it's kinda pointless and stop. What you're basically saying is that you're not listening to them and you're not viewing them as…
/r/seduction03/09/14 11:56 AM
1

Well, if you're not doing anything about it, then start doing something about it. Approach women, go out more, and socialize more. It's like saying, "well how do I be the type of person who has 6-pack abs"? Start exercising. "How do I be the type of person who's good at basketball?" Start playing more basketball.
/r/seduction03/09/14 11:52 AM
0

I was having a blast, everyone was loving me, I was the life of the party. They both went for my shy but very good looking friend towards the end of the night after spending most of their time with me. He has zero game and ended up with neither. I'm gonna go against what everyone here is saying. Maybe they didn't approach you because you were the high-value man in that situation. Girls get intimidated too. It's like when you talk to the hot girl's friend because she's easier, since the hot girl …
/r/seduction03/09/14 03:24 AM
0

It is absolutely your problem. A large part of seduction is learning to be a leader. It is your responsibility to effectively communicate and sell yourself correctly.
/r/seduction03/09/14 03:18 AM
1

How often are you taking action?
/r/seduction03/09/14 03:15 AM
1

The first time I ever asked out a girl, I broke out in cold sweats, I was stuttering (I don't have a speech impediment), I was shaking everywhere, and I was as afraid as the time I was robbed at gunpoint. You're not alone here, hahah. It goes away with time and practice.
/r/seduction03/09/14 03:14 AM
8

You have to reconcile self-improvement and self-acceptance. If you really want to be your best self, you must have both. One without the other has negative consequences. If you're currently in a "I'm gonna fucking hustle and get shit done" phase, then good for you. It means you're fucking getting shit done! Thing is, realistically speaking, you're probably not going to be in that phase forever. Manson's advice is great when you're in a more self-reflective period. This advice may not resonate wi…
/r/seduction03/09/14 03:13 AM
1

Meditate, exercise, maybe fix up your wardrobe. Maybe a new haircut? Maybe swap contacts for glasses, or glasses for contacts. Eat a clean diet, drink more water, get enough sleep. Other than that, it's jus a matter of getting more experience,
/r/seduction02/09/14 01:52 PM
3

Congratulations. Seriously. You've figured out the key to PUA. Taking action and gaining experience is ultimately how confidence and PUA skill are developed. Not mentally masturbating over videos or articles. The theory helps, but it's only a part of the equation. Without the relevant life experience and practice, the theory won't due shit.
/r/seduction01/09/14 11:16 AM
1

Unless you're genuinely honest and you're just consciously aware of what you're doing.
/r/seduction01/09/14 11:10 AM
1

You're totally right. But to the noobies, don't use this as way of rationalizing inauthentic behavior.
/r/seduction30/08/14 12:35 PM
1

What do you mean by it's not working? As in, can you tell us what's going on? More context/information would help. Plus, dude, two dates is really not a lot of data to base conclusions off of. It's like saying, "I'm new to basketball but I missed two shots, what's wrong???".
/r/seduction30/08/14 12:31 PM
2

This. A lot of girls also try to disguise their glances. Maybe they'll turn their heads as they brush their hair to the side to steal a glance. Source: guy with really long hair
/r/seduction29/08/14 04:18 PM
1

You attract what you are looking for.
/r/seduction29/08/14 12:19 PM
8

In short, he seems interested (I'm not usually wrong about this), but something he does that confuses the hell out of me is how he blatantly flirts with two other girls I work with always in front of me, not in a subtle manner at all. When I start crushing on a girl, I find it so much more difficult to flirt with her because I get nervous. I start second-guessing myself because I want her to like me (even if she already sends signals that she does). I find that it's easier for me to flirt with o…
/r/seduction29/08/14 12:00 PM
2

Yet it is the only way to communicate if you are say an introvert like myself. What do you guys think? I think you are using your introversion as an excuse to avoid in-person communication. Your introversion has no affect on your ability to communicate with other people in-person. As someone who grew up as a massive introvert/late-blooming virgin, social media is most certainly not the only way to communicate. It's a story you're telling yourself so you can avoid taking real action in your life.…
/r/seduction29/08/14 11:54 AM
9

Overthinking a detail that ultimately doesn't matter.
/r/seduction29/08/14 03:24 AM
1

You approach them. Right now, you're focusing on reasons to not take action rather than just taking action.
/r/seduction28/08/14 03:30 AM
0

Some actionable things you can do right now are to start meditating, exercise, eating correctly, staying hydrated, and getting sufficient sleep. You'd be surprised as to how much easier it is to be confident when you're simply taking care of your body. Other than that, outcome independence is IMO mostly a function of life experience. You need to do things outside of pickup and you just plain ol' need more experience in pickup. That kind of shit comes with time and effort.
/r/seduction28/08/14 03:24 AM
3

Ask yourself if you're being needy for attention. Really, really, really be honest with yourself.
/r/seduction26/08/14 08:23 PM
0

If you need a technique to show that you're not "one of those guys who'll drool over her", then it means you're one of those guys.
/r/seduction26/08/14 08:21 PM
1

Those sound like good guidelines for noobies who've spent their entire lives supplicating and being needy. But, once you're good enough to know how/when you're able to break the "rules", you shouldn't be following the "rules" just because someone said they're law. They're merely guidelines. Noobies just tend to not know what they're doing and need guidance. Someone with experience doesn't need them. Don't be emotionally vulnerable? I can see how that might be good for a noobie, because a noobie'…
/r/seduction26/08/14 08:03 PM
1

That's nerves.
/r/seduction26/08/14 07:59 PM
0

It depends on your definition of "game".
/r/seduction26/08/14 07:58 PM
1

The universe isn't telling you anything because it's inherently neutral. This is like picking up a guitar for the first time, trying to play a few chords, and then quitting because you're not the next Mozart after a couple weeks of practice. This is like learning to swim for the first time but quitting after a week because you haven't transformed into the next Michael Phelps. This is like going to the gym for a week and then quitting because you didn't suddenly develop the physique of a bodybuil…
/r/seduction26/08/14 02:21 PM
2

It's not that you can't approach girls. It's more like you're making the decision to not approach girls. You get better at approaching by approaching. In other words, practice. It's like, you get better at playing guitar by practicing guitar. You get better at swimming by practicing swimming. Sure, you're gonna want to research music theory or kinesiology or some shit to supplement your practice, but at the end of the day, the bulk of your improvement comes from practice.
/r/seduction26/08/14 02:11 PM
1

You don't keep a girl through "techniques", unless your technique is buying her flowers or some shit on her birthday (in b4 "lol only fukkin betaf4ggots get gurls gifts"). Or taking her on a spontaneous romantic date. Shit like that. Keep BEING an alpha. Keep BEING confident. It's not about what you're doing, it's about who you are.
/r/seduction26/08/14 02:08 PM
1

Make your goal to fuck or date them, rather than to just get a good interaction.
/r/seduction25/08/14 04:06 AM
0

Is this something you've actually field-tested? Or is this something you just think sounds good? Maybe I don't know the context in which you would use this, but to me, this just sounds like overcompensating.
/r/seduction23/08/14 05:58 AM
3

Reflect on your actions, learn from the mistakes, and move on.
/r/seduction21/08/14 10:19 PM
2

It hasn't, except I'll very occasionally use it as an avenue for a joke. "Girl, think you can handle me? I fucking doubt it. You can't handle my 2 inches." You're worrying about something that doesn't matter all that much. It's an understandable concern, but it doesn't really matter in the long run.
/r/seduction21/08/14 10:19 PM
1

Maybe she gets anxious around you because she views you as a baller? Or maybe she's just anxious or awkward in general. I'd personally view it as an opportunity to: hang out with a friend, because presumably you like being around her practice state transference
/r/seduction21/08/14 10:16 PM
6

You don't need to do anything differently from anyone else. You just keep practicing until you become more open around women. You don't get over your anxiety and then talk to women. You (for the most part) get over your anxiety by talking to women.
/r/seduction21/08/14 11:42 AM
2

Does it matter if it's really "game" if everyone consents and is happy?
/r/seduction21/08/14 11:40 AM
6

I like sarcasm, so I might flip the script on them. "Wow, that was totally sexual harassment." "That's not cool, I'm an innocent little boy." You can also use it as an excuse to get physical. If the vibe is right, I like using this one. Basically, get really close to her and all up in her space (you're practically hugging, but without the arms), and tell her "excuse me but you're totally invading my personal space right now". It's pretty much just an invitation to flirt back.
/r/seduction20/08/14 09:25 PM
21

Note that my post isn't meant to offend or insult. Just merely my observations. Note that I live in a large, diverse city. YMMV if you live in a small town in bumfuck nowhere. I notice how a lot of Asian, Indian or "brown" dudes in my social circles complain about how they're perceived as beta. Totally legitimate complaint, because that shit sucks. The thing is, more often than not, they're not perceived as beta because of cultural or racial stigmas. They're perceived as betas because they are b…
/r/seduction20/08/14 09:19 PM
1

It sounds like you're being authentic and vulnerable. That's pretty darn confident. I know what I do goes against a lot of signature seddit guidelines (ie, holding alpha traits, and using confidence body language) but it seems to work for me. Here's the thing about that. Most people, when they think "holding alpha traits" or "use confident body language", they're only looking at it on a surface level. For example, keep your chest out and shoulders back. That's confident body language. The proble…
/r/seduction20/08/14 01:53 PM
2

Practice until it starts being comfortable. It's the same thing as approach anxiety. You don't get over AA and then approach. You (kinda) get over AA by approaching.
/r/seduction19/08/14 02:24 AM
1

I feel confident, I bloody well am. Yet I don't feel like I am met with the respect I need. Mutually exclusive thoughts. I can't help but feel as though you are experiencing a large amount of cognitive dissonance. Someone who is "truly" confident won't care about respect. This need for respect is what's causing your lack of respect. In other words, I'm guessing that you're being needy and a little weird. Even if you're trying to hide your neediness, it will still show. I'm not saying your desire…
/r/seduction18/08/14 01:54 AM
2

Right now, you don't want to have genuine connections with people. I'm guessing you already know this. What you're really looking for is validation.
/r/seduction18/08/14 01:48 AM
1

I've been reading Models by Mark Manson and No More Mr. Nice Guy and while they both cover the need for validation I don't feel like it's helped all that much when it comes to me seeking approval. This is because simply learning about something doesn't mean you can actually do it. It's almost like expecting to be a martial arts master because you read a textbook about it. Books are merely a tool. They in themselves do not help you if you don't do anything with your new knowledge. You ultimately …
/r/seduction18/08/14 01:41 AM
2

Like he said, you are not there to entertain her. Her laughing is merely a byproduct of the overall conversation. It's the mint on the side, not the main course. Your goal isn't to make her laugh (unless you're new and starting small). Ideally, your goal is to create a genuine connection and date/fuck her.
/r/seduction18/08/14 01:37 AM
1

If you're being outcome-dependent, then they won't comply. And it's not because they're a bitch or because they're shit-testing you. It's because you are being outcome dependent. In order words, you're not being your best self. You're being needy and weird. Calling a girl a bitch or a cunt is a real easy way to avoid being responsible. Ain't it easy to blame other people?
/r/seduction18/08/14 01:34 AM
6

There's nothing that needs "salvaging". You're blowing up a minor incident out of proportion. It really, really doesn't matter. I plan on just having a better time and going off that energy. Good plan. Seriously!
/r/seduction18/08/14 01:33 AM
4

Confirmation bias. Yours, specifically.
/r/seduction18/08/14 01:26 AM
1

It's not that you don't know how to do it, or that you can't do it. Rather, you're making the choice not to do it. Even if you were lacking in information, there's plenty of available resources that you can look up on. So get look for them! Check out the sidebar for starters. You totally can do it. You're just making the choice, whether consciously or unconsciously, to NOT do it. Right now, your brain is focusing on ways to stay comfortable and avoid taking risks. Instead, you should focus on ho…
/r/seduction18/08/14 01:24 AM
1

On some level, we all have different "faces". It's merely a part of the human condition. I'm not going to be "party animal" mode during a meeting at work. I'm not going to be in "intimate, romantic" mode if I'm talking to a casual acquaintance. But, if someone is actually creating an alter ego rather than genuinely becoming a confident, attractive man, then they're doing it wrong. It's pretty darn unhealthy.
/r/seduction18/08/14 01:18 AM
3

Go out more and approach for a month. See where your sticking points are. Find out how to resolve them. Approach more, and see where your new sticking points are. Rinse and repeat.
/r/seduction18/08/14 01:09 AM
2

Here's the thing. We can't help you. Only you can help yourself. We can show you the road signs, but you have to walk the road. So when you come in here asking for help like this, you won't get it. And it's not because we're not capable of giving you good, quality advice. It's because you're not taking the action to actually do something about your life. The fact of the matter is, a lot of that information already exists. Check out the sidebar for starters. What you're currently doing right now …
/r/seduction18/08/14 01:08 AM
11

Unless you're living in a small town in the middle of bumfuck nowhere, race has a negligible impact. Speaking as a Chinese man who predominantly hangs around white people. OP, please keep in mind that these types of threads tend to attract people with victim mindsets, generally speaking. People like to feel sorry for themselves, and will tend to spread that message to reinforce/rationalize their own negativity and lack of success. Don't fall victim to confirmation bias. It's discouraging for me …
/r/seduction18/08/14 12:49 AM
1

Hey dude. I'm Asian. And even worse, I'm a grower, not a shower. You're good. Trust me.
/r/seduction15/08/14 01:16 PM
1

HAH. I sent out that same text last night. "Let's do <venue> on Wednesday at 8pm"
/r/seduction13/08/14 04:15 AM
1

This is just like any other limiting belief, whether it's height, race, ethnicity, weight, looks, etc. Some girls aren't gonna like your baby face. Some will. Some won't even care. Ultimately, it doesn't really matter. as if she was humoring a kid who was pestering her Here's the thing. You're actually the one putting yourself down, not her. You're building up this fictional scenario in your head that may not even be true. You feel like you're missing out? Well, that's all it is. Just a feeling …
/r/seduction13/08/14 04:11 AM
1

If you don't know how to do it without awkwardness, well, you're gonna have to learn to just do it while being awkward until it comes across naturally. The problem isn't that you don't know how to do it without awkwardness. You DO know how to do it smoothly. It's just that you can't because you don't have the relevant real-life experience. What you're asking for is akin to asking, "how can I get over my stage fright without ever getting in front of an audience?" 99% of the time, it doesn't work …
/r/seduction13/08/14 04:04 AM
1

Alright, you do want to help yourself. I'll give you that. But you don't really, really want to help yourself. It's like this. You want a million dollars, right? Sure, everyone does. But are you truly, honestly willing to put in the time, dedication, and effort required to earn the million dollars? Probably not. It's the same thing with pickup. Sure, it'd be nice to meet attractive women and make something good come out of it. But you don't want it so bad such that you're willing to risk your eg…
/r/seduction13/08/14 03:47 AM
1

Don't be over invested. Seriously. It's damn simple in concept, but hard to implement. If you're simply not over-investing, then you won't across as over-invested.
/r/seduction13/08/14 03:41 AM
1

I think being mysterious for the sake of being mysterious is silly. Why play games? I mean, it's one thing to be perceived as mysterious because you're busy and you can't see her all the time (or something like that). It's another thing to play silly games in order to appear mysterious. I'm an advocate for open vulnerability. Obviously there's a time and place for everything, I'm not going to approach a girl and tell her my childhood in the first 5 minutes. But I'm not necessarily going to hide …
/r/seduction12/08/14 11:47 AM
1

Need some advice on how to achieve this! How to achieve being a parasite? Sorry, this is the wrong place for you. I doubt TRP would advocate your actions, either. Unless we're talking about the bitter, angry portion of TRP. But that's like the bitter, angry portion of the PUA community. We don't really want them either. This just sounds like a shitty exercise you're doing to pump your ego. It's immature.
/r/seduction12/08/14 11:38 AM
2

Check out the sidebar. Here's the thing. I get the impression that you don't really want to help yourself. You just want others to give you a pat on the back and tell you it's okay. That's completely fine, given your circumstances. But this is a self-improvement subreddit. Nobody can truly help you except yourself. "Help ?" Dude, there are so many resources out there. I understand if you feel as though you're stuck in a well and you can't get out, but there are so many ways of helping yourself. …
/r/seduction12/08/14 11:37 AM
-1

Everyone has the capability to become charismatic. We're all cut from the same cloth. Some people may have to work harder then others, but everyone is capable. Charisma isn't an innate trait. It's a skill that's developed over time, whether consciously or unconsciously.
/r/seduction11/08/14 06:00 AM
1

I think you're overthinking it. In my experience, if she likes you already, generally speaking, it really doesn't matter where you take her. She doesn't really care about the venue that much, she just wants to hang out with you.
/r/seduction11/08/14 05:59 AM
1

I have decided I am too inexperienced to attract women Here's the thing. How do you think you'll get the experience without approaching and going on dates? You're going to get rejected and you're going to go through awkward moments. But that's a part of the learning process. Making mistakes is a GOOD thing, because we can learn from them! (not that I'm saying you should make mistakes for the sake of making mistakes, heh) Maybe you need professional help, maybe not. But the thing is, taking a boo…
/r/seduction11/08/14 05:57 AM
1

Exactly. Plus, experiences like these allow you to develop your emotional fortitude, making you more of a fucking boss.
/r/seduction11/08/14 05:55 AM
1

All of us are. The thing is, you don't get over your anxiety before you approach. You approach despite your anxiety. The thing is, we can't really help you other than feel-good words. At the end of the day, you need to make the decision to approach and commit to that decision. Even if you are creepy or boring right now, so what? It's something many of us have gone through, and becoming less creepy and more interesting is a part of the self-development process. But if you never even start, then y…
/r/seduction11/08/14 05:51 AM
20

Look, don't worry about it. These cycles of "oh shit I'm the fucking man" and "oh wait, I might not be good as I think I am" are perfectly natural. As long as you keep working at it, these feelings will subside. Look, you're a human being. If you were 100% confident all the time, then I think you're either a Shaolin Monk or a psychopath. The good thing about these periods of negativity is that they allow you a period of self-reflection. Humility is good for personal growth. They give you perspec…
/r/seduction11/08/14 05:48 AM
1

I don't get why your being downvoted. I fully agree with you. Emotions come in waves. The good part about the times you feel down is that they allow you a period of self-reflection. A dip in self-esteem usually follows with a period of great improvement, assuming the OP keeps working at it. It's almost like weight-lifting. It's not the actual lifting that builds the muscle. The muscles actually get ripped apart. But during your rest days, the muscles rebuild. It's actually the rebuilding period …
/r/seduction11/08/14 05:45 AM
3

It sounds like you're overthinking things and self-sabotaging. You guys were kissing and licking each other, but you're worried she has you in the friend zone? Maybe she was giving you an invitation to go for it, but you were too afraid? , but I don't know how to go about convincing her to have sex with me. If you're trying to logically convince her to have sex with you without connecting with her emotionally, then you're going to have a bad time. Dating isn't a job interview, as I'm sure you kn…
/r/seduction10/08/14 06:49 PM
3

No, that's not true at all. Even if it were, well, this is a self-improvement subreddit. Building a good, positive, supportive social circle is a part of self-improvement and just overall happiness.
/r/seduction10/08/14 06:44 PM
1

You don't need an indirect opener, because that's just you rationalizing not approaching. You just need to open.
/r/seduction10/08/14 01:15 PM
1

Introducing sexuality comes from your vibe. It's not the things that you're doing, but the person that you are. Sexuality should be introduced right from the beginning. Even a simple "hello" can carry a massive amount of sexual energy. Ask yourself this. When I'm talking to a girl, am I just trying to hold a conversation? Am I just trying to look good or not get rejected? Or am I actually trying to date or fuck her?
/r/seduction10/08/14 12:58 PM
17

It literally means put your hand on her leg.
/r/seduction10/08/14 12:52 PM
1

"Now" is the only time we'll ever have. :)
/r/seduction10/08/14 12:50 PM
1

I'd ask myself, "why am I getting bored by talking to most people?" Yeah, I don't like talking to some people. And it's fine. But if it's "most" people, then I'd try to see if the problem comes from within.
/r/seduction10/08/14 12:50 PM
4

Improving your social skills through cold approach pickup is a part of self-improvement.
/r/seduction09/08/14 02:30 PM
1

Heh, you're right. I just get buttfrustrated in limiting belief threads.
/r/seduction09/08/14 01:05 PM
2

I'm a Chinese dude with a small penis, and I regularly tell women that. Yeah, some girls don't like me because I'm Asian. But it doesn't matter, because plenty of other girls do. Will I ever have it as easy as my friends? Maybe, maybe not. But that shit doesn't matter at all. Who cares if I don't? Why would I look for reasons to feel sorry for myself if I'm having a good life? It's silly to look for reasons to rationalize a victim mindset. What a shitty way to live life, IMO. Besides, I've "comp…
/r/seduction09/08/14 01:01 PM
1

The mechanics of in-person interactions and online interactions are vastly different.
/r/seduction09/08/14 12:58 PM
42

Practice, practice, practice. It's not about the actual words. Feel good in my own body, and that way the girl feels good and engaged. Accept that awkwardness happens, and that it's okay. Genuinely want to talk to them. If you're having a conversation while getting in your head worrying about your self-image (e.g. worried about being awkward, saying the wrong things, etc.), then you're not being genuine. You're placing more importance on your self-image over your desire to converse with her and …
/r/seduction09/08/14 12:53 PM
1

How do you flow from topic to topic? Check out "conversational threading" And what's a great way to escalate to physical interaction? Check out the Vin DiCarlo Escalation Ladder.
/r/seduction08/08/14 11:39 AM
3

I just fucking keep daydreaming about all the shit I wanna do in life. Then fucking do it! You are an intelligent human being with power! You can fucking do it, you just have to actually do it and commit yourself to persevere, through the good times and the bad. The information on how to do it is already out there, and I know you can find it with some digging. Ultimately, you just have to do it. That's it. There is no magic pill or mystical advice that we can give you. You just have to start bui…
/r/seduction08/08/14 11:35 AM
1

The thing is sometimes they use my openness against me Communicate with them?
/r/seduction08/08/14 11:33 AM
3

"Get home safe" "Take care"
/r/seduction07/08/14 12:25 PM
1

You make the time. Right now, you're focusing on the problem (i.e. going out of your way to find reasons to NOT do it) rather than the solution. Why not re-arrange your schedule? Take a nap between 4:30 and 10? Etc. You don't have to go out 4 nights a week. But if you choose to do so, it's not like you have to stay until 2am every night. Why not just go for like an hour or so, just to do some approaches, chit chat a bit, maybe get a drink? You might end up meeting a cool girl or two.
/r/seduction07/08/14 12:07 PM
1

I find it really, really difficult to give step-by-step "here's what to do" advice because, in my opinion, that's just not how seduction works. It's akin to trying to learn martial arts through a textbook. Using a model like "approach, hook, build comfort, escalate" can be useful, but it's ultimately just a model used to simplify something more complex. This is why I'm reluctant to give "techniques". Chances are, if they have to ask, they won't able to correctly implement it anyway (and then the…
/r/seduction06/08/14 10:29 PM
8

How do you go about asking or implying that she take her shoes off without coming off as pushy or worse, eccentric? Afraid to come across as pushy? Man fuck that shit. Motherfucker, it's yo goddamn house, you set the rules! Edit: To actually answer your question, a casual "hey, leave your shoes by the door" should suffice.
/r/seduction06/08/14 09:44 PM
11

Honestly, with the right frame this could be possible There's an incredibly amount of shit that you can get away with with the right frame. I got a girl to make out with me by gently grazing her upper lip with my fingers and while sincerely telling her that I liked her mustache.
/r/seduction06/08/14 01:37 PM
3

i fucking hate it when i'm talking to someone and they're giving half-assed answers while they try to suck someone else's dick and they think you're some beta , bitch-tier guy who they'll just answer politely and ignore . Deal with it. Some people aren't going to like you. People view you as beta because that's how you view yourself. You unconsciously train people to act a certain way around you. Yes, you are a beta. All of the anger in your post is a reflection if your beta-ness. People don't v…
/r/seduction06/08/14 01:19 PM
7

HAHAHAHAH. You made me spill my coffee.
/r/seduction06/08/14 12:50 PM
2

It depends on too many factors, so you just have to make a decision in the moment. Meeting a girl for the first time? Maybe with one girl I go for a handshake. Maybe with another I go for a hug. Maybe with another I go for a casual cheek kiss. Maybe with another, I confidently hold my hand out, pull her in, and gently twirl her. It depends. These types of questions really aren't that good, because chances are, you won't actually learn from them. It's good that you're asking them, because I mean …
/r/seduction06/08/14 01:28 AM
2

I'm afraid of...destroying my self-esteem Here's the thing, that's a self-fulfilling prophecy! If you think you're going to destroy your self-esteem, you're going to unconsciously self-sabotage by automatically procuring negative thoughts, rather than trying to see the positives in them! Look, you're going to get rejected a bunch. You're going to have to learn to live with it. Besides, they're not rejecting "you". They don't even know you! They're making a decision in that moment, which is a dec…
/r/seduction05/08/14 12:05 PM
1

Alright, first things first: Ive purchased some better clothes and I was working out for a bit. Good! You're doing something, which is good! I'm lazy and self concsious about my looks. I'm so down on myself all the time, so negative. I know I was being a dick, and it sounds weird for me to say this, but don't beat yourself up! Nobody is perfect. And please don't tell yourself that you're lazy or self-conscious! Eventually, that self-talk turns into action and behavior, meaning it's a self-fulfil…
/r/seduction04/08/14 09:45 PM
3

Then it's something you'll improve through practice. Logically acquiring more advice won't help you. Experience will.
/r/seduction04/08/14 09:04 PM
2

Simply socialize with everyone and anyone IS how you do it. The thing is, you're looking for someone to spoonfeed it to you. There is so much advice out there (e.g. sidebar). The fact that you're not putting in effort to find it says a lot.
/r/seduction04/08/14 09:03 PM
2

I was asking about how to approach more, that is my main problem. There is now "how" to approach more. You just approach more. You already know the "how". You're just not doing it because you are afraid of rejection, even if you're telling yourself that you're not. You can't make more than a few approaches? No, it's not that you "can't" make them. It's more like you're making the choice to not approach. Don't get me wrong, a few approaches is better than most people will ever do. But recognize y…
/r/seduction04/08/14 08:44 PM
1

To be interesting, you must be interested. That means, being passionate about yourself as well as passionate about other people. It's not about the things that you do or say. It's about genuinely being passionate about them. It's about genuinely being passionate about creating a connection with other people and get to know them.
/r/seduction04/08/14 08:42 PM
1

act as if you are very passionate about whatever you are talking I'm going to nitpick, but you shouldn't "act". You should actually be passionate about whatever you're talking about.
/r/seduction04/08/14 08:39 PM
3

I've had internet relationships before and they're ok but I want something real for once. They're as real as you let them be. I want to be able to meet new girls in real life but I don't know how. Yes, you do. We're all telling you exactly how to do it, and there are SO many resources out there to help you. "I don't know how" is not an excuse, unless we're talking about, "I'm not great at socializing because I haven't practiced my social skills".
/r/seduction04/08/14 08:36 PM
2

It's not telling you anything about the quality of this subreddit. "Crappy, unhelpful advice"? Man, just because you don't want to hear it doesn't make it crappy.
/r/seduction04/08/14 08:35 PM
1

Make friends. Do social hobbies. Go to social circle parties (e.g. house party as opposed to a nightclub). And, of course, cold approach people. Cold approach isn't the only option, but it's a damn good one. Put in genuine, honest interest in people. Actually want to be their friends, rather than use them as a tool to find wet holes for your dick. When you give, people give back. If you're trying to use people as tools, you'll lose relationships and friendships. I found that out the hard way. I'…
/r/seduction04/08/14 08:32 PM
8

Disclaimer: I am NOT saying this to belittle you. I'm not saying this to judge you. I honestly apologize if you take offense, because it is truthfully not my intention. I am merely trying to be bluntly honest so you can get a nice wake-up call. If you are offended, please let me know so I can improve my communication skills. I'll take full responsibility for it. Furthermore, I am 100% willing to support your personal development journey should you chose to start it. But, as you'll learn from my …
/r/seduction04/08/14 08:14 PM
1

Nothing is wrong with you. You're a human being, you're allowed to be scared or anxious or nervous! Just don't let it stop you. If you're getting scared or nervous about doing something, then it probably means that you should be doing it. :) The "why" doesn't really matter that much. What really matters, in my opinion, is that you just face your fears and go for it anyway.
/r/seduction04/08/14 12:16 PM
1

People who actually date. Whether they're friends or family or acquaintances or writers or video-bloggers, it doesn't really matter. I'll take their advice into consideration, try to implement it into my own life, and see if it works for me.
/r/seduction01/08/14 01:25 PM
1

Ask her out and find out for yourself.
/r/seduction30/07/14 12:28 PM
1

It doesn't seem like you're building a real connection. You're producing a lot of sexual energy, which is fucking fantastic when done appropriately, but it doesn't seem like you're creating a real connection with them. Think of it like this. When you buy a soda, you probably view the clerk as "just" a store clerk. When you're hanging out with your best friend, you view them as a person with deep thoughts and emotions (presumably). The idea is, they're just viewing you as the "crazy bikini dude f…
/r/seduction30/07/14 12:27 PM
1

Are you really trying to push your sets? Or are you bailing when you start to get to a sticking point? Or are you kind of reveling in a "look at all this coooool crazy shit I can do/say" stupor? It's good that you're approaching. But after a certain point, approaching for the sake of approaching can be silly because you're not actually doing anything with those approaches. Say you're in a set, and it's really going well. Are you pushing to close? Or are you merely content with the validation tha…
/r/seduction30/07/14 12:19 PM
2

With all due respect, I really think you're projecting a lot in your last paragraph. You seem to be making a lot of unfounded assumptions about him.
/r/seduction30/07/14 12:16 PM
4

No offense man, but I couldn't understand your post at all. "some people that I'm with that it is makes them" ...huh?
/r/seduction29/07/14 07:19 PM
2

There is way more information available to a person than there ever has been before. Since it is impossible to get to even a tiny fraction of all of it If you're trying to be the best that you can be in a certain area, this is just an excuse. it is important to figure out ways to approach it. Yes, you're right. But the point is, a person needs to question their own intentions. Are they merely trying to minimize effort because they're lazy and not actually dedicated? Or are they trying to minimiz…
/r/seduction29/07/14 07:17 PM
1

They're not. It's a false dichotomy.
/r/seduction29/07/14 06:55 PM
2

BE fun and interesting. You don't need advice on how to "become" fun and interesting, because you already are fun and interesting. You just need to access those emotions that lay within you. If you're coming from the frame where fun and interesting is something you need to become, then you won't be fun and interesting because you'll always view those things as something that you're not. Note that this goes for confidence, happiness, and many, many other things. But, to answer your question in a …
/r/seduction29/07/14 06:53 PM
1

What should I have done there? Well, here's the thing. There are a million things you could've done, none of them you really "should" do as long as you pick a course of action that's appropriate at that time and place. "Seduction" isn't a cold, robotic exchange of social tricks. Generally speaking, it's about creating a real connection with a woman (whether that connection turns into just a conversation or a relationship), and enjoying the moment. Think of it like this. Say you just started lear…
/r/seduction29/07/14 06:49 PM
1

I need some advice on how I can shift this from a friendship into a physical thing. Oh man, if you're trying to shift from the frame from "we're platonic friends!" to "by the way I got a cock", then you're doing it wrong right from the get-go. The frame should be sexual right from the start. That being said, check out Vin Dicarlo's escalation ladder. Don't get paranoid about what I said above, it's just there for future reference.
/r/seduction29/07/14 06:35 PM
3

Are you getting a negative reaction because you're saying Iran? Or are you getting a negative reaction because you assume you're going to get a negative reaction and they can feel your discomfort which causes them to be uncomfortable? I'm not saying you're wrong, but I want you to find out the real reason as to why it might be a turn-off for people. Look at this way. Some girls are going to react: Negative. They're not into Iranian dudes. Neutral. They don't particularly care Positive. They're i…
/r/seduction28/07/14 03:44 PM
2

Approach a fuckton. NYC is great because there's a large volume of women EVERYWHERE. Go to Union Square or 34th street or Central Park or barhop in Lower East Side or whatever. The amount of foot traffic is amazing. Also, ignore the "all New Yorkers are assholes" stereotype. NYC has its fair share of assholes, but that's just part of the human condition (i.e. there are assholes everywhere). I've met a lot of very nice people through cold approach.
/r/seduction28/07/14 03:36 PM
1

Try it for a couple of weeks and see if it works for you.
/r/seduction28/07/14 03:33 PM
2

he believes that if one is passionate about something, he should focus all his energy on his career(learning/studying, etc). And be devoid of all hobbies, personal relationships, and other enriching experiences? No, unless he really, really loves his job, he's deluding himself. It sounds more like a reason he's giving to stay within his comfort zone. I highly doubt he's spending every waking moment of his life trying out the new hip Javascript framework or fucking around with a spare AWS instanc…
/r/seduction28/07/14 12:08 PM
1

I think if I make a plan and write it down like "today I will approach one girl" or something like that I would be able to. You don't need a plan, you just need to approach! Telling yourself "I will make a plan" is just an excuse to avoid approaching, so just approach! You already do have a plan, or you could easily make up a plan this very second.
/r/seduction28/07/14 11:57 AM
1

I am so confused. What exactly are you looking for?
/r/seduction28/07/14 11:55 AM
3

I read a lot about how people should meditate more often. I think most people think this means emptying your mind. I disagree. I think you should fill your mind. Fill it with questions and figure out the answers. Being a nitpicky dick, but in my experience, meditation allowed me to empty my mind so that I could fill it with the right thoughts, rather than have a mental cloud of useless anxiety.
/r/seduction28/07/14 11:53 AM
1

Don't identify with your thoughts too much. It's not "you" saying these words. It's merely an automatic reaction brought about by your past experiences (and how you interpreted them), your current emotions, your current environment, and so-on. The idea is, you are not the thoughts in your head. When you recognize that truth, it gives you the freedom to change those thoughts. IMO, the way to change these thoughts comes from three ways: Life experience. For example, approaching a lot so you feel m…
/r/seduction28/07/14 11:48 AM
1

I just can't seem to be able to close It's not that you "can't" close, but rather, you're making the decision to avoid closing (whether consciously or unconsciously). Make the decision to close, and stick with it. Even if you're feeling afraid or scared or nervous/
/r/seduction27/07/14 12:54 PM
3

Don't look at it something that you need to bounce back from. You're currently feeling bad, and that's fine. It allows you to gain valuable life experience, it gives you an opportunity to self-reflect, and it strengthens your emotional fortitude just a little bit. Sometimes we have bad things. It's just a part of life. Don't identify with the emotion. It's a passing event.
/r/seduction27/07/14 12:48 PM
1

if I should even practice any sort of game concurrently while working on myself Practicing the game IS working on yourself! You can totally do both simultaneously. If you work on your life but not game, you'll have more shit together but you won't have the practice of simply being with a girl (and what that entails).
/r/seduction27/07/14 12:46 PM
2

Don't filter their words through your own personal judgements. Be present to the moment. Don't be in your head. Yes, on some level you're going to interpret them. But the extent of interpretation depends up to you. Listen to the words they're saying, as well as the sub-communications such as intentions, emotions, and the overall place they're coming from. Besides actively practicing listening, I personally recommend meditation, eating healthy foods, staying hydrated, sleeping well, and exercisin…
/r/seduction25/07/14 09:07 PM
1

How is my writing? Lately I've been trying to improve my writing. Personally, I find it very hard to relate to because the overall tone is pretty darn negative. I'm not saying this to judge or belittle you, it's merely my experience of it.
/r/seduction25/07/14 08:56 PM
1

It's not something that you need to "deal" with. Some girls will like the look, others won't. That's fine. How to have the best time? Well, do what you want to do to have fun.
/r/seduction25/07/14 08:52 PM
8

I'm sorry you feel this way. You have a right to dislike my post. However, remember that advice isn't always something you necessarily want to hear.
/r/seduction25/07/14 08:35 PM
2

I'm actually probably a shit wingman since I don't wing a lot. Got any tips?
/r/seduction25/07/14 08:35 PM
6

Now though, if I don't do something, I will implode. Also, I feel like I am running out time. Then do something! I need to move fast but I'm not sure how to advance. Yes, you do! Help me out! No, that's your job!
/r/seduction25/07/14 04:26 PM
1

Go fuck ten other women. Whether you take that literally or figuratively is up to you. I don't want to bring it up at risk of losing a valued friendship. At the same time I don't even want to date her because it would be very awkward, I think. Then make a choice. Do you want to go for it, or don't? Make a choice and commit to it. Don't want to risk the friendship? Then don't risk it. Want to risk the friendship and make a move? Then make a move. That's it. No wiggle-room. Chances are, if you jus…
/r/seduction25/07/14 03:59 PM
1

Now, I don't chase women and even though I know it's a joke it straight up pisses me off. I feel like me running after her is emasculating or something. You're getting pissed over nothing. Running after her isn't emasculating. You're actually emasculating yourself because you're the one generating those feelings. She's not causing those emotions in you. You are. Confident men aren't afraid to make themselves vulnerable. It doesn't meant to be a doormat, but protecting your ego means insecurity. …
/r/seduction25/07/14 03:54 PM
1

When do you draw the line and juts go it? Right now. The feeling that you're not there yet? It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. Every time you push it off to the future, you're pretty much rationalizing the fact that you're never going to do it. It's just a way to ease your ego so you don't have to admit that you're never going to actually do it. Unless, you're one of the few people who's actually going to do it, but chances are, you're not. At least in this context.
/r/seduction24/07/14 08:20 PM
1

Without knowing you or your medical history... Should I be working on my mental game without my medication? I'd say yes. For a couple weeks or so, switch up your diet (no processed bullshit or sugary drinks, healthier carbs and fats and meats, more green leafy vegetables). Drink more water, exercise, and meditate. And sleep. Unless you're already doing those things, then nevermind. Otherwise, give it an honest shot. It's easier to feel focused and happy when you're giving your body the right fue…
/r/seduction24/07/14 08:19 PM
1

Twilight game? Lol idk man, literally anywhere with women. Literally. Use this as an opportunity to get creative.
/r/seduction24/07/14 08:16 PM
0

That's a good point, but even if it were a "simple" question, it's kind of unanswerable. It's like asking "how do you cook" or "how do I basketball" or "how do blow glass"? The only way to really answer this question, IMO, is to figure out what specifically needs to be worked on, and then ask a question about that. Asking "what else do we need to know" is dependent on so many variables that it's somewhat unanswerable.
/r/seduction24/07/14 04:42 PM
4

Stop, you're in the wrong mindset. Here's what you should do. Go out, approach, get life experience. Have some successes, make some mistakes, and see what needs improvement. Then come back and make a new thread. Right now I get the impression that you're trying to learn as much as possible before you ever start going out, but that's not how it works. Even if that is how it worked, we wouldn't be able to tell you. This is kind of like asking "hey /r/martialarts can you teach me everything there i…
/r/seduction24/07/14 02:08 PM
1

BE fun and engaging and that energy will rub off onto her. Try thinking of it as something you "are", rather than something you "do".
/r/seduction24/07/14 12:01 PM
1

Maybe you're feeling less "in the zone" because a lot of the more attractive women give less overt IOIs, so maybe you don't feel as though you're doing as well. You're putting them on a pedestal. There's a lot of competition for them. And the competition tends to get fiercer the hotter she is.
/r/seduction24/07/14 11:40 AM
2

I use a great technique called "listening". It's great because rather than just hear sounds out of a walking orifice, I hear words from a human being! Sorry I'm being a dick, but you get the point. I can't imagine there being a "calibration technique". You just take in what's currently going on and make decisions based on that.
/r/seduction24/07/14 11:35 AM
1

So I was wondering what would be three most important resources on this topic (preferably videos)? The funny thing is what you're looking for is the opposite of what you actually need. They're confusing because there are lots of contradictions? No, that's just a failure of the English language trying to describe the same thing from different angles. It's contradictory to you because you (presumably) lack the real-life experience to provide the contextual information that allows you to understand…
/r/seduction24/07/14 11:30 AM
1

Self-amuse. :)
/r/seduction24/07/14 11:26 AM
2

Stop feeling as though you are someone with no value. Literally. That's it. If you're coming from this frame, then almost everything you do will be affected by this mentality. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. The only way to correct this is to have a fundamental mental paradigm shift. Literally BE (think of the word "to be" in its most literal sense) someone who feels good about themselves. Love yourself. Don't think "how do I love myself", just do it. Don't look at this as something you need to…
/r/seduction22/07/14 01:13 PM
3

Fuck yeah! I think I mentioned it before (maybe with an alternate account), but in many ways, you have a leg up over 25 year-old guys because your life experience makes your game "denser". Fortified, in a sense.
/r/seduction22/07/14 01:08 PM
1

One aspect is to simply stop viewing yourself as someone with low self-esteem. It's essentially a self-fulfilling prophecy. Literally BE (think of the verb "to be" in its most literal sense) someone with healthy self-esteem. The Master doesn't try to be powerful; thus he is truly powerful. The ordinary man keeps reaching for power; thus he never has enough.
/r/seduction22/07/14 01:00 PM
1

There's nothing wrong with liking a girl. The issue is that if you like her because you're needy. Well. I don't know how accurate that is. After a certain point when you start wanting to meet girls that you want to meet, oneitis can actually become an even bigger problem because you just KNOW that the girls you actually have a connection don't come often. The only thing you can really do IMO is to just keep going out and improving your overall life.
/r/seduction22/07/14 12:58 PM
2

Just be a little less forward. You don't need for us to tell you how, because you're an intelligent human being with agency. You already know how, you just need a little more practice and experience bringing it out You don't really need specific advice that's tailored for your situation. The general principles remain for everyone. Approach, reflect, improve. Read a book. Approach, reflect, improve. Watch a video. In other words, practice intelligently and gain life experience.
/r/seduction22/07/14 12:52 PM
2

It sounds as though you're viewing social dynamics through rigid, inflexible rules. That can be the case sometimes, but people who really understand what's going on know when to "break the rules". Well, they're not really "rules". They're just general guidelines to follow until you know enough to make decisions on a case-by-case basis. But to answer your question, think of it like this. What if your fantasy celebrity crush called you right now and told you, "I had a dream about you, and that we …
/r/seduction22/07/14 12:43 PM
1

My initial reaction of this is, "this sound sociopathic". I don't know if your sense of humor is just beyond me, but it's quite... horrifying that you're so willing to put all of the blame onto other people without assuming any responsibility. Other people aren't at fault. You're not at fault either ("fault" carries a highly negative connotation). But you do have a responsibility to communicate in an empathetic manner. If other people aren't grasping what you're trying to communicate, then you'r…
/r/seduction22/07/14 12:17 PM
1

With the exception of knowing when you're being a creep and when to back down, you don't really need to know her intentions. You just escalate/ask her out/whatever and find out.
/r/seduction21/07/14 08:07 PM
2

Remember not to beat yourself up! (if you're the type of person who does that)
/r/seduction21/07/14 01:04 PM
3

I'm straight in the day but gay in my dreams, so yeah probably.
/r/seduction21/07/14 11:56 AM
2

Subtlely isn't something you need to learn, per se. You already know how to be subtle, even if only unconsciously. You just need to learn to bring it out through practice, experience, and effort. And if you don't want to look like a creep, well, don't be creepy. Simple concept, but it can be pretty damn hard to do (trust me, I know from my own experiences). One of the biggest indicators of creepiness is neediness or validation-seeking. When you communicate, "I just want to know the deeper you" t…
/r/seduction21/07/14 11:55 AM
1

Yeah, that might help you. My first few approaches, I just straight up said something along the lines of "Wow I'm really nervous anyway you're really cute and I wanted to say hi sorry to bother you" and then just ran off. Fuck it, lol.
/r/seduction21/07/14 10:45 AM
1

Heheh, I don't think you do. Be afraid and timid as fuck and approach anyway. You don't need balls to approach, you just need to approach. As you get more comfortable doing cold approach, you're other skills will naturally come out.
/r/seduction21/07/14 10:44 AM
2

Limiting belief. It's a mental model that you've created that isn't actually true.
/r/seduction21/07/14 10:34 AM
1

Self esteem is not the problem I'm not saying this to shit on you, but to be honest with you. It sounds like you're in slight denial. "My self-esteem is not a problem, but I feel like I'll never be able to get a girl". That's straight up a lack of self-esteem, even if only a little bit. The problem is that you're looking for reasons to avoid taking action. Meet women, self-reflect, and see what you can improve upon. Then meet more women and repeat. That's the only way to get better. You're basic…
/r/seduction21/07/14 10:33 AM
1

You have a right to feel whatever you feeling, but she has the right to text other guys. You can forgive her if you want, but it's not like she really owed you an apology in the first place. Still, forgiveness is for ourselves, NOT for other people. If it helps you, then it's a completely legitimate action.
/r/seduction21/07/14 10:28 AM
1

I disagree with this format of FR because I find it to be incredibly limiting. I could write a lot on this, but one particular reason is that I disagree with the idea that a technique causes the success. This format will reinforce in noobies the idea that a specific technique or routine causes success. I know this was just an example format and I can see your underlying point, but we'll miss out on so much if we enforce a strict standard that forces us to think within a certain paradigm that may…
/r/seduction21/07/14 10:23 AM
2

I don't know how long it'll take to get easier, but it will get easier if you make the commitment to improve. Simply exposing yourself will help, but it won't help as much as approaching with self-reflection, figuring out your sticking points, improving them, approaching again, etc. I'm not a runner, but I imagine that if a runner wants to improve, they won't just keep running. It's definitely the core thing to practice, but maybe he might experiment with different shoes. Run on sand instead of …
/r/seduction21/07/14 10:13 AM
2

I think you're a bit right and a bit wrong. While I agree with your underlying point, it can also be quite unrealistic. Of course, it all depends on the context.
/r/seduction21/07/14 10:10 AM
4

Just stop checking your phone. You have agency. Every time you check your phone, you're making the choice to do so, whether or not you're conscious of that. Also, enjoy just chilling at home! If you don't have plans and you're just chilling at home, you might as well enjoy it. Life is short, spend every second loving it.
/r/seduction21/07/14 10:07 AM
1

After you approach and get "rejected", do you reflect and think about what you can do to improve, and then try to improve on whatever needs improvement? Or do you just semi-blindly go to your next approach?
/r/seduction21/07/14 10:03 AM
4

I personally go more along the lines of "eat less sugar/processed foods, eat more green leafy vegetables, and drink more water". that sorta thing It's much easier for your body and brain to feel better when you're fueling it better.
/r/seduction21/07/14 10:00 AM
1

Any advice on talking to female strangers at parties? Sorry man, but this is like asking "how do I martial arts?" Really, the only answers we can give are: General, vague-ish principles that can be found all over /r/seduction. "Go out a lot, get some experience, and tell us your specific sticking points." Ultimately, you need more intelligent practice (i.e. not just blindly doing shit, but practicing with some self-reflection). PUA isn't really something that's learned through advice. That's onl…
/r/seduction20/07/14 09:25 AM
1

Am I insane for doing so? It doesn't sound like you're doing it for egoic gratification, so I think you're good.
/r/seduction20/07/14 09:22 AM
1

100% irrelevant. Seriously. Seriously seriously seriously. Unless we're talking about, say, being able to see sadness or neediness on one's face. But if we're talking about looks, then it's 100% irrelevant.
/r/seduction20/07/14 09:18 AM
1

Just because you know you're a super-cool person doesn't mean the girl does. You still need to communicate that through things like kino, good storytelling, teasing, etc.
/r/seduction20/07/14 09:17 AM
1

Do well at clubs/bar/event/social settings then get out into the real world solo and just die? Clubs and bars and events and social settings ARE the real world! I really think the issue is that: Maybe a lack of experience (i.e. do u ev3n d4ygame bruh?) You're creating a false dichotomy
/r/seduction20/07/14 09:11 AM
2

I think you're looking for reasons to not approach. ;) Whether or not it's technically fear of rejection ultimately doesn't matter. I'm not saying your feelings are illegitimate, but if you really think "I wish I was..." or "I should I have said...", then why not just be or do those things? The more you tell yourself "I wish I was...", the more you will NOT become the thing that you wish you were. That's because rather than spend time becoming (or more accurately, being) that thing, you're just …
/r/seduction20/07/14 09:04 AM
1

I can't imagine NOT using the friendly and cool "technique"...
/r/seduction18/07/14 05:25 AM
1

Don't be afraid to take things slow. "I thought you looked really beautiful/ I really like _____ / Your ______ is incredible (whatever you fancy about her) so I had to come talk to you." I personally like to keep my openers simple and avoid exaggerations. If you don't jive with it either, you can simmer things down and just say "I thought you looked cute". "Really beautiful" as an opener is too strong for my tastes, but that's just me. I'm sure other people can pull it off. Being direct is fine.…
/r/seduction16/07/14 10:46 AM
1

There's a lot of different ways to approach this, but really, it's just looking at the same thing from different angles. I kind of like these: https://imgur.com/P2gRujY https://imgur.com/Ztb7Y46 Keep in mind: meditation is something you actively do. It's not a black-box process that you expose yourself to that magically transforms you. Even though the point of meditation is to be in the moment (not to try to be in the moment because if you're trying to be in the moment, then you're not in the mo…
/r/seduction15/07/14 01:51 PM
6

People are going to ignore you. Not just in seduction, but in real-life as well. With the exception of maybe your parents, nobody owes you their attention or affection.
/r/seduction15/07/14 12:46 PM
0

Anywhere with women.
/r/seduction14/07/14 03:12 AM
1

If you're not meditating, MEDITATE. It's a real game-changer. (har har har)
/r/seduction14/07/14 03:10 AM
3

Why do you let trivial external factors make you feel bad? To me, that just means you need to improve your frame control (i.e. emotional fortitude).
/r/seduction14/07/14 02:51 AM
4

Every single element of seduction is designed for her approval. Well, that's one way to look at it...
/r/seduction14/07/14 02:48 AM
2

You're hurting your chances by NOT going for them since you're eliminating ANY chance of something good happening. And without actually going for it, you won't get the practice and experience necessarily to develop your personality and confidence.
/r/seduction11/07/14 08:45 PM
2

My take is that a lot of my inner game issues will get better on their own if I make it a regular practice of doing approaches and practicing basic escalation techniques with women I meet, and pushing through AA and escalation anxiety issues. Basically. Does that sound right? Basically. The good thing about your age is that you have life experience under your belt. While it may not directly mean you'll be able to kill it in a nightclub, it means you have common sense and will be able to learn qu…
/r/seduction11/07/14 03:42 PM
2

On some level, yes. On another level, I want to fuck the girl, but I don't want to fuck my guy friends. You need a little bit of both. How much depends on the situation, and it's up to you to make that judgement call. You can't treat her too much like a friend, because you'll get friend-zoned. You can't treat her like a sex dispenser because that's creepy and fucked up.
/r/seduction11/07/14 03:24 PM
2

Another variation of the ternary system that I've heard: 0 - Wouldn't fuck 1 - I wouldn't tell my friends 2 - I'd totally brag about it
/r/seduction11/07/14 03:18 PM
3

have had no issue making friends You know why this is a good thing? It means at least you have some baseline of social skills. Most guys are afraid to talk to girls. You're normal, so relax and don't put so much pressure on yourself. By that, I mean stop mentally reinforcing your life story of how you're a virgin who never kissed a girl. You don't need help. You need to take action. Advice or motivational words might help you approach, but ultimately, you just need to approach. It's not that you…
/r/seduction11/07/14 03:10 PM
0

Approach someone.
/r/seduction11/07/14 03:04 PM
1

Yup, there ain't nothing wrong with that. But you should probably expand your interests a little, just to see what's available. Very likely, you'll find other stuff that you enjoy, inside and outside of BDSM.
/r/seduction10/07/14 02:23 PM
1

Femdom is the shit though. :) But more seriously, if you feel as though there are problematic parts of your personality or etc., do something about it.
/r/seduction10/07/14 01:52 PM
2

A little bit of both. The way I resolve the self-improvement vs. self-acceptance paradox is this: "I know I could be better, but as long as I'm working on it, I won't feel sorry for myself."
/r/seduction10/07/14 01:49 PM
1

Just do it. Really. No magic techniques, mystical advice, or silver bullets. Just do it. Don't spend time wondering "how do I do it?" because not only do you know how to do it, by posing that question, it means you're not doing it.
/r/seduction10/07/14 01:41 PM
3

Word. I forgot where this is from, but I always found this quote funny: I have to admit, picking up girls can be a little creepy sometimes. But you know what's even creepier? Being the needy little dude who can't pickup girls!
/r/seduction09/07/14 08:30 PM
4

Well, honestly, I think you need to develop thicker skin/emotional fortitude. I mean, it's been a while since I've been in your shoes, but IMO, if feeling bad over a rejection is a problem for you, then you should find bigger problems to worry about. You shouldn't take it personally when a girl rejects you. Like, if you're talking to a girl for a minute and she rejects your approach, it's not as though she knows who you are. She knows only about a minute of your personality. She's rejecting your…
/r/seduction09/07/14 04:50 PM
1

What do you mean?
/r/seduction09/07/14 04:35 PM
1

There's no "how". You just have to do it.
/r/seduction09/07/14 03:51 PM
2

Err... This thread is kind of like if I went to /r/mma and posted, "I got a fight-to-the-death next week, but I never been in a fight before. Got any tips?" I hope you can see the problem with this. That being said, be relaxed, be high-energy, have fun, and approach girls. I know "be relaxed" and "be high-energy" sound paradoxical, but ideally, you want your high-energy to come from a place of calmness. That way it's a fun, exciting energy rather than an off-putting, awkward energy.
/r/seduction09/07/14 03:13 PM
40

Heh, good that you're progressing. But remember, Seddit didn't really do shit. You did. Seddit can show you the path, but you're the one walking it.
/r/seduction09/07/14 03:08 PM
11

IMO, "leave them better than you found them" is one of the best principles to follow, but it also can sometimes just be feel-good nonsense. But here's an analogy. Say I go on vacation for a week. I experienced cool things, I had a lot of fun, and I relaxed a lot. But after the week, I have to go back to work, pay my bills, etc. The vacation didn't last, and I'm pretty bummed about that. But ultimately, I think I'm better off having gone on that vacation. Maybe it's just a matter of opinion, but …
/r/seduction09/07/14 03:05 PM
3

You can't do this without taking a risk. You can assuage the risk by being totally chill about it if she says "sorry I don't see you that way" (remember that awkwardness is a self-fulfilling prophecy). Hell, in my experience, the friendship is fine because nobody gets weird about it. But there will always be some risk. It's up to you to decide whether or not it's worth the risk.
/r/seduction09/07/14 02:58 PM
1

DISCLAIMER: Massive generalizations are going to follow. They are obviously not 100% correct. Please don't read too deeply into my words, but my underlying point. Sorry if it offends you, it's not my intention. As a BDSM sub, IMO, calling oneself "submissive" is just a way to rationalize an inability to take responsibility for one's life. Not only are you boxing yourself into an identity that may or may not be true (i.e. self-fulfilling prophecy), it's something you can tell yourself so you don'…
/r/seduction09/07/14 02:46 PM
1

It's not that you can't approach. You're just making the decision to not approaching. Relax. Approaching is hard as hell. Don't worry about it. It took me three years before I was able to do my first, serious cold approach. But you still gotta do it. Personally, I don't think tips or advice will help you (unless a really good motivational speaker busts in and says "fuck you IpickupGrandmothers, I got this", or something) because it doesn't necessarily mean you'll actually take action and approac…
/r/seduction09/07/14 02:26 PM
2

You don't switch from friendly to sexual. It should be sexual right from the get-go. It doesn't mean whip out your dick during the approach, but your approach should mean, "Hey, I want to date/fuck you", not, "Hey, I'm approaching you because the Internet told me to". The only transition should be a continuum from friendly, casual sexual tension to full-blown fucking. You shouldn't need a technique to show your intent because you should be showing your intent right away from the approach.
/r/seduction07/07/14 11:52 PM
2

GO OUTSIDE. The problem isn't that you don't know what to do. YOU DO KNOW WHAT TO DO. You're just not doing it because you're too afraid to push the boundaries of your comfort zone. Instead of lying around in your own self-pity, take responsibility for your own life and do something about it.
/r/seduction07/07/14 10:23 PM
1

When is the last time you interacted with a female Homo sapien? For me, it last week. Hm... So how can get to the next level? I'm ready. Throw me in, coach. Approach! Take action! There's SO much material out there to help you, but don't know what to do? You have to throw yourself in. It's called SELF-improvement for a reason. I'm ugly, fat, stupid, lazy, poor, uncreative, and largely uneducated. Like dude, you just listed a whole bunch of things that you can work on. But to answer your question…
/r/seduction07/07/14 10:08 PM
1

It comes with practice and experience. Maybe you're worrying too much about appearing cool or entertaining, preventing you from just acting in the moment. Also, make sure you're actually listening to the other person (many guys forget this basic one). If it's early in the night, maybe you just need to warm up more to get yourself into a socializing mood. Like if I'm hitting the bar right after a really long day at work, I won't be charismatic right away. I need to get into the zone by warming up…
/r/seduction06/07/14 03:27 PM
2

Just do SOMETHING. The problem isn't that you don't know how to proceed. You DO know how to proceed, you're just scared to do it. I'm not judging you for being scared, we all get AA, but still! Personally, the only reason I ever got over AA was I fucked up so many opportunities by being scared, that I eventually got so mad at myself and just started going for it. Maybe this experience will start giving you the emotional leverage where you begin to prefer the rush of success over the fear of fail…
/r/seduction06/07/14 03:21 PM
3

You're focusing too much on your virginity, which really doesn't matter all that much. One time, when I was a virgin, I was talking to a girl and the conversation steered towards fetishes. I mentioned how I never understood the ballbusting fetish or how people are into it (if you are, no judgements, I just don't get it) and I ranted about that for a minute. Later on in the night, she comes up to me and jokingly whispers in my ear, "so you like ballbusting huh?" as she rubs her thigh against my c…
/r/seduction06/07/14 03:19 PM
3

IMO, a porsche with no game is like a shit-tasting cake with a nice frosting. Having a nice car != social status. Like having a porsche won't necessarily help me approach in the club, you know what I'm saying? And if you're deriving your confidence from external factors, that can be a red flag. IMO, a nice car will only enhance what's already there.
/r/seduction06/07/14 03:09 PM
2

This is kind of like asking, "how can I learn MMA from YouTube videos?" I hope you can see the problem with this. I can't go out for some reasons Why not?
/r/seduction04/07/14 07:56 PM
2

Yes, approach them and relax. Questions like these: Do you have any advice for picking up teenage girls at the beach? Like how to approach, what to say, best ways to initiate kino, etc. are pretty terrible. It's like asking, "hey guys I got a fight-to-the-death next week. I never been in a fight before, though. Anyone got any tips?" Like, no amount of advice will help you accomplish your goal. 90% of the time, you improve on a skill through practice, not advice. Get what I'm saying? I'm not sayi…
/r/seduction04/07/14 03:09 PM
1

Try it out for a month or so, and see if it works for you.
/r/seduction04/07/14 03:04 PM
2

Having seen you post for a few months now, I can't help but think that maybe you're still too outcome dependent. It's like, you seem to be doing everything right on a technical level, but you don't deeply believe in yourself, so you're still trying too hard on an emotional level. Like when you're in set, are you thinking, "alright I'm in set time to do <x> and <y> tactics" or are you just enjoying the moment? Maybe for now, the problem isn't your amount of skill per se. It's just that you don't …
/r/seduction04/07/14 03:00 PM
1

When you say "turn the conversation sexual", do you mean talking about sexual topics or bringing forth a sexual vibe? If you're mean the latter, then that should be set from the very beginning.
/r/seduction04/07/14 02:56 PM
9

No, it doesn't depress me. Developing a victim mindset is incredibly silly. Plus, you're subconsciously focusing only on the evidence that supports your "women have it easy" schema, while ignoring evidence that goes against it. It's essentially confirmation bias. Women aren't sex charities, and no man is entitled to sex. There's a lot of lonely guys, and that really sucks for them (I was a late-blooming virgin in my early-twenties who had no friends, I totally understand what it's like). But the…
/r/seduction04/07/14 02:42 PM
13

APPROACH
/r/seduction02/07/14 09:43 PM
1

Is it about practice, and repeating the same mistake until you stop doing that shit? To an extent, yes. This thread caught my attention because you mentioned how you spent a lot of time reading, but it didn't mention if you actually practiced. Like, you might learn a lot about baseball by studying games and commentaries. But, it doesn't mean you're actually able to play baseball.
/r/seduction02/07/14 11:54 AM
2

Meditate. Seriously.
/r/seduction01/07/14 12:29 PM
1

This is what's called "getting to know her" (and vice-versa, she gets to know you). This includes, but isn't limited to, the "what do you do" and "where are you from" questions. Vibing is more about humanizing each other and creating a deeper emotional connection. Vibing basically communicates, "hey I'm an actual person, not just some random club guy". The thing is, IMO, don't look at vibing as another pickup technique to add to your arsenal. That defeats the whole purpose of vibing. me: Hey you…
/r/seduction01/07/14 12:13 PM
2

"Yeah I'd never have sex with a guy until I've dated him at least three months too", except I'd make it more concise. Just woke up, too lazy to do it myself.
/r/seduction01/07/14 12:03 PM
1

Approach her, and when she says, "I'm a minor", say, "OH SHOOT, I'm sorry to bother you" and approach someone else.
/r/seduction30/06/14 10:54 PM
1

Any suggestions to overcome this situation? Sit side-by-side. Pull her closer. Don't go to dinner dates in the first place. And so-on.
/r/seduction30/06/14 10:51 PM
1

You're looking to fuck but it seems like you're not actually doing much to try to fuck them. I keep those conversations very nice. I think I am not a bad ass at all during those dates. When I am on a date with a girl, I don't think about sex at all. I enjoy the conversation and those conversations are mostly about things we love to do for fun and our past lives. I do little banter and be non-sexual at all. If you're looking to fuck, then why are you dong this? Obviously, a lot of girls won't fuc…
/r/seduction30/06/14 10:51 PM
-3

Remember that night game is essentially the same thing as day game, except the Sun is up. Calibrate to the fact that you're doing day game, but the general principles are still the same. Be confident, relaxed, and fun.
/r/seduction30/06/14 10:46 PM
3

How do you exit? Maybe if the set is going stale and I want to leave on a good note, I might just say "alright time for another drink" or "gotta go talk to some friends" or whatever. How to re-enter a set? Just do something to initiate an interaction, just like opening a set for the first time. Say hi. Or yell "OMG IT'S YOU AGAIN". Or just hold your hand out waiting for a high-five. The list goes on. You're overthinking very minute details.
/r/seduction30/06/14 10:45 PM
1

To some degree, it is a numbers game. But, "just" a numbers game is very inaccurate.
/r/seduction30/06/14 10:42 PM
3

Yes, but it doesn't mean you guys have to talk about your favorite position or something. As long as you're throwing out the vibe, "hey I actually want to date/fuck you", you're fine. In other words, don't play the whole, "I'll pretend to be your friend and try to metaphorically stick it in when you're not looking" angle. In other words the date should feel like a date. You guys don't need to openly talk about sex, but the date shouldn't feel like two friends casually getting lunch.
/r/seduction30/06/14 10:41 PM
1

Basically, kiss her with sexual/romantic/non-"we're just friends" intent. Like, I don't kiss my mother the same way I kiss a girl I'm dating.
/r/seduction30/06/14 05:04 AM
2

Age doesn't really matter. I mean, it's gonna get harder to fuck for long periods of time as you get older. But, if you take care of basic hygeine and you're relaxed when you socialize, then you're pretty much already ahead of most guys. And if you're not relaxed when you're talking to a girl (maybe you find yourself acting too shy or overly-aggressive), then it just means you need more experience. That's it. You don't have some inherent inability to attract women just because you're relatively …
/r/seduction30/06/14 05:02 AM
3

Well, if you're a noobie, then chances are, it's either in your head or people actually don't want you around because you're not offering any social value. But that's fine. Part of learning is embracing your mistakes/faults and improving on them. Like if someone told me, "lol fattie y so obese how about u learn2run nub get rekt", I'm not going to give a shit. I'm just gonna keep doing my thing. Also, you should do your best to meditate, eat correctly, stay hydrated, and exercise. In other words,…
/r/seduction30/06/14 04:54 AM
3

Possibly, you feel validated because you got your dates or k-closes or whatever, and you don't feel like you have to put in as much effort now. If this is the case, relax yo'self. It's silly, egotistical, immature nonsense. Not saying this is necessarily the reason, but it's happened to me a lot. Once I felt like she was into me, I stopped caring because I felt validated. This was a shitty thing to do because it meant that I was playing the dating game to stroke my ego, not to actually meet wort…
/r/seduction30/06/14 04:51 AM
1

I mean, there's a time and place for anything. You need to use you own judgement. Like, you probably won't find me in a white tuxedo if I'm heading to a house party in the middle of the hood. That being said: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHSaEPVSVEE It's not about the outfit itself. It's your intentions with the outfit. Trying to draw state from your clothing or you're trying too hard to DHV via your outfit? Too tryhard. Just expressing yourself? That's fine.
/r/seduction30/06/14 04:46 AM
3

What can I do ): Gradually get better over a long period time by practicing. Drugs aren't that good because you get dependent on them. Lots of people are great socialites when they drink, but take their alcohol away, and they bomb completely. Social anxiety is a thing because it prevents us from saying stupid shit to strangers and getting hit in the face with a brick. It can actually be a good friend to you. :)
/r/seduction30/06/14 04:43 AM
1

"Help me not screw this up"? Oh boy, you're already fucking up by caring too much about 1 particular girl. Yes, just talk to her. Also, these types of questions belong in /r/askseddit.
/r/seduction29/06/14 09:15 PM
1

Isn't that why we go out?
/r/seduction27/06/14 11:47 PM
2

Err, it sounds like you're dismissing yourself before you even talk to the girl. That's basically saying you feel lower status, whether or not you choose to word it that way. Please be more honest with yourself. If you don't want her to feel pressured or forced, then don't pressure or force her. Develop extreme outcome independence. This comes from practice and taking action over a long period of time.
/r/seduction27/06/14 08:45 PM
1

In day game dealings, what are some good ways to make the girl comfortable with you so you can move on from there? Uhhh... hard to say for me. I'm not the best at describing what I do because I don't really think about it that much and I don't go out often enough. It kinda depends on the situation. The mindset I try to have is to just feel really happy and calm in myself, and let that vibe rub off onto other people (this is also known as "state transference", meaning that whatever I feel, the gi…
/r/seduction27/06/14 06:54 PM
1

Asian dude here. I like white girls and I think I do pretty well. But I also live in a very large, multicultural, international city. Generally speaking, unless you're trying to pickup the daughters of Klansmen or some shit, race is really just another limiting belief.
/r/seduction27/06/14 06:48 PM
3

Just a heads up, I'm going to be very blunt in this post. Not because I want to be a dick, but because I want to be brutally honest, from one man to another. I don't think I have a confidence issue as I can certainly imagine my self going up to her and introducing myself. Talk is cheap. It's easy to imagine things. And sure, imagining success is a very important step, but it's not the end of the tunnel. Don't mentally masturbate yourself. You think you don't have a confidence issue? If that were…
/r/seduction27/06/14 04:06 PM
6

If she immediately says that we're just friends, I'd just go with it. But if I have the chance to say something first, I might say a joke like, "nah she's my sister that'd be weird". This one especially works for me because I'm an Asian guy that typically goes for white girls. It really depends on the situation. Any answers on Seddit are really meant to just give you ideas that may work. A good answer in one social context may not work well in another. Edit: If you really want to fuck with peopl…
/r/seduction27/06/14 03:59 PM
5

I assume that the vast majority of his free in-field footage is meant to be flashy to attract attention from casual YouTube viewers that aren't a part of the PUA community. More of a marketing thing, it seems. If you really wanted to see more daygame or rejections or etc., you'd probably have to attend a HotSeat. The principles behind night game and day game are the same. Hell, you really can do pretty much the same exact shit in day game if the setting is right (e.g. the girl is comfortable wit…
/r/seduction27/06/14 03:53 PM
3

Social and sexual freedom. I don't want my relationships to arise because I'm taking what I can get. If I ever settle down, I want my partner to be the girl that I chose after sifting through dozens, if not hundreds, of girls.
/r/seduction27/06/14 03:36 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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