I'm in my last semester of college, 9 weeks in and still have not laid a new girl. Every weekend that goes by where I fail is crushing me more and more, especially as I get closer to graduation.

I go to a top party school yet haven't fucked someone new yet. It is literally crushing my soul and making me depressed. My social life is great, I have cool friends, I dress well, I have an awesome life. but I put so much value in picking up girls that it leaves me sad when I fail. I am consciously putting in effort, but I can't seem to ever make the big close. I'm truly starting to think theres something fucked up with me. The sheer anguish and obession makes it hard to even focus on classes.

I try to learn about pick-up, but I think it only strengthens my obsession and then the aftermath of depression and self-loathing when I can't make it happen. I'm caught in a viscious cycle, I just don't know what I'm doing wrong.

Currently wrote this from my bed as I wade in my hangover anxiety and self-loathing.