Hey seddit,

(long post, small tl;dr at the end) long time lurker, first time poster here. After getting out of a really long term relationship, I'm now back in the 'dating game'. I've met a few girls that I hang out with solo after meeting them through mutual friends or in a bar, and I keep having the same problem: I easily manage to build the first rapport, we talk, we 'click' and have fun, they add me on facebook or give me their number and I equally easily am able to either invite them over to my place or go over to their place to watch a movie and drink some wine and just hang out in a solo-setting.

The problem I'm having, is that I fail to escalate it anywhere beyond that.

The first girl I met in this fashion was a HB7, met through a mutual friend. The evening we met, I was going to go to a party with my female friend and she invited another female friend over and we went with the three of us to a gig of some people we knew. Initially, she didn't seem interested at all and was a bit standoff-ish, but since I was completely outcome-independent at that point, I didn't really care and so after a while she warmed up to me and she added me to facebook that same evening to tag me in a pic she took of me and a friend. So we chatted, danced, laughed and generally had a good time. The second time I met her it was through the same mutual friend, we did chat some on fb but nothing spectacular (she always initiated convo on fb, though), and we had a good time again. After teasing her that she hadn't seen a certain popular movie, she told me on fb that we should change that, so I told her that she could come over and watch the movie, which she did. During this 'date', I was trying to gauge her interest by moving somewhat closer but I didn't dare make a 'move' since I didn't perceive her being open to anything (may have been wrong). Nothing happened, she went home and we repeated this a few times. We chatted on fb, arranged for her to come over to watch two more movies, drank some wine, and then she went home, again with nothing happening.

The second girl, I approached at a bar since she was sitting by herself and occasionally spoke to the bartender, which was a friend of mine. We talked for a few hours, clicked as well, she commented on how gorgeous my eyes were, so I figured I was in. I usually don't have a problem building that first attraction, I'm not a don juan but I am what you might call "smooth" with words and am quite presentable.

Same story, we meet a few times for drinks, not always solo, and then we decide to watch a movie together. We didn't set a location, but it was implied that it would be at her place, so technically she didn't really invite me, but we agreed her place would be better, so I go over and we watch a movie and have some wine, same deal. We're sitting quite close after a while, legs touching, arms touching, but nothing else. At some point while we're laughing and having a good time, her face is pretty close, so I kiss her on the mouth, but she doesn't really reciprocate. She doesn't remove her face entirely, just doesn't kiss me back, it was like a quick kiss on the lips you would give your SO when you are leaving, for example. Nothing else happens, I'm too uncertain about the whole thing to move in for another kiss, so I go home after a while, but we still had a good time. When I get home, she asked me to let her know if I made it home safely (I was by bike and it was storming quite heavily), which I did. After texting for a few minutes, I ask her the following:

Me: did I just kiss you tonight?

Her: is your memory that bad? ;)

Me: well, it was a spur of the moment thing, hope I didn't offend you!

Her: No worries, you have nothing to apologise for! Good night

So, I met her again two nights after that for drinks, nothing happened, and then last night again for a movie at her place (I initiated the movie-date) with wine again, nothing happened though, we watched movies, sat pretty close together at the end, but I was too nervous to try anything since we're getting along great and I don't want to blow our friendship, but at the same time I'd like to get somewhere further.

Some background: on our first contact I was very open about how I'm not looking for a serious relationship, but she was in a relationship at that time but told me she wasn't very much into the guy. The next time I met her, she told me she broke up with him.

She's also one of those people who are always hugging other people and touching them without thinking too much about it, so I'm even more unclear on what her position is. I have the feeling that we're clicking, but I fear that I'm misreading it and that she just wants to hang out and be friends and nothing more.

tl;dr: Two questions: How to make sure that a girl touching you (kino from her side) is an IOI and not habitual and how to escalate when fearing that there is no interest on her part (or how to interpret body language).