Question about showing non-neediness.

HERE_HAVE_SOME_AIDS · 2012-07-23T22:38:22+00:00

Non-neediness: you are a planet with a core, a huge ball of iron at your gut that stablises you and makes it so even the most god damn violent dinosaur-killing comet can't do more than make you grunt.

You have an orbit. You have gravity. You are doing your own thing, churning away in your own elliptical path, saying wassup to the stars and constellations. She's a satellite; a grizzled Soviet cosmonaut waving madly from her little manned craft.

You can give a fuck about where she goes, etc - if it's dangerous or stupid, you should say something; if it sounds fun, ask questions about it, enjoy the memory, etc. What you cannot do is be anything less than a planet, solid, implacable, impassively sailing through the eons and millenia on your own special path.

Examples of bad, non-planetary behaviour: whining; compliment-fishing; jealousy-hinting; passive-aggressive fighting. A planet isn't lonely. A planet isn't sulky. A planet is a goddamn planet!

Breaking with the metaphor for a moment - to put it in your own words, non-neediness constitutes "not seeming like you give a fuck." It's much more than that, though. It's actually not giving a fuck, for the right reasons - not because you're a dick or selfish or whatever, but because you have YOUR OWN stuff to give all your fucks about it.

Now. Do you have your own stuff to give all your fucks about? Work, hobbies, friends, etc? No? Get these things.

Now - here's the tricky part. Have you tried and failed to keep your fucks to yourself? That's about self-worth and self-image; that's about your psychology, and whether - for whatever reason - you have the emotional resources to do what is probably the hardest thing around and love yourself. But that's a different kettle of fish.

Spend all your fucks on your own hobbies and passions. Sprinkle some residual fuck-dust on hers - "Oh? You saw your ex-boyfriend? What's he up to?" - but remember, you're not a wave to break again and again against the cliff, making a shitlode of noise and gradually wearing her down and maybe scaring her off. Waves are influenced by the workings of the moon. You ARE the moon; a planet; a huge self-contained rock, spinning madly. Be well.

uncchottie · 2012-07-23T22:15:12+00:00

Do you stalk or you just curious?

Title	Question about showing non-neediness.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	1
Comments	3
Date	July 23, 2012 10:13 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/x1fjt/question_about_showing_nonneediness/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/question-about-showing-non-neediness.1336079 https://theredarchive.com/post/1336079

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