There is a common piece of advice out there that conversations flow well if you make a comment relating to the other person's last statement then follow up with a question. As such, the conversation is guided by what questions you ask.

After reading a couple books, including Mark Manson's book "Models", I learned that conversations become more personal when you share more about yourself by speaking with statements which express your beliefs/opinions/feelings far better than questions do.

I found that this particular section made me a bit uncomfortable when I read it, so I tried changing the way I converse by using more statements and fewer questions in my conversations with others. I haven't practiced this a lot yet, maybe 10 conversations, but I immediately felt my conversations became more strained for the following three reasons:

  1. As a kid, my communications skills were not very good. Early in my quest for self-improvement, I decided to make it my goal to learn as much from the other person as possible in every conversation. This made conversation much more fun and interesting for me, which improved my social skills a LOT. For the first time, I found myself seeking out conversation rather than avoiding it. Asking questions has been a rewarding habit in the past and I realize that it is going to be tough habit to break. I fear that my mind is resisting this change because of the worry that conversations will become mundane again. What do you guys find fun or rewarding in this type of conversation? I don't think I quite get it.

  2. I am an introvert and I find that this type of communication tires me out quickly. Coming up with an opinion or anecdote to share for every comment that she makes is much more mentally taxing than simply asking a question generally related to what she is talking about. I realize that effort is required to change my habits and to truly relate with other people, but fuck if I'm not completely brain dead and unwilling to talk any more after about 10 minutes of this. Are there any introverts out there who might have solved this problem?

  3. Before I learned that speaking with statements was how "natural" conversations are supposed to flow, I found that I was quickly turned off by girls who never asked any questions. It made me feel as though they were way more interested in expressing themselves than actually getting to know me. I know that many people have felt this way in conversation with someone. I am concerned that if I make the conversation too much about ME and MY feelings, then she will become disinterested quickly if she isn't naturally assertive. There seems to be a very fine line between expressing vulnerability in conversation and dominating the conversation. How exactly do I manage this properly whhile leading the conversation?

I do believe that speaking with statements can work well at developing emotional connections, but I am worried about the above three points. Does anyone have any advice that might might help me address these concerns? All opinions are appreciated.