Who are you really? Are you being true to your REAL self and are you acting that way in your interactions with others? Most of us act from our ego which is fear based, so we often don’t take any action at all for fear of hurting our ego. Instead we act in a way that will protect or feed our ego. We also want to be accepted and liked, so we act in a way that we think others want us to be. But acting this way is not attractive at all and actually hurts our ability to attract what we truly want in a relationship.

I am guilty of this and trying to work on this. I believe real change happens from the inside out. Don’t spend so much time trying to change how you act, but instead spend that time on developing and improving yourself and getting to know your true self and values. Then you will find yourself automatically acting differently if you are true to yourself. This will require having the discipline to honor your values and to act genuinely (true to yourself) which is possibly the hardest part. I think you will then find all of your relationships improve and you will attract the right relationships into your life.

I am starting by listing out 20 character traits that I want to develop (you can google this, things such as honesty, integrity, confidence, generosity). Then I am seeing what traits I already have and finding what I need to work on. Then I am selecting my top 5 most important values and trying to have the discipline to make sure I always act in a way that is true to them.

I am hopeful that by working on my character first and getting to know what is really important to me and having the discipline to be true to myself, that this will help me to truly like myself better and to really know my true self. That should naturally create a confidence, a genuineness, and a positive energy (vibe) that others will find attractive and will naturally be attracted to.