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FoxtrotCharlie22
[–][deleted] [score hidden] 5 years ago stickied comment (0 children) | Copy Link
This post had to be taken down because it appears to be focused on a specific situation or person. While Field Reports deal with specific situations and people, remember that the focus is different:
No worries though! Though the thread has been taken down, any conversations you have started here can still continue, and if you want to PM a mod to get their opinion on this thread, feel free to do so and they will still be able to weigh in.
For next time, remember that posts about a specific situational advice with a specific person are fine as field should be directed to Ask Seddit (/r/askseddit), not to be confused with Ask Reddit.
[–]SimplyyBreon 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
As a woman, I suggest apologizing the next time you see her and clarifying what you meant. Just be open with your intentions. Apologizing also shows humility which can take the edge off a bit.
[–]FoxtrotCharlie22[S] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I appreciate your help. But in terms of having chances with this girl doesn't it kill the vibe of potential partnership? Is it not unattractive to girls when a guy shows humility and exposes weaknesses?
[–]SimplyyBreon -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
For YOUR own good, you want a partner willing to allow you to be weak at times. The mindset of being “weak” a turn off is just toxic masculinity at play.
[–]Vinniikii -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
No, you have burned this bridge. Need to work on your insecurities and inadequacies. Imagine a stammering, staring, ugly person watching you on the bus and then days later talking to you. It will make a memorable impression and not a sexy one. It makes the girl wary, this guy wants me and doesn’t care that I’m uninterested.
While it is reassuring to imagine that this was somehow charming, somehow redeemable, this is narcissism. She is not a reflection of you, you failed. Pushing your own comfort zone might help you process but sinking a first impression like this “poisons the well.”
[–]FoxtrotCharlie22[S] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
First off man, I wasn't stammering nor staring at her, just passed by and noticed her, seemed rather casual to me. You make sound horrible that if you do not approach a woman the first time you see her its doomed and I beg to differ.and man why you calling me ugly...
Second, I don't really understand what you mean in your second 2nd paragraph, but jesus why are you ramming hard at me, don't think I failed, yea the interaction didn't end really well but beside that I think that its a huge victory.
[–]Vinniikii -2 points-1 points0 points 5 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Flip the narrative. Imagine that every time you go out in public, awkward intimidated men come up and try to talk. Imagine that if you are friendly, they puff up like proud roosters and imagine they are about to sleep with you. If you are rude, they often are mean and violent.
Now add your own intrusion to this mindset. He is awkward and polite, so not dangerous. But he is pathetic, uncertain, unsexy. More reason to let that other guy give you rides rather than continue the monotonous grind of bus convos.
You asked if there was a world where this was a victory. I answered, no. Practicing basic social confidence is a prequisite, it is very unlikely that you can convert this. On the bus, the grim prospect of being a strange man’s chance to practice flirting. If you meet her elsewhere, she is doubly wary, why did you follow her? The ship has sailed, the bridge has burned.
If it is a victory just to talk to a stranger, consider toastmasters or improv comedy. No seduction visible here.
[–]pua_max -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Too harsh bro. In time he’ll become a confident, charming man. That will take work beyond toastmasters or improv (not saying he shouldn’t do those). When he becomes that man, women will be glad that he came up to say hi.
[–]FoxtrotCharlie22[S] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I do not know what improv comedy and toastmasters is, but his comment.seems rather odd to me. While I understand that my game was weak at that point, that was third cold approach ever in a high pressure scenario and furthermore I think that if that woman was a bit more into my looks it would of gone better, since imo its not all about what you say, rather a combination of this and if the girl actually want to give you a chance. I see many "PUA maestros" who get rejected a bunch because the girl wouldn't give him the chance due to looks, her mood, w/e.
This guy puts it all on me and I cant accept this and not because it's harsh, its because it's not gonna get me anywhere...
[–]pua_max 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Your last line is exactly right. Of course, please be considerate of the woman. That goes without saying. However, you have no choice but to approach if you want to get better. That's what I've done, that's what many men have done since time immemorial, and that's what you're going to do. Good luck!
[–]FoxtrotCharlie22[S] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
So what do you say? Give it another shot or take it as is and move on?
[–]pua_max 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Generally I’d advise moving on. Go find new women and decrease your neediness for any one girl. However, if you see her again, say hi and game her but actively try to fail. Why? You need to learn to persist and get through this mental handicap on whether it’s ok to reapproach. At the same time, you shouldn’t invest too much into this girl. Imo it’s almost always fine to approach, no matter what the situation is. I’ve approached at night, in stores, big groups, small groups, in the gym, cashier, you name it. It’s all fine and natural as long as you are truly a good man who wants the best for her.
[–]FoxtrotCharlie22[S] 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Amen brother thanks for the reply, if I'll stumble onto her again ill chat her up casually and see if it gets anywhere ( no harm in that I suppose ). I'll also take the other advices on here and try to be willing to show weakness and not full try hard, like telling her how weird I asked out last time and I'd like to ask again or something along these lines...
[–]9MaxR9 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
Fuck off and shut your bitch ass mouth up. The funny thing is that I kinda know that reason why you're so harsh on OP for no reason lol. He didn't do anything wrong and yes actually for one of the first approaches of OP this is a vitctory as he had the balls to actually approach her, but yeah now let's get back to the reason why you're so harsh. I know you're a sad, pussy ass virigin sitting behind his pc probs still living with his mom. No college degree and a shitty ass job. You yourself don't have the balls to go out and talk to girls, which is why you're hard on OP because OP actually has balls.
[–]FoxtrotCharlie22[S] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thank god im not the only one who thinks this guy going way too ham on me like a PUA god, damn I asked for help not to be shot down where is the humanity....
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[–]SimplyyBreon 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]FoxtrotCharlie22[S] 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]SimplyyBreon -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Vinniikii -1 points0 points1 point (10 children) | Copy Link
[–]FoxtrotCharlie22[S] 0 points1 point2 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]Vinniikii -2 points-1 points0 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]pua_max -1 points0 points1 point (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]FoxtrotCharlie22[S] 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]pua_max 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]FoxtrotCharlie22[S] 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]pua_max 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]FoxtrotCharlie22[S] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]9MaxR9 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]FoxtrotCharlie22[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link