I’ve been shooting my shot at women, been nerve wracking to say the least. However, it’s a 1000x better to possibly get rejected than to kick myself asking “what if I rose to the occasion?”

These are just things I’ve observed overtime as I’ve done approaching. I’m by no means an expert on dating or anything. But I will say it does become fun after awhile and you start to learn little things along the way but make each experience better than the last

I’ve learned a couple of things:

  1. Women aren’t going to make the first move often, if they do, it’s subtle. Like glancing our way more than once, walking by us multiple times to pretend like they’re throwing away something, or coughing/sighing/clearing throat louder than necessary. They do everything short of saying “hello.” It’s almost comical. But it’s because they don’t want to be seen as easy to the guy/desperate to their friends, have a bruised ego from being rejected before, scared of being rejected, or just thinks they’re above approaching a man. Luckily this all changes when both parties are dating, effort becomes expected from everyone involved. There’s this saying that goes like this: women have the luxury of men approaching them, men have the luxury of approaching the women they want.

  2. Sometimes making a smart observation is all it takes to get the ball rolling. It can be as simple as highlighting something interesting happening around us or acknowledge whatever the person we’d like to talk to is doing. Personally, I felt this put others at ease because I wasn’t trying to start out with a cheesy pick-up line. The interactions feel more genuine.

  3. Having self-respect is much, much more important than chasing after sex and dates. Dating should be fun, but it shouldn’t be making us do things we don’t normally do. Things like not taking no for an answer, constantly checking for texts, questioning potential partners on insignificant things, taking thing everything they do personally, or giving them free real estate in your head are counterintuitive to having a good dating/sex life. Dating isn’t going anywhere anytime soon so it’s better to work on developing your personality, hobbies, and accomplishing goals.

  4. Looks get a foot in the door, character gets a seat at the table. We can look like an African or Greek god but if we don’t have anything going on in your life or are able to communicate ourselves effectively to others, we’d be seen as duds. It turns the other party off and kills sexual attraction right away. It’s sad because not all of us were raised with the tools to be great communicators, but that’s the reality. Again, self-improvement seems to be the remedy to this dilemma.