My wife and I have been going to swingers clubs for a few years now. She gets off seeing me make another woman feel good and/or watching me go beast mode on a woman. My wife is also fully on board with a situation where if I am travelling, meet someone and click with them, then have some fun and as long as I keep it safe and give her the details later. If it matters, I am older than the usual crowd here, 54 and my wife is 55.

Note: I was not wearing a wedding ring because I never do. Didn't wear one my entire 20 year first marriage and haven't worn one yet in this one.

So there I was, travelling last week, nursing the remains of my second drink at the rooftop bar. I saw a cute, age appropriate woman in a pink sweater walking past. I smiled, she sat down, and we started talking. Near immediate physical touch, arm grab, blah blah blah, big laughs, blah blah. We talk about a bunch of shit, she tells me 'You made my day' She was probably about as drunk as I was. (?)

She tells me she'd just gotten away from a date. "Dating is horrible these days. That guy was repulsive."

I didn't freeze, just said, "I know what you mean." But I felt duplicitous, because I was lying to this woman by omission. I know for a fact that every woman has had some asshole tell her he's got an arrangement with his wife. No one is ever going to believe it even though in this case, it happened to be true. But I didn't stop lying by omission either; it was wearing on me, but she was cute and thin and running her tongue over her teeth at me. The flesh is weak.

They closed the bar, she went for the hug / kissed my check instead of the kiss in the elevator and told me "I love you," as the door closed. (?) So maybe she was drunker than I thought, but I had definitely made an impact. Felt good about that if nothing else.

But, it's weird. I was excited as fuck about the situation, but at the same time, I *really* did not like lying. It was exhausting and my filters for deception are relatively poor. Yet I know that coming out about it would have killed any chance I had, and it whatever reasons it didn't work out that night, it wasn't like this woman thought I was going to have a relationship with her. I did really want to seduce her though.

Maybe this is better for an ENM subreddit, but they'd probably just tell me to meet other swingers.

Anyone faced this? What do?