So basically the TL:DR is title.

I'm looking for any resources on how to open and not come across as chasing or overeager. Or any resources on how to communicate on an emotional level to get women hooked (to the hook point) as I feel when I just ask questions I come off as inquisitive and it just turns into me asking question after question.

​

​

Long version: I think I'm pretty good looking guy, I even on occasion get opened by women because I naturally try to be the life of the party or the brightest person in the room. The thing is I think I come off as super forward, because of im a very forward person. i was always told "if you want something ask for it." I think I'm struggling with overconfidence. I'm very new to the PUA community (Actually I am just getting out of a 4-year monogamous marriage). But I have no approach anxiety, the thing is actually most times I actually start approaching a woman without thinking and then when I get to her I don't really have much more to say than "hi?" but that will sometimes blow up in my face. I struggle to hit the hook points with women and most times don't have much to talk about other than myself, what I do or where I'm from. I don't want to come off as overly questioning or inquisitive cause i find that kills conversation just as quickly. (Maybe because it becomes a frame of I'm interested?)

Edit : I’d also like to add that I don’t think I’m particularly funny , as most of my humor is kinda dark or perverted , I mean sometimes girls go for it but I rarely ever use it with women , don’t want to put them off. ​

Occasionally I will open with a genuine compliment I've noticed about her (or the basic commenting on her outfit) but I think this places me in the position of chasing and if the woman wasn't already interested or checking me out this will more often then not blow up in my face.

What I think my problems are :

  1. I think I struggle to communicate on an emotional level as evidence of struggling to hit hook points and getting women emotionally invested, I grew up with 4 very close friends and most times we don't even speak in full sentences to each other. and I think overly logically and try to rationalize things and ideas to there simplest and shortest form.

  2. I am not able to socially calibrate well, and most times instead op to TRY and assert my frame over the situation and insist that I get my way or respectfully bow out. *(Which I don't think is a bad thing because I want to maintain my high-value frame and my best friend often comments that I am brave and courageous and to me, this just translates as knowing what you want and not being able or willing to settle for anything but that.)*

    ie: in a recent interaction out. |With one of my brothers in the nightlife scene, we saw two girls walk into a food spot so we approached. He opened and somehow we ended up getting to talking about smoking . as I am an avid smoker. living in a tourist destination these girls were having trouble finding smoke, my brother offered to smoke them out they jumped at the idea but I simply told them if they wanted to smoke with me they would have to buy me ice cream from the store. this blew up and after a little more slightly hostile conversation (or a shit test, I'm not sure if I can even point out the difference when I'm in the situation) I respectfully bowed out of the set simply saying "ok you have fun tonight then"

I read on this Reddit somewhere, somebody referenced "Spike game" and how you could use specific phrases or comment threads to get a woman more emotionally invested in the conversation,

I was wondering if someone could reference me to some of these, and maybe some high-value openers so I can hold my frame? Any references or feedback about how I can correct or improve myself in these areas. Also anything about learning how to communicate on an emotional level.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I appreciate any and all feedback.