I've spent a lot of time browsing all different types of dating advice sources, including books, subreddits, forums, even pop culture. And I've had ups and downs, just like all of us who seek that information. But after so much study, thought, and experience, the problem at this point is that there's too much information to sort through. It's too easy to get lost in the sea of information but lose sight of the big picture.

So here I present the paradox.

No dating advice is perfect. Understand the theories but use them in moderation.

I see those cringy "nice guy" texts, and I see where they are misguided. Sometimes they try to be to straightforward, sometimes they try and "be themselves", sometimes they even try to "neg". I think we can all see their problems - hearing a small piece of advice and taking it too far.

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Examples of this middle ground.

Confident. Not arrogant and not a hermit.

Independent. Not needy and not cold/aloof.

Sexual. Not creepy/sex obsessed, and not "just friends".

Fit. Not Schwarzenegger and not fat.

But don't just do what I say. Figure out what works for you, experiment with yourself. This is the difference between the newbie "PUA" and the genuinely attractive man.

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In a way, the best piece of advice is to be your best self. NOT to be yourself, but to be your best self. We can try and define some of the main traits (most importantly confident and independent) but at the end of the day there's no secret formula. Just be the kind of man that you'd want to date.

I'd be happy to go more into detail, give anecdotal examples, or just help out, so comment or PM if you want more individual advice.