Hello everyone.

I am here posting this story regarding a girl I am currently kind of seeing, mostly to get some sort of an external feedback on the situation.

I got to know this girl quite a long time ago, about 5 years actually, and I have always been into her, but we never really got anything past chatting a bit and making some work together. She is a beautiful, smart but also hard to deal and in my opinion a quite particular girl that I know to have charmed more guys than one even if, to this day at 24 years old, she never had a boyfriend and probably is still a virgin.

I always felt a strong connection with her, but with probably both of us not being the most social expressive people, we never really got to really know each other in the past years. But time passes, I made my experiences, dated other people and have grown as a person, and in the last 6 months I started to see her and another common friend quite often. It's actually funny and surprising how she contacted me after we didn't hear from each other for about 6 months. She just waved me out of the blue on facebook, and I thought it was a mistake, only to be told that it was not. Our meetings have always been great, but I only managed to see her on my own only a couple of times, most of the times we were with other people. Every time I tried to ask her out and be alone with her, she would say that is incredibly busy and doesn't really have time. If it was any other girl I would have dropped her at my third try, but since we are not really talking about a normal person, I let it pass quite often.

It all spiked in the last week end where we spent 4 days outside together with also another friend of ours, and the flirting, touching, teasing, giggling and whatever was at an all time high. I would like to make this point even more evident by telling you that she generally doesen't like to be touched, and I noticed a huge difference when I did it and when our other friend tried to do it, because of course he is also into her, who isn't? With him it was straight rejection, with me it was playful reactions. By the end of the trip I kinda felt sorry for the poor guy because we were pretty much in our own world, so much that I felt that It was done, I just need to ask her out again and kiss her.

So I ask her out, twice, to have dinner together, and again she is so busy with her university and job, and "It's not that I don't want to, it's just that I don't have time". So now I am here, a bit confused and sightly conflicted. I am generally a well controlled guy when it comes to these things, always trying to not invest myself too much in other people, I mean I was making out with a Tinder date the day before the trip, so I don't think of myself to be your average insecure boy, but probably now I spilled my milk a bit, and it bothers me so much, both because I don't know anymore if it was everything just my impression, or maybe it was not, but also because I feel I am handling my mood to her, which is something I always tried to avoid with girls. She is in control.

During our trip there was a moment where she was almost crying, ranting about her current situation and how much she hates it, how she can't wait to finish her university and how she doesn't have a social life anymore because of it. So maybe everything is true, and it is just a wrong time for her, but is it really? She also said that one of her female friends told her that "she makes guys believe she is interested", which I got it as a kinda big red flag, but I also notice how she is with other guys, how she doesn't like to be touched, and with me I felt it was different. But what if I am wrong?

I don't want to confront her on this, because I feel talking about this things reeks of desperation, but I don't really know what to do with her. I was actually thinking of just letting it go for some time, mostly for me to pick up my thoughts, and just roll with it, but what if I am wrong? What if now it's the time to strike hard?

This also adds to the fact that I am in a time of my life that is quite uncertain, so maybe I am also giving it more importance than it should have? I will likely be leaving soon, and I don't want to waste time.

I am sorry for this puddle of thoughts and thank you if you red the whole thing. I don't expect you to understand, as I also don't, but I will gladly listen to your impressions.